Surviving the White Gaze

Surviving the White Gaze

Author: Rebecca Carroll

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Published: 2021-02-02

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1982174552

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A stirring and powerful memoir from black cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely white childhood in order to forge her identity as a black woman in America. Rebecca Carroll grew up the only black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic—and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older. Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young white woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen black family, she was able to heal. Intimate and illuminating, Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today, and an extraordinarily moving portrait of resilience.


Surviving the White Gaze

Surviving the White Gaze

Author: Rebecca Carroll

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2021-02-02

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1982116323

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

An Esquire Best Book of 2021 A stirring and powerful memoir from black cultural critic Rebecca Carroll recounting her painful struggle to overcome a completely white childhood in order to forge her identity as a black woman in America. Rebecca Carroll grew up the only black person in her rural New Hampshire town. Adopted at birth by artistic parents who believed in peace, love, and zero population growth, her early childhood was loving and idyllic—and yet she couldn’t articulate the deep sense of isolation she increasingly felt as she grew older. Everything changed when she met her birth mother, a young white woman, who consistently undermined Carroll’s sense of her blackness and self-esteem. Carroll’s childhood became harrowing, and her memoir explores the tension between the aching desire for her birth mother’s acceptance, the loyalty she feels toward her adoptive parents, and the search for her racial identity. As an adult, Carroll forged a path from city to city, struggling along the way with difficult boyfriends, depression, eating disorders, and excessive drinking. Ultimately, through the support of her chosen black family, she was able to heal. Intimate and illuminating, Surviving the White Gaze is a timely examination of racism and racial identity in America today, and an extraordinarily moving portrait of resilience.


Raceless

Raceless

Author: Georgina Lawton

Publisher: HarperCollins

Published: 2021-02-23

Total Pages: 267

ISBN-13: 0063009498

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A Bustle Most Anticipated Debut of the Year From The Guardian’s Georgina Lawton, a moving examination of how racial identity is constructed—through the author’s own journey grappling with secrets and stereotypes, having been raised by white parents with no explanation as to why she looked black. Raised in sleepy English suburbia, Georgina Lawton was no stranger to homogeneity. Her parents were white; her friends were white; there was no reason for her to think she was any different. But over time her brown skin and dark, kinky hair frequently made her a target of prejudice. In Georgina’s insistently color-blind household, with no acknowledgement of her difference or access to black culture, she lacked the coordinates to make sense of who she was. It was only after her father’s death that Georgina began to unravel the truth about her parentage—and the racial identity that she had been denied. She fled from England and the turmoil of her home-life to live in black communities around the globe—the US, the UK, Nicaragua, Cuba, the Dominican Republic, Vietnam, and Morocco—and to explore her identity and what it meant to live in and navigate the world as a black woman. She spoke with psychologists, sociologists, experts in genetic testing, and other individuals whose experiences of racial identity have been fraught or questioned in the hopes of understanding how, exactly, we identify ourselves. Raceless is an exploration of a fundamental question: what constitutes our sense of self? Drawing on her personal experiences and the stories of others, Lawton grapples with difficult questions about love, shame, grief, and prejudice, and reveals the nuanced and emotional journey of forming one’s identity.


Sugar in the Raw

Sugar in the Raw

Author: Rebecca Carroll

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2011-08-24

Total Pages: 145

ISBN-13: 0307560414

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

With raw candor, elicited by Rebecca Carroll's perceptive questioning, 15 black women between the ages of 11 and 18, from places as diverse as Brooklyn and Seattle, Alabama and Vermont, speak out about their inner and outer lives. What they say about identity, self-esteem, the role of race in their perceptions and treatment, personal values, and their hopes for the future is both enlightening and moving. 144 pp. National pubilcity. 15,000 print.


