Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay

Scared to Leave, Afraid to Stay

Author: Barry Goldstein

Publisher: Robert Reed Publishers

Published: 2002

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781931741088

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Presents the stories of ten women who fought the courts and their abusers to gain safety for themselves and their children.


I Am Not Your Victim

I Am Not Your Victim

Author: Bethel Sipe

Publisher: SAGE Publications

Published: 1996-05-20

Total Pages: 327

ISBN-13: 1452263337

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Detailing the domestic violence suffered by the first author during her 16 year marriage, this moving volume details the background and events leading up to and immediately following Beth Sipe's tragic act of desperation: ending the life of the perpetrator. Encouraged to publish her story by her therapist and co-author, Evelyn Hall, Sipe relates how her case was mishandled by the police, the military, a mental health professional and the welfare system, illustrating how women like herself are further victimized and neglected by the very systems that are expected to provide assistance. Her story is followed by seven commentaries by experts in the field. They discuss the causes and process of spousal abuse, reasons why battered women stay, and the dynamic consequences of domestic violence.


Crazy Love

Crazy Love

Author: Leslie Morgan Steiner

Publisher: Macmillan + ORM

Published: 2009-03-31

Total Pages: 202

ISBN-13: 142996233X

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The New York Times bestseller: “[A] brutally honest memoir of a brave, smart, fresh-faced young woman’s descent into domestic hell.” —Monica Holloway, author of Driving with Dead People At 22, Leslie Morgan Steiner seemed to have it all: a Harvard diploma, a glamorous job at Seventeen magazine, a downtown New York City apartment. Plus a handsome, funny, street-smart boyfriend who adored her. But behind her façade of success, this golden girl hid a dark secret. She’d made a mistake shared by millions: she fell in love with the wrong person. At first Leslie and Conor seemed as perfect together as their fairy-tale wedding. Then came the fights she tried to ignore: he pushed her down the stairs of the house they bought together, poured coffee grinds over her hair as she dressed for a critical job interview, choked her during an argument, and threatened her with a gun. Several times, he came close to making good on his threat to kill her. With each attack, Leslie lost another piece of herself. Gripping and utterly compelling, Crazy Love takes you inside the violent, devastating world of abusive love. Conor said he’d been abused since he was a young boy, and love and rage danced intimately together in his psyche. Why didn’t Leslie leave? She stayed because she loved him. Find out for yourself if she had fallen truly in love—or into a psychological trap. Crazy Love will draw you in—and never let go. “Compulsively readable.” —People “A must read for anyone in a consuming relationship.” —Iris Krasnow, New York Times–bestselling author


The Quincy Solution

The Quincy Solution

Author: Barry Goldstein

Publisher: Robert Reed Publishers

Published: 2014

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781934759868

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Would you like to share a $500 billion reward? It might sound too good to be true, but this is the benefit to society of adopting the Quincy Solution with its proven practices to dramatically reduce domestic violence crime. Barry Goldstein has spent his career working to prevent abuse so he knew how to synthesize history and research about practices that stop domestic violence with medical research about the enormous health impact from stress related to domestic violence and child abuse. Barry started by reviewing the successful practices in Quincy, San Diego, and Nashville. Domestic violence is not inevitable, and it is not surprising it can be prevented with a group of best practices. He updated the proven practices with new research, technology, and inclusion of the custody courts. The primary obstacle was inertia and money. Then the ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) research established that children exposed to domestic violence, child abuse, and other traumas suffer more illnesses and injuries throughout their lives. We can reduce societal problems like cancer, heart disease, substance abuse, and crime--and dramatically improve our economy. This is the Quincy Solution. Domestic violence is not inevitable. The Quincy Solution is based on successful practices in Quincy, Nashville, and San Diego so we know it works. The $500 billion in annual savings from the Quincy Solution comes from prevention of illnesses and injuries, reduced crime, and victims reaching their economic potential. The Quincy Solution is more than an absence of abuse. Women and children will be safe in their homes and free to reach their potential. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Barry Goldstein has dedicated his career to stopping men's violence against women and preventing the mental, emotional and physical trauma it inflicts on their children. A passionate and sought-after speaker, Barry's the author of four other books on domestic violence. "I can't help but think of all the courageous women who died and all the anguished faces of the children they left behind -- who might have been saved by this book." Rita Smith, Former Executive Director, National Coalition Against Domestic Violence "Barry Goldstein compiles shocking data showing how our legal system enables violence against women and children. Buy this book." Wendy Murphy, New England Law Boston, Author "And Justice For Some" "Domestic violence can be stopped. This book proves it." Andrew Willis, Survivor, Founder Stop Abuse Campaign "Barry Goldstein has eloquently captured the crisis that is domestic violence in America today, but his real gift is that of hope." Sarah Buel, Survivor, Advocate, Law Professor and former Quincy Prosecutor "A must-read for advocates, police officers, lawyers, judges and anyone who cares about saving the lives of domestic violence victims." Lt. Mark Wynn (ret), Nashville PD "A long-awaited, desperately-needed gift to battered women and their children. This plan could become the Holy Grail of custody litigation." Mo Therese Hannah, PhD, Chair of the Battered Mothers Custody Conference "Preventing domestic violence can interrupt the cycle of violence that harms children, families and communities. It's critical to use science to demonstrate what works, then move from science to practice." Linda C. Degutis, DrPH, MSN, Former Director, NationalCenter for Injury Prevention and Control, CDC "Shocked to learn the courts don't already make the health and safety of children priority one when deciding custody and visitation." Kelly Rutherford Actress Sales of this book support the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Stop Abuse Campaign's implementation of the Quincy Model.


