The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2015-03-18

Total Pages: 120

ISBN-13: 9781312999015

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Paperback edition. This book is one-half of my previous book "The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods: 500 Anecdotes." This book contains 250 anecdotes about sports, including this one: As an 11-year-old, gymnast Shannon Miller finished second (behind Wendy Bruce) in the all-around competition in the Alamo Classic. Afterward, the pre-teen Shannon signed autographs for her adoring fans. In fact, when her father, Ron, went up to talk to her, other parents grew angry at him because they thought he was cutting in line.

The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods
The Funniest People in Sports and Neighborhoods

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2006-11

Total Pages: 239

ISBN-13: 1430300302

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This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) Bob Zuppke coached the football Illini for years. In a discussion of football rules, someone described a play and asked whether the officials had made the right call. Before answering, however, Mr. Zuppke asked, "Which team made the foul-Illinois or the other one?" 2) At a Westminster Dog Show in Madison Square Garden, a woman was selling an expensive coat made for dogs. Saying "We want her dog to look as smart as madame," the saleslady held up a pink cocktail coat made out of embroidered silk with a lining of mohair. Sportswriter Robert Lipsyte asked her, "When would a dog wear that?" The saleslady replied, "After five o'clock." 3) Shannon Martin was six years old when she won an age-12-and-under roping contest, for which she was written up in the "Roping Sports News." Because she hadn't learned to read yet, she kept saying to her father, "Come on, Dad. Read it again."

The Funniest People in Sports
The Funniest People in Sports

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2005-08-01

Total Pages: 66

ISBN-13: 0595366740

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"The Funniest People in Sports: 250 Anecdotes About Sports" contains such anecdotes as the following: Umpire Beans Reardon once made a mistake. Richie Ashburn slid into second base and Billy Cox attempted to tag him. Beans yelled 'Safe," but at the same time he flung his arm in the 'Out" gesture. Mr. Ashburn asked, 'What the hell does that mean?" Mr. Reardon replied, 'Richie, you know you're safe. Billy, you know he's safe. But 30,000 fans see my arm. Richie, you're out." Figure skater Rosalynn Sumners has a tendency to put on weight. When she was skating for Disney, her contract required her to be weighed each week, and if she was three pounds over her desired weight, Disney fined her $10. After a while, Ms. Sumners began to stand on the scales each week with a $10 bill in her hand.

From the "Iliad" to the "Odyssey": A Retelling in Prose of Quintus of Smyrna’s "Posthomerica"
From the

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2014-10-23

Total Pages: 202

ISBN-13: 131213979X

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Homer created the epic poems ""Iliad"" and ""Odyssey."" The "Iliad" tells only a small part of the story of the Trojan War. For example, the "Iliad" does not tell the story of the Trojan Horse although Homer knew about the Trojan Horse and assumed that his audience knew its story. Other, shorter epic poems that made up the Epic Cycle told the rest of the story of the Trojan War. The ""Iliad"" and the ""Odyssey"" have survived to the present time, but the other epic poems of the Epic Cycle have been lost since ancient times. Fortunately, Quintus of Smyrna wrote an epic poem that retold the tales recounted in the lost epic poems of the Epic Cycle. He told the story of the Trojan War from the end of the ""Iliad ""to when Odysseus sets sail for home in the "Odyssey" after Troy has fallen. In this retelling, as in all my retellings, I have tried to make the work of literature accessible to modern readers.

The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes
The Funniest People in Comedy and Relationships: 500 Anecdotes

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: Lulu.com

Published: 2006-09-01

Total Pages: 214

ISBN-13: 1847287808

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This book contains such anecdotes as these: 1) In his Answer Man column, film critic Roger Ebert answered a question by Matt Sandler about who was the world's most beautiful woman by saying that she was Indian actress Aishwarya Rai. In a later Answer Man column, a reader stated that Mr. Ebert should have answered the question by saying, "My wife." However, Mr. Ebert had a good reason for not answering the question that way: "Matt Sandler asked about women, not goddesses." 2) To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul's show for year--unopened.

The Funniest People in Books and Music
The Funniest People in Books and Music

Author: David Bruce

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2005-11-01

Total Pages: 135

ISBN-13: 0595378986

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"The Funniest People Who Write Books and Make Music" contains such anecdotes as these: When Peg Bracken started writing, she would often type the first page of a famous short story for inspiration. Often, she discovered that the page did not look as impressive typed on a sheet of paper as it did printed on a page in a book, so sometimes she would imitate her English professor and write on the sheet of paper: 'You can do better than this, Mr. Faulkner." Andri Previn played jazz with a couple of American-African musicians. Afterwards, he went into a diner, where two white men asked him, 'Why the hell don't you play with your own kind?" Mr. Previn replied, 'To tell you the truth, I wanted to, but I couldn't find two other Jews who swing." Soccer and Cup Final day are important in England. Once, the noted conductor Sir Thomas Beecham held a rehearsal on Cup Final day. The rehearsal had been going on for only a short time when a giant television was delivered to the rehearsal area. Sir Thomas then said, 'Now, gentlemen, let's get down to the most important business of the day-watching the match."