The State of Affairs

The State of Affairs

Author: Esther Perel

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2017-10-10

Total Pages: 321

ISBN-13: 0062322605

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"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”


Sexual Detours

Sexual Detours

Author: Holly Hein

Publisher: Golden Books Adult Publishing

Published: 2000-04-01

Total Pages: 288

ISBN-13: 9780312253356

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The Startling Truth Behind Love, Lust, and Infidelity At long last, we have a book about affairs that is not about blame. Sexual Detours offers an illuminating-and powerful-portrait of the human psyche that sheds light on the hidden dark recesses of the world of infidelity. Its striking and metaphorical language unravels the secrets behind affairs. This book is for anyone who has ever been enchanted and beguiled by the idea of a romance; entangled in a clandestine relationship; devastated by betrayal; recovering from loss; or even simply hoping to find love and happiness. In short, everyone. We've all thought about having an affair. Who hasn't wondered what it would be like to have a relationship with that special person . . . right next door . . . in the other office . . . or just around the corner? We all crave ecstasy, obsession, excitement, and romance. And we all find intimacy and elusive chimera slipping from our grasp. Sometimes, we look for solace in the arms of a lover and seek a romantic exit on the highway of our lives as we struggle with our dreams and wishes, fears and realities. With insight and sensitivity, Dr. Holly Hein leads us on a voyage of discovery that explores the true meaning behind our sexual detours. She shows us why we do it. How we do it. And what to do about it. Dr. Hein clarifies that an affair reveals more about our selves than about our sex lives; it is more about the chemistry of escape than about sexual lightening. And, ultimately, an affair is more about the betrayal of the self than it is about breaking marriage vows. Every affair has a cover story and carries a secret message written in code-it is as unique as a fingerprint. Dr. Hein explains how to decipher the hidden code and to interpret the true message behind the cover story, repairing the cables of communication and translating the language of the inner world. Vivid case histories illustrate how unrecognized, unexpressed needs often surface in disguise, leading us to take flight and reject what our partner symbolizes as we seek escape in the fantasy of a tryst. Dr. Hein illustrates how an affair conceals the real issues-showing us how to recognize this-and tells us what steps to take in order to have more rewarding intimate relationships. Sexual Detours is a beacon to all who have been touched by the anguish, denial, resentment, guilt, and shame of an affair, encouraging us to emerge from the pain of infidelity and create a self-awareness that will forge the bonds of a lasting intimacy.


True Love Dates

True Love Dates

Author: Debra K. Fileta

Publisher: Zondervan

Published: 2013-10-08

Total Pages: 212

ISBN-13: 0310336805

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It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to "kiss dating goodbye" but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating.


Adultery

Adultery

Author: Deborah L. Rhode

Publisher: Harvard University Press

Published: 2016-03-14

Total Pages: 195

ISBN-13: 0674969774

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At a time when legal and social prohibitions on sexual relationships are declining, Americans are still nearly unanimous in their condemnation of adultery. Over 90 percent disapprove of cheating on a spouse. In her comprehensive account of the legal and social consequences of infidelity, Deborah Rhode explores why. She exposes the harms that criminalizing adultery inflicts, and she makes a compelling case for repealing adultery laws and prohibitions on polygamy. In the twenty-two states where adultery is technically illegal although widely practiced, it can lead to civil lawsuits, job termination, and loss of child custody. It is routinely used to threaten and tarnish public officials and undermine military careers. And running through the history of anti-adultery legislation is a double standard that has repeatedly punished women more severely than men. An “unwritten law” allowing a man to avoid conviction for killing his wife’s lover remained common well into the twentieth century. Murder under these circumstances was considered an act of understandable passion. Adultery has been called the most creative of sins, and novelists and popular media have lavished attention on sexual infidelity. As a focus of serious study, however, adultery has received short shrift. Rhode combines a comprehensive account of the legal and social consequences of adultery with a forceful argument for halting the state’s policing of fidelity.


Adultery

Adultery

Author: Deborah L. Rhode

Publisher: Harvard University Press

Published: 2016-03-14

Total Pages: 272

ISBN-13: 067496974X

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Despite declining prohibitions on sexual relationships, Americans are nearly unanimous in condemning marital infidelity. Deborah Rhode explores why. She exposes the harms that criminalizing adultery inflicts—including civil lawsuits, job termination, and loss of child custody—and makes a case for repealing laws against adultery and polygamy.


Patterns Of Infidelity And Their Treatment

Patterns Of Infidelity And Their Treatment

Author: Emily M. Brown

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2013-05-13

Total Pages: 358

ISBN-13: 1134947100

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The new edition of this highly-regarded book includes comprehensive discussion of the nature of an affair and the five types of affairs and their underlying dynamics. The author addresses issues regarding revealing the affair, management of the consequences, rebuilding, and treating an unmarried third party, as well as the host of complex issues regarding children and custody arrangements. New material for the second edition includes cybersex and the effects of new technology on fidelity in marriage; the effects of managed care on treatment; marriage to the third party; and a new chapter on affairs and violence.