The Chiffon Trenches

The Chiffon Trenches

Author: André Leon Talley

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Published: 2020-05-19

Total Pages: 304

ISBN-13: 0593129261

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the pages of Vogue to the runways of Paris, this “captivating” (Time) memoir by a legendary style icon captures the fashion world from the inside out, in its most glamorous and most cutthroat moments. “The Chiffon Trenches honestly and candidly captures fifty sublime years of fashion.”—Manolo Blahnik NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY NPR • Fortune • Garden & Gun • New York Post During André Leon Talley’s first magazine job, alongside Andy Warhol at Interview, a fateful meeting with Karl Lagerfeld began a decades-long friendship with the enigmatic, often caustic designer. Propelled into the upper echelons by his knowledge and adoration of fashion, André moved to Paris as bureau chief of John Fairchild’s Women’s Wear Daily, befriending fashion's most important designers (Halston, Yves Saint Laurent, Oscar de la Renta). But as André made friends, he also made enemies. A racially tinged encounter with a member of the house of Yves Saint Laurent sent him back to New York and into the offices of Vogue under Grace Mirabella. There, he eventually became creative director, developing an unlikely but intimate friendship with Anna Wintour. As she rose to the top of Vogue’s masthead, André also ascended, and soon became the most influential man in fashion. The Chiffon Trenches offers a candid look at the who’s who of the last fifty years of fashion. At once ruthless and empathetic, this engaging memoir tells with raw honesty the story of how André not only survived the brutal style landscape but thrived—despite racism, illicit rumors, and all the other challenges of this notoriously cutthroat industry—to become one of the most renowned voices and faces in fashion. Woven throughout the book are also André’s own personal struggles that impacted him over the decades, along with intimate stories of those he turned to for inspiration (Diana Vreeland, Diane von Fürstenberg, Lee Radziwill, to name a few), and of course his Southern roots and faith, which guided him since childhood. The result is a highly compelling read that captures the essence of a world few of us will ever have real access to, but one that we all want to know oh so much more about.


The Echoing Ida Collection

The Echoing Ida Collection

Author: Cynthia R. Greenlee

Publisher: Feminist Press at CUNY

Published: 2021-01-12

Total Pages: 364

ISBN-13: 155861284X

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

"Founded in 2012, Echoing Ida is a writing collective of Black women and nonbinary writers who-like their foremother Ida B. Wells-Barnett-believe the "way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them." Their community reporting spans a wide variety of topics: reproductive justice and abortion politics; new and necessary definitions of family; trans visibility; stigma against Black motherhood; Black mental health; and more. The Echoing Ida Collection gathers the best of Echoing Ida for the first time, and features a foreword by Michelle Duster, activist and great-granddaughter of Ida B. Wells-Barnett"--


Don't Let It Get You Down

Don't Let It Get You Down

Author: Savala Nolan

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2022-07-19

Total Pages: 208

ISBN-13: 1982137282

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

"An incisive and vulnerable yet powerful and provocative collection of essays, Savala offers poignant reflections on living between society's most charged, politicized, and intractably polar spaces: between black and white, between rich and poor, between thin and fat - as a woman. The daughter of an Afro-Latinx father and a white mother, Savala's light complexion has always contrast her kinky hair and broad nose to embody what old folks used to call "a whole lot of yellow wasted." With her mother's beckoning, she began her first diet at the age of three and has been nearly skeletal and truly fat, multiple times. She has lived in poverty and had an elite education, with regular access to wealth and privilege. She has been in the in between. It is these liminal spaces - the living in the in-between of race, class and body type that gives the essays in Nearly, Not Quite their strikingly clear and refreshing point of view on the defining tension points in our culture. Each of the twelve essays, that comprises this collection are rife with unforgettable and insightful anecdotes, and are as humorous and as full of Savala's appetites as they are of anxieties. The result is a lyrical and magnetic read. In "On Dating White Guys While Me," Savala realizes her early romantic pursuits of rich, preppy white guys wasn't about preference, but about self-erasure. In "Don't Let it Get You Down" we traverse the beauty and pain of being Black in America as men of color face police brutality and "large Black females" are ignored in hospital waiting rooms. Savala offers an angle to inequities that is as deft as it is lyrical. In "Bad Education" we mine how women learn to internalize violence and rage in hopes of truly having power. And in "To Wit and Also" we meet Filliss, Peggy, and Grace the enslaved women owned by her ancestors, reckoning with how America's original sin lives intimately within our stories. Over and over again, Savala reminds readers that our true identities are often most authentically lived not in the black and white in the grey, in the in-between. Perfect for fans of Heavy by Kiese Laymon and Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay, this book delivers a fresh perspective on race, class, bodies, and gender, that is both an entertaining and engaging addition to the ongoing social and cultural conversation"--


