Santa Claus Heard a Fart
Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
Published: 2020-09-08
Total Pages: 32
ISBN-13: 9780008357955
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Author: Olaf Falafel
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
Published: 2020-09-08
Total Pages: 32
ISBN-13: 9780008357955
DOWNLOAD EBOOKAuthor: Cornelia Funke
Publisher: Scholastic Inc.
Published: 2011-10-01
Total Pages: 182
ISBN-13: 054541511X
DOWNLOAD EBOOKA crash-landing puts Christmas in peril in this quirky, funny, and heartwarming holiday classic from the New York Times–bestselling author of Inkheart. Scared by a storm, Twinklestar, the least reliable reindeer, bolts—causing Santa and his sleigh to crash-land. And though Santa has dropped into a friendly neighborhood, he’s not safe: Jeremiah Goblynch, the ruthless new leader of the Council of Yuleland, is determined to put an end to children’s wishes and turn the holiday season into his own personal moneymaking scheme. As the last REAL St. Nick around, only Santa stands between Goblynch and his grinchlike plan. With the help and hope of kids Charlotte and Ben, Santa must face Goblynch and his Nutcracker goons to save Christmas! “Wonderfully imaginative details, adventure, danger, and a brave young Santa who fights to preserve all that is magical and special about Christmas make this a perfect read over a mug of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night.” —School Library Journal “The humor, plus some unusual character types, sets this apart from the general run of holiday tales.” —Kirkus Reviews
Author: Sal Lizard
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2012-11-08
Total Pages: 170
ISBN-13: 1101600527
DOWNLOAD EBOOKA veteran Santa reveals heartwarming true stories and lessons from his twenty-year career spreading Christmas magic. With the holiday shopping season beginning earlier each year, more than ever. Americans are struggling to remember the true meaning of Christmas. And who better to deliver the gift of Christmas inspiration than a man who has spent the last two decades playing Santa? Sal Lizard was in his twenties when his beard and hair turned completely white. Today he appears everywhere from malls and parades to schools and hospitals. And— from his custom-made red velvet suits to the mistletoe that hangs from the rearview mirror in his Santa-mobile—he is Santa Claus three hundred and sixty-five days a year. In Being Santa Claus Sal reflects on his experiences with both children and adults including: Christmas magic is all around us: We don’t always see it, but it is there, shaping and enriching our lives. Sometimes you need to go that extra mile:Santa Claus is the one person who can’t even use a blizzard as an excuse not to honor his commitments, and Sal teaches adults the importance of always showing up for our children. Even a small child can make a big difference: Sal has met some impressive children over the years, and he’s learned that you don’t need to be a grown-up to make an impact on the world around you. In Being Santa Claus Sal shares these lessons, along with often heartwarming, occasionally heartbreaking, and sometimes downright hysterical stories from his twenty-year career as Santa.
Author: Derek Landy
Publisher: HarperCollins Children's Books
Published: 2017-04-06
Total Pages: 32
ISBN-13: 9780008242794
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"Old Macdonald heard a fart ... E-I-E-I-O!" There are some VERY rude noises coming from Old Macdonald's farm - who could be responsible?! Sing along to this side-splitting picture book adaptation of everyone's favourite nursery rhyme.
Author: Humor Heals Us
Publisher: Humor Heals Us
Published: 2020-09-24
Total Pages: 36
ISBN-13: 9781953399175
DOWNLOAD EBOOKLeading up to the BIG day, Santa must choose his Christmas crew. Fritz the Reindeer is one of the contenders but he has a small problem: He has gas. Will Fritz make the team? Join Fritz in a new Christmas adventure that will be cherished for years to come. A children's beloved classic, this story will have kids rolling on the floor with laughter. Adults are permitted to laugh too. Vote on new title names and receive freebies at humorhealsus.com.
Author: Howard Stern
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
Published: 2019-05-14
Total Pages: 560
ISBN-13: 1501194291
DOWNLOAD EBOOKPresents the first book in more than twenty years from the self-proclaimed King of All Media.
