Over the past almost 30 years, many of our friends have asked us for the secret to our dynamic, successful marriage. A frequent comment is, “You two always seem to be so happy together.”In fact, this is not true. We are not always happy. We are; however, committed to each other, and we know how to restore our relationship to a state of workability.Whether you are a newlywed couple, a veteran couple, or you are just entering the dating scene—hear ye, hear ye—our secret is out!The Four Steps to a Successful Marriage will become your pocket guide to all your relationships.
What separates happy marriages from miserable ones? Surprisingly, it’s not healthy communication. It’s not conflict resolution skills. It’s actually the size of the marriage’s joy gap . Joy Gap/joi gap/ (n.)-1. The length of time between moments of shared joy When the joy gap gets bigger, problems are more likely to overwhelm you, resentment creeps in, and you start to feel distant and alone in your marriage. When the joy gap is smaller, you regularly feel connected and happy, problems feel manageable, and your marriage becomes a reliable source of joy. But how do you ensure that you’re experiencing joy regularly? Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey have studied relationships (and neuroscience) and discovered four habits that keep joy regular and problems small. Some couples do them naturally, but anyone can learn. That’s why each chapter includes 15-minute exercises that boost joy and re-train your brain to make joy your default setting. You’ll learn new skills including how to: return to joy more quickly after disconnection create stronger bonds and elongate times of happiness boost your enjoyment of physical and emotional intimacy Find out what your marriage looks like after a little work and a whole lot of joy.
What makes marriages last? What makes couples happy? Is it possible for a so-so marriage to become a great one? From Dr. Terri Orbuch, the renowned therapist and nationally recognized relationship expert known as The Love Doctor®, comes a book that breaks new ground in marital relationships. The head researcher in a large-scale, unprecedented study funded by the National Institutes of Health—which has followed 373 couples for more than twenty-two years and is ongoing—Dr. Orbuch made some remarkable discoveries about happiness, sexuality, human mating patterns, and relationship longevity. In 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great, she releases the study’s findings to the public in a book for the first time, sharing her insights and never-before-revealed strategies for improving and enhancing your marriage—at every stage. Do you remember the feeling of first being in love? Based on the latest research about what works in happy marriages, Dr. Orbuch offers an accessible, step-by-step roadmap for reconnecting with those feelings and gaining a deeper appreciation for the things you and your spouse share. She defines the five simple strategies to help couples navigate the daily minefield of marriage…from defusing frustrations that erode your relationship to the simple things that will keep your partner happy…from the 10-minute rule to help you really get to know your spouse to reducing boredom and weeding out unprofitable behaviors. Filled with exercises, check lists, and some surprising statistics, 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great will help you bring happiness, joy and fulfillment to the most important relationship of your life. From the Hardcover edition.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential.
SIMPLE HABITS FOR MARITAL HAPPINESS is an incredible book that covers every aspect of a marriage to help you create a vibrant, rewarding relationship that grows stronger every day. Backed by over thirty years of experience, Dr. Randy Schroeder - a pastor and marriage counselor - helps you develop the habits your marriage needs. These straightforward, easy-to-understand lessons will show you how to... Apologize and forgive. Stay in love after the honeymoon. Communicate effectively with your spouse. Safeguard your oneness. Maintain emotional and physical closeness. Disagree without hurting your relationship. Budget, save, and spend together.
Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better.
Am I with the right person? Will our love last? Men and women in love are haunted by these questions. Love -- especially why it blossoms in relationships and why it later dies -- is a mystery to them. Will Our Love Last? A Couple's Road Map solves this mystery by giving readers a new understanding of love -- an understanding they can actually use to evaluate the soundness of their relationships and to answer confidently the crucial questions that mystified them before. Based on hundreds of cases in his twenty-four years as a marital therapist and twenty-nine years in his own happy marriage, Sam R. Hamburg, Ph.D., explains how compatibility is the key to lasting love. He shows how compatibility on three major dimensions -- the Practical Dimension, the Sexual Dimension, and the Wavelength Dimension -- is essential to the mutual understanding and affirmation that keep love alive, and he leads readers through a simple but systematic procedure for assessing their compatibility with a romantic partner in these crucial relationship areas. Dr. Hamburg introduces a new technique, The Hand Rotation Exercise, to help readers express their degree of compatibility and then convey that visually to their partner. In addition, he presents two new original techniques for working through relationship conflicts and coming to agreement on difficult issues: His Way/Her Way and The Long Conversation. Written in a clear, direct style that is free of jargon, Will Our Love Last? empowers readers to make important relationship decisions that are intellectually and emotionally informed. Will Our Love Last? will help couples trying to decide if they should take the next step to a more committed relationship. It will aid individuals embarking on a new relationship, or who are between relationships, to evaluate the rightness of a new or prospective partner. And it will assist people who are already in committed relationships to make an honest assessment of their prospects for happiness with their current partner. People have it in their power to make sure that they truly are with the right person. Will Our Love Last? shows the way.
The "Best Relationship Book of 2008" is now in paperback Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz's award-winning book reveals how to sustain a long-term loving marriage. In addition to exploring the seven key ingredients that define a successful marriage—togetherness, truthfulness, respect and kindness, staying fit, joint finances, tactile communication, and surprise and unpredictability—the authors have included hundreds of insightful and practical interviews with happy couples. Focuses on what's right about a successful relationship, rather than what's wrong Written by a popular and very active couple known as "the marriage doctors," who lead lectures, training, workshops, and other events every week all over the country Contains candid interviews with a diverse collection of happily married couples from around the world This book offers a positive, upbeat approach to living happily ever after.
This book presents Lee Baucom's system for saving your marriage in three easy steps: connecting with your spouse, changing yourself, and creating a new path.
Can a wife single-handedly bring a boring or broken marriage back to life? This improved and expanded edition of Laura Doyle's acclaimed First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors features real-life success stories from empowered wives who have done just that—and provides a step-by-step guide to revitalizing your own marriage. Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble, and couples counseling wasn't helping. On the brink of divorce, she decided to talk to women who'd been happily married for over a decade, and their advice stunned her. From it, she distilled Six Intimacy Skills—woman-centric practices that ended her overwhelm and resentment, restoring the playfulness and passion in her marriage. Now an internationally-recognized relationship coach, Doyle has shared her secrets with women around the globe, saving thousands of marriages with her fresh, revolutionary approach. Practical and counter-intuitive, the Six Intimacy Skills are about focusing on your own desires and transforming your own life—not bending over backwards to transform your husband. Incorporating these skills will empower you to: Attract his attention like a magnet when you relax more and do less Receive affection not because you told him to make more of an effort, but because he naturally seeks you out Feel more like yourself—and like yourself more If you've been trying to "fix" your relationship and it's not working, maybe the problem was never you, or your husband, or even the two of you as a couple. Maybe the problem is that nobody ever taught you the skills you need to foster respect, tenderness, and consideration. With humor and heart, The Empowered Wife shows you how to improve your relationship in ways you hadn't thought possible. You'll join a worldwide community of over 150,000 empowered wives who finally have the marriages they dreamed of when they said "I do."
