Pregnancy Sucks For Men

Pregnancy Sucks For Men

Author: Joanne Kimes

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2004-10-07

Total Pages: 196

ISBN-13: 1440500843

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Sleep on the couch to make room for her gigantic pregnancy pillow Pass up tickets to the game since you'd "rather" register for the baby shower Haven't had sex since there was snow on the ground (and it's July) It may not make you sound like future father of the year, but there's one thing men everywhere can agree on: Pregnancy Sucks—for you. In this complete update of the bestselling first edition, Joanne and Jeff Kimes pair no-holds-barred humor with helpful advice to make sure you actually live to see the birth of your child. So whether you're sick of putting your foot in your mouth when you're trying to compliment her, you want the real scoop on what's going to go down in the delivery room (without the hospital-issued video), or you really just want a laugh (since you "volunteered" to give up drinking for the interminable nine months of her pregnancy), this book will tell you exactly what to do when that miracle of yours is making you totally, completely, just-cut-the-freakin'-cord-already! miserable.


Pregnancy Sucks

Pregnancy Sucks

Author: Joanne Kimes

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2003-11-01

Total Pages: 205

ISBN-13: 1440501955

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Pregnancy Sucks, by Joanne Kimes and Sanford A. Tisherman, M.D., gives you real solutions to all the annoying and somewhat awkward situations that can unexpectedly arise during your pregnancy. Did you know that: Farm-fresh butter, or petroleum jelly, works just as well for your itchy belly as a fancy and overpriced "pregnancy" product? If you're put on bedrest, walkie-talkies will allow you to yell at your husband-no matter where he is in the house! Surrounding yourself with regular pillows (don't forget to swipe your husband's) is just as good as buying a special large "pregnancy pillow"-and more adaptable to giving support where you personally need it? Doing the hokey pokey, or taking a warm shower, can ease Braxton Hicks contractions? Full of insight, hilarity, and practical solutions on every page, Pregnancy Sucks shows how, through it all, you can survive with your health, dignity, and sanity intact!


The Pregnancy Countdown Book

The Pregnancy Countdown Book

Author: Susan Magee

Publisher: Quirk Books

Published: 2011-05-18

Total Pages: 300

ISBN-13: 1594745668

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Expecting moms can count down the 280 days of their pregnancy with this delightful companion—complete with wise and witty advice and anecdotes from doctors, midwives, and other moms The average pregnancy lasts 280 days—and the suspense can be excruciating! The Pregnancy Countdown Book counts down the biggest milestones every step of the way, with one page of helpful information for each day of your pregnancy. Here are tips from doctors and mothers, amusing anecdotes and quotes, and all of the uncensored details that other books won’t tell you. 231 Days to Go: Your baby is now the size of a small blueberry. 209 Days to Go: Your baby's heartbeat is now audible. 124 Days to Go: Doctors recommend that you stop sleeping on your back. 91 Days to Go: The window for air travel is closing fast, so take that final vacation. 45 Days to Go: Better get started on that nursery. The perfect gift for expecting moms of all ages, The Pregnancy Countdown Book is a delightfully irreverent look at the craziest nine months of your life.


To Pee or Not to Pee

To Pee or Not to Pee

Author: Pearl Chance Todreeme

Publisher: Ulysses Press

Published: 2020-08-11

Total Pages: 144

ISBN-13: 1646040317

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Give your pregnancy brain a break with this ultimate collection of funny activities, entertaining games, and surprising trivia all about the joys of growing a human just above your bladder—a perfect baby shower gift for moms-to-be! Being pregnant is a miracle and a gift, but let’s be real, sometimes it just plain sucks. Take a seat and give yourself (and your swollen feet) a break with the coloring pages, crosswords, word tumbles, mazes, journal prompts, and much more inside the charming, hilarious, and utterly irreverent activity book written specifically for expectant mothers. Inside, you’ll find activities like: - Morning sickness word searches - Mazes for avoiding the strangers in the grocery store who want to touch your belly - BYO terrible pregnancy advice - Personalized Mad Libs - Stress-busting coloring fun - And more. . . Whether you’re looking for yourself or for the perfect baby shower gift, there’s something for every preggo mom-to-be in this snarky, sassy, and (surprisingly) informative adult activity book.