Author: Kaye Gibbons
Publisher: Algonquin Books
Published: 2012-10-17
Total Pages: 165
ISBN-13: 1616203080
DOWNLOAD EBOOK"Filled with lively humor, compassion, and intimacy." —Alice Hoffman, The New York Times Book Review "When I was little I would think of ways to kill my daddy." With that opening sentence we enter the childhood world of one of the most appealing young heroines in contemporary fiction. Her courage, her humor, and her wisdom are unforgettable as she tells her own story with stunning honesty and insight. An Oprah Book Club selection, this powerful novel has become an American classic. Winner of the American Academy of Arts and Letters' Sue Kaufman Prize for First Fiction and the Ernest Hemingway Foundation's Citation for Fiction.
Author: Frederick Douglas Harper
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
Published: 2017-03-25
Total Pages: 322
ISBN-13: 1524592560
DOWNLOAD EBOOKIjamama Speaks is a hilarious satire. Ijamama is a woman from the urban Hood who is accidentally discovered by a feminist magazine, Hot Heifer, after she stood up to a sexist law that allowed men to be topless in public but not women. A published interview of Ijamama in Hot Heifer magazine leads to her cohosting a feminist, late-night TV show, and eventually getting her own late-night TV show, The Ijamama Tell-It-Like-It-Is Midnight Show, targeted to urban blacks, college students, and working-class women. Although very funny, Ijamama Speaks presents meaningful lessons about rightful living and quality living through dialogues of host Ijamama with her diverse TV guests. Some of her guests include Celibate Dude, Lead Belly, Benevolent Angel, Smart-Ass White Boy, Dr. Fartenstein, PumpDaddy, Spiritual Teacher, Bootylicious Queens, Preacher-Teacher, Little Red Rapper from da Hood, and HoneyBaby.
Author: Todd Graham
Publisher: iUniverse
Published: 2018-12-01
Total Pages: 424
ISBN-13: 1532061056
DOWNLOAD EBOOKChristmas has been under attack for years, thanks to the evil Ice Queen and her mother, Emma Frostbite, the Empress of the North. With the power of a troll army and Nutcracker war machine behind them, the Queen and her mother have now set their sights on the last remaining Christmas stronghold, the twin cities of Feliz and Navidad. Now that Christmas bells, songs, and the spirit have been taken away for good, this just may be the end of Christmas in the world. Sixteen-year-old orphan Nicholas Claus isn’t about to let this happen. Fueled by an indomitable Christmas spirit, Nicholas embarks on a quest to seek help from a mysterious woman called Christmas Carol, stop the Ice Queen, and hopefully restore Christmas to its ultimate glory. While following clues hidden in a special snow globe, he is joined by allies as they attempt to find Christmas Carol and battle forces bent on destroying the holiday. As Nicholas and his friends set out on a hero’s mission to Tannenbaum, Feliz, Navidad, and the North Pole, he has no idea that his journey is about to lead him to receive the best Christmas gift ever. Santa Claus: The First Noel continues the tale of a young man’s quest to save Christmas from the destructive claws of an evil Ice Queen and her frosty mother.
Author: David Zimmerman
Publisher: Soho Press
Published: 2012-04-03
Total Pages: 273
ISBN-13: 156947978X
DOWNLOAD EBOOKFifteen-year-old Lynn Marie Sugrue is doing her best to make it through a difficult summer. Her mother works long hours as a nurse, and Lynn suspects that her mother’s pill-popping boyfriend has enlisted her in his petty criminal enterprises. Lynn finds refuge in online flirtations, eventually meeting up with a troubled young soldier, Logan Loy, and inviting him home. When he’s forced to stay over in a storage space accessible through her closet, and the Army subsequently lists him as AWOL, she realizes that he’s the one thing in her life that she can control. Meanwhile, her mother’s boyfriend is on the receiving end of a series of increasingly violent threats, which places Lynn squarely in the cross-hairs.