Bitterroot

Bitterroot

Author: Susan Devan Harness

Publisher: University of Nebraska Press

Published: 2020-03-01

Total Pages: 355

ISBN-13: 1496219570

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

2019 High Plains Book Award (Creative Nonfiction and Indigenous Writer categories) 2021 Barbara Sudler Award from History Colorado In Bitterroot Susan Devan Harness traces her journey to understand the complexities and struggles of being an American Indian child adopted by a white couple and living in the rural American West. When Harness was fifteen years old, she questioned her adoptive father about her “real” parents. He replied that they had died in a car accident not long after she was born—except they hadn’t, as Harness would learn in a conversation with a social worker a few years later. Harness’s search for answers revolved around her need to ascertain why she was the target of racist remarks and why she seemed always to be on the outside looking in. New questions followed her through college and into her twenties when she started her own family. Meeting her biological family in her early thirties generated even more questions. In her forties Harness decided to get serious about finding answers when, conducting oral histories, she talked with other transracial adoptees. In her fifties she realized that the concept of “home” she had attributed to the reservation existed only in her imagination. Making sense of her family, the American Indian history of assimilation, and the very real—but culturally constructed—concept of race helped Harness answer the often puzzling questions of stereotypes, a sense of nonbelonging, the meaning of family, and the importance of forgiveness and self-acceptance. In the process Bitterroot also provides a deep and rich context in which to experience life.


As You Were

As You Were

Author: David Tromblay

Publisher:

Published: 2021-02-16

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 9781950539222

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

A hypnotic, brutal, and unstoppable coming-of-age story echoing from within the aftershocks set off by the American Indian boarding schools of generations past, fanned by the flames of nearly fifteen years of service in the Armed Forces, exposing a series of inescapable prisons and the invisible scars of attempted erasure. When he learns his father is dying, David Tromblay ponders what will become of the monster's legacy and picks up a pen to set the story straight. In sharp and unflinching prose, he recounts his childhood bouncing between his father, who wrestles with anger, alcoholism, and a traumatic brain injury; his grandmother, who survived Indian boarding schools but mistook the corporal punishment she endured for proper child-rearing; and his mother, a part-time waitress, dancer, and locksmith, who hides from David's father in church basements and the folded-down back seat of her car until winter forces her to abandon her son on his grandmother's doorstep. For twelve years, he is beaten, burned, humiliated, locked in closets, lied to, molested, seen and not heard, until his talent for brutal violence meets and exceeds his father's, granting him an escape. Years later, David confronts the compounded traumas of his childhood, searching for the domino that fell and forced his family into the cycle of brutality and denial of their own identity.


Upper Cut

Upper Cut

Author: Carrie White

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2015-12-15

Total Pages: 432

ISBN-13: 1501142577

DOWNLOAD EBOOK

Shampoo meets You'll Never Eat Lunch In This Town Again in a rollicking and riveting memoir from the woman who for decades styled Hollywood's most celebrated players. I was living a hairdresser’s dream. I was making my mark in this all-male field. My appointment book was filled with more and more celebrities. And I was becoming competition for my heroes... Behind the scenes of every Hollywood photo shoot, TV appearance, and party in the ’60s, ’70s, and ’80s, there was Carrie White. As the “First Lady of Hairdressing,” Carrie collaborated with Richard Avedon on shoots for Vogue, partied with Jim Morrison, gave Sharon Tate her California signature style, and got high with Jimi Hendrix. She has counted Jennifer Jones, Betsy Bloomingdale, Elizabeth Taylor, Goldie Hawn, and Camille Cosby among her favorite clients. But behind the glamorous facade, Carrie’s world was in perpetual disarray and always had been. After her father abandoned the family when she was still a child, she was sexually abused by her domineering stepfather, and her alcoholic mother was unstable and unreliable. Carrie was sipping cocktails before her tenth birthday, and had had five children and three husbands before her twenty-eighth. She fueled the frenetic pace of her professional life with a steady diet of champagne and vodka, diet pills, cocaine, and heroin, until she eventually lost her home, her car, her career—and nearly her children. But she battled her way back, getting sober, rebuilding her relationships and her reputation as a hairdresser, and the name Carrie White was back on the door of one of Beverly Hills’s most respected salons. An unflinching portrayal of addiction and recovery, Upper Cut proves that even in Hollywood, sometimes you have to fight for a happy ending.