The Batterer as Parent

The Batterer as Parent

Author: Lundy Bancroft

Publisher: SAGE

Published: 2012

Total Pages: 347

ISBN-13: 1412972051

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Moving beyond the narrow clinical perspective sometimes applied to viewing the emotional and developmental risks to battered children, this book, offers a view that takes into account the complex ways in which a batterer's abusive and controlling behaviors are woven into the fabric of daily life. This book is a guide for therapists, child protective workers, family and juvenile court personnel, and other human service providers in addressing the complex impact that batterers -- specifically, male batterers of a domestic partner when there are children in the household -- have on family functioning.


Safety Planning with Battered Women

Safety Planning with Battered Women

Author: Jill M. Davies

Publisher: SAGE

Published: 1998

Total Pages: 218

ISBN-13: 9780761912255

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Safety Planning with Battered Women introduces a new model of ôwoman-definedö advocacy that is designed to bridge the gap that sometimes occurs between a battered womanÆs perspective and a victim advocateÆs perception. Created to improve service delivery to women who are victims of domestic violence, this new model emphasizes placing attention on the victimÆs assessment of the risk in a violent relationship and in her decision making. Authors Jill Davies, Eleanor Lyon, and Diane Monti-Catania strive to help advocates better understand battered womenÆs decisions, including the decision to remain in an abusive relationship; to improve advocacy for victims with varying cultural backgrounds and experiences; and to provide advocates with assistance in redesigning their services, so they may better meet the needs of battered women. Since there are no quick fixes to the problems encountered in cases of domestic violence, it is vital that victims be provided with a real understanding of their options and the opportunity to implement those safety plans they deem most feasible. Safety Planning with Battered Women helps advocates tailor alternatives that will enhance the safety of battered women based on the individual realities of battered women. This book is both enlightening and highly practical and is a must read for anyone working with domestic violence victims. By introducing a woman-defined model and offering a new approach to advocacy, Safety Planning with Battered Women will compel readers to reexamine current approaches and examine the future provision of services to domestic violence victims, making it a valuable resource for students, researchers, academics, professionals, and practitioners.