The Dynamics of Infidelity

The Dynamics of Infidelity

Author: Lawrence Josephs

Publisher: American Psychological Association (APA)

Published: 2018

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781433827983

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This book employs research in social, personality, and evolutionary psychology to explain and offer treatment approaches for individuals and couples suffering from infidelity.


The History of Sex in American Film

The History of Sex in American Film

Author: Jody Pennington

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2007-07-30

Total Pages: 235

ISBN-13: 0313084548

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Although American films, especially Hollywood fare, are often belittled for their one-dimensional portrayal of sex, a close examination of the history of sex in American motion pictures reveals that American cinema has actually represented sex in myriad ways. A more complete understanding of the ways in which sex has been represented onscreen requires an approach that pays equal attention to cinematic techniques and to the diversity of sexual values and behaviors in American society. It is necessary to frame this discussion within the multiple contradictions of an industry that has both repressed and represented sex with equal fervor over the course of its history; of audiences that have both taken offense at and flocked to films with sexual themes; and a body politic that has regulated the sexual in popular culture even as its discourse has been saturated with sexual images and topics. The History of Sex in American Cinema moves seamlessly between general film and social history to clarify how exactly sex has been expressed cinematically, and how we have responded to those expressions as a culture. In March of 1965 the Supreme Court put into motion legal changes that marked the end of local film censorship as it had existed since the early years of the twentieth century. In Hollywood that same year, The Pawnbroker was released with a Production Code Seal of Approval, despite nudity that violated that Code. As sexual liberation occurred onscreen, parallel developments occurred in the way we lived our lives, and by the end of the 1960s Americans were having sex more often, and with more partners, than ever before. There was also now a public debate surrounding sexuality, and one of the loudest and most continually active voices in this debate was that of American film. This work begins with an examination of some of the earliest altercations in what later came to be known as the culture wars, and follows those skirmishes, more often than not provoked by American film, up to the modern day. By looking at how sex in the cinema has contributed to the demise of the fragile consensus between liberals and conservatives on freedom of expression, The History of Sex in American Film suggests a perspective from which today's culture wars can be better understood. This work combines close readings of many representative films-including Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, The Graduate, Blue Velvet, Philadelphia, L.A. Confidential, and Closer-with a social and historical account of the most significant changes in American sexual behavior and sexual representation over the past fifty years.


The Understanding of Adultery in the Hebrew Bible

The Understanding of Adultery in the Hebrew Bible

Author: Alexander Izuchukwu Abasili

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2016-06-09

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 1514498502

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Adultery, though not an umbrella concept for all the sexual prohibitions in the Hebrew Bible, enjoys a certain pride of place. Remarkably, it is the one sexual prohibition attested in all biblical genres, which makes it very representative in the Hebrew Bible. It is the only Hebrew biblical sexual prohibition explicitly mentioned in the Decalogue. A solid understanding of Hebrew biblical adultery, therefore, is an important step towards grasping the vital role of human sexuality in the Hebrew Bible, both in terms of inter-human relationships and the relationship between the human and the divine. Without prejudice to the contents of the Hebrew biblical lexicons and theological dictionaries, this work aims at providing a comprehensive understanding of adultery in the Hebrew Bible: its meaning, punishments and the implications thereof. Among others, it corrects some wrong assumptions about the concept of adultery in the Hebrew Bible, and provides a balanced and unbiased Hebrew biblical conception of adultery and the implications thereof for todays couples.


The Oxford Handbook of Human Mating

The Oxford Handbook of Human Mating

Author: David M. Buss

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Published: 2023-02-03

Total Pages: 865

ISBN-13: 0197536433

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The scientific study of human mating has mushroomed over the past three decades, and this growth in turn has generated a proliferation of evolving literature revealing fresh discoveries about mate attraction, mate choice, mate retention, marital satisfaction, jealousy, infidelity, intimate partner violence, breakups, internet dating, cyberstalking, and sexual coercion. In The Oxford Handbook of Human Mating, editor David M. Buss showcases contributions from the best and the brightest scientists in the field, providing up-to-date summaries of theories and empirical evidence of the science of human mating strategies. Much of the research in the field is guided by sexual selection theory. Over 150 years after Darwin's proposal of sexual selection theory, it has become the most important overarching theoretical framework for the scientific study of the mating strategies of all sexually reproducing species, including humans. A mountain of research centered around Darwin's classic book has documented the many complexities of human mate competition and mate choice; how these processes differ between the sexes; and how they differ as a function of sex ratio, mate value, social contexts, ovulation cycles, personality characteristics, and cultural norms and mating rituals. Thus, the science is now ripe for a collection of work by eminent scholars in the field. David M. Buss is a leading researcher and pioneer in the study of human mating strategies, and he applies his expertise to the curation of this volume, which includes major sections covering theories of human mating; mate selection and mate attraction; mate competition; sexual conflict in mating; human pair bonding; the endocrinology of mating; and mating in the modern world.