The new edition of this highly-regarded book includes comprehensive discussion of the nature of an affair and the five types of affairs and their underlying dynamics. The author addresses issues regarding revealing the affair, management of the consequences, rebuilding, and treating an unmarried third party, as well as the host of complex issues regarding children and custody arrangements. New material for the second edition includes cybersex and the effects of new technology on fidelity in marriage; the effects of managed care on treatment; marriage to the third party; and a new chapter on affairs and violence.
The new edition of this highly-regarded book includes comprehensive discussion of the nature of an affair and the five types of affairs and their underlying dynamics. The