No Visible Bruises

No Visible Bruises

Author: Rachel Louise Snyder

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2019-05-07

Total Pages: 337

ISBN-13: 1635570999

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WINNER OF THE HILLMAN PRIZE FOR BOOK JOURNALISM, THE HELEN BERNSTEIN BOOK AWARD, AND THE LUKAS WORK-IN-PROGRESS AWARD * A NEW YORK TIMES TOP 10 BOOKS OF THE YEAR * NATIONAL BOOK CRITICS CIRCLE AWARD FINALIST * LOS ANGELES TIMES BOOK PRIZE FINALIST * ABA SILVER GAVEL AWARD FINALIST * KIRKUS PRIZE FINALIST NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF 2019 BY: Esquire, Amazon, Kirkus, Library Journal, Publishers Weekly, BookPage, BookRiot, Economist, New York Times Staff Critics “A seminal and breathtaking account of why home is the most dangerous place to be a woman . . . A tour de force.” -Eve Ensler "Terrifying, courageous reportage from our internal war zone." -Andrew Solomon "Extraordinary." -New York Times ,“Editors' Choice” “Gut-wrenching, required reading.” -Esquire "Compulsively readable . . . It will save lives." -Washington Post “Essential, devastating reading.” -Cheryl Strayed, New York Times Book Review An award-winning journalist's intimate investigation of the true scope of domestic violence, revealing how the roots of America's most pressing social crises are buried in abuse that happens behind closed doors. We call it domestic violence. We call it private violence. Sometimes we call it intimate terrorism. But whatever we call it, we generally do not believe it has anything at all to do with us, despite the World Health Organization deeming it a “global epidemic.” In America, domestic violence accounts for 15 percent of all violent crime, and yet it remains locked in silence, even as its tendrils reach unseen into so many of our most pressing national issues, from our economy to our education system, from mass shootings to mass incarceration to #MeToo. We still have not taken the true measure of this problem. In No Visible Bruises, journalist Rachel Louise Snyder gives context for what we don't know we're seeing. She frames this urgent and immersive account of the scale of domestic violence in our country around key stories that explode the common myths-that if things were bad enough, victims would just leave; that a violent person cannot become nonviolent; that shelter is an adequate response; and most insidiously that violence inside the home is a private matter, sealed from the public sphere and disconnected from other forms of violence. Through the stories of victims, perpetrators, law enforcement, and reform movements from across the country, Snyder explores the real roots of private violence, its far-reaching consequences for society, and what it will take to truly address it.


How He Wins

How He Wins

Author: Don Hennessy

Publisher: Liberties Press

Published: 2020-11-15

Total Pages: 287

ISBN-13: 1912589184

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The World Health Organisation has described the global increase in incidences of domestic abuse due to lockdowns and isolation as a shadow pandemic. Dr Hans Henri P. Kluge, the WHO Regional Director for Europe, has warned that the world could see 31 million cases of gender-based violence if nothing is done, and has called for more action to be taken. This stark warning is an indictment of our failure, in Europe and elsewhere, to reduce the level of male intimate abuse, in spite of the extraordinary energy and dedication of thousands of practitioners and academics. In this challenging book, Don Hennessy examines our practices and procedures, our attitudes and our beliefs, in relation to coercive control. He demonstrates how we have made few inroads in this area – either into the prevalence of male intimate abuse, or in relation to the tactics that support the ability of the male intimate abuser to establish and maintain his control. It is vital that all agencies, both statutory and non-governmental, recognise that we need to change our position from one of support to one of protection. The protection that Hennessy promotes is not that of the physical refuge alone, but the mental safeguard which will allow each target-woman to follow her own intuition. How He Wins, by the best-selling author of Steps to Freedom, focuses in particular on the impact of abuse on the target-woman's family members, and features numerous powerful personal stories. It is essential reading for any woman who has been the target of domestic abuse and has found herself abandoned by the community.


The Black Woman's Guide to Overcoming Domestic Violence

The Black Woman's Guide to Overcoming Domestic Violence

Author: Shavonne J. Moore-Lobban

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2022-06-01

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 1684039363

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Your journey to healing and wholeness after domestic violence begins here. Domestic violence is about power and control. As a Black woman and a survivor of domestic violence, you have had your power taken away from you against your will. You are not alone, and there are tools you can use to feel whole and in control of your life again. Written by two psychologists and experts in BIPOC mental health, this book will show you how to start healing—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Grounded in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), this compassionate book addresses the unique struggles faced by Black women who have experienced domestic violence. You’ll find practical and empowering skills to help you understand and heal from trauma, leave harmful situations, and regain a sense of safety and freedom. You’ll also learn how to build a safety net, trust yourself—and others—again, and let go of the shame and guilt resulting from your experience. Finally, you’ll discover ways to reclaim your self-worth, set boundaries in your relationships, and make room for self-care in your day-to-day life. If you’re ready to leave—or have already left—an abusive situation, this book can help you heal from the trauma of domestic violence and discover personal freedom in mind, body, and spirit.