The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy

The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy

Author: Dawn Dais

Publisher: Seal Press

Published: 2017-11-07

Total Pages: 220

ISBN-13: 1580056342

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The fourth book in Dawn Dais's popular Sh!t No One Tells You series offers honest and “laugh out loud” (Parents) advice for expectant parents Pregnancy is about more than scanning Pinterest for baby shower themes and registering for ironic onesies. Sometimes, the less flattering aspects of gestation can dim a bit of that so-called pregnancy glow. Not to worry! Dawn Dais is here, ready to shepherd readers through the experience of one human body taking on the task of growing another human body. (Spoiler alert: It’s not always pretty.) Dawn covers it all, sharing expert lists, tips, warnings, and even a series of Parent-Training Workouts designed to increase readers' tolerance to the various indignities of parenthood, like peeing with an audience and surviving an afternoon in Chuck E. Cheese. The Sh!t No One Tells You About Pregnancy is a must-have guide for expectant moms (and their partners!) who are looking for some counsel, comedy, and camaraderie during their ultimate countdown to parenthood.


The Morning Sickness Companion

The Morning Sickness Companion

Author: Elizabeth Kaledin

Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin

Published: 2014-09-30

Total Pages: 150

ISBN-13: 1466882565

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It's frustrating and a nuisance--and it can be a major obstacle to experiencing the joy of pregnancy. But morning sickness doesn't always strike in the morning, and for many women it doesn't even strike--it's an ever-present part of their pregnancy, with symptoms ranging from mild nausea and exhaustion to crippling depression and physical illness. We all know the standard suggestions--crackers and tea, Jell-O and ginger ale--but when they don't seem like enough, what can women really do to manage their symptoms and recover the happiness their pregnancy should bring? As debilitating as morning sickness is, we don't hear much about it. But finally, just when it seems as though there's nothing out there, women have somewhere to turn. Elizabeth Kaledin's The Morning Sickness Companion is a book by and for women suffering morning sickness. Morning sickness is a reality of pregnancy--many women are affected--and this book is dedicated to them. It fills a major void in pregnancy literature, providing a brief history of morning sickness, all the latest scientific thinking, research on its emotional toll, and lots of reassuring tips and advice from other women about what they ate, how sick they really were, sources of relief, and how to survive, since the fact is it is nearly inevitable. Engaging, warm, often funny, and always informative, The Morning Sickness Companion offers women who are suffering the wisdom and comfort they really need.


Planning Your Wedding Sucks

Planning Your Wedding Sucks

Author: Joanne Kimes

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2010-11-18

Total Pages: 158

ISBN-13: 1440509107

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Bling. Flowers. Tulle. The three things that every little girl dreams of when she pictures her wedding day. What she doesn't consider is the stuff of nightmares: Overdrawn checking accounts. Drunk relatives. The seating chart that looks like a road map. In this book, Joanne Kimes and Elena Donovan Mauer expose the tedious (and often traumatic) tasks that really go into pulling off a wedding. From dealing with overbearing mothers-in-law and making time for their lovable, but clueless, fiancés to suffering through endless alterations and meetings with the con artists known as "vendors," there's a lot that you need to know. After all, a wedding is supposed to be something you look forward to—not something you have to endure before the honeymoon! Armed with Kimes' trademark, no-holds-barred humor, Donovan Mauer's bridal industry know-how, and copious amounts of wine, you'll get through the stress of planning your weddings with style, humor, and grace. Or, at the very least, without beating members of the wedding party with that $500 bouquet.


Menopause Sucks

Menopause Sucks

Author: Joanne Kimes

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2008-06-01

Total Pages: 199

ISBN-13: 1440515042

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Do they call menopause "the change" because... You have to change shirts three times a day-after you've sweat through them? You have to change addresses, just to avoid all that mail from the AARP? You have to change your diet to nothing but milk and broccoli—just to get your RDA of calcium? With hot flashes, mood swings, and night sweats (oh, my!), menopause might not be your favorite phase of life. However, bestselling author Joanne Kimes is here to provide relief as welcome as hand-held fans and sweat-free sheets. In her signature, no-holds-barred style, Kimes dishes on: Dealing with a rollercoaster of emotions Anecdotes, remedies, and gentle tips to help you cope with all the physical changes you're facing How to enjoy menopausal sex Menopause brings about a whirlwind of emotional and physical transformations. Menopause Sucks gives you all the info—and belly laughs—you need to cool down during this hot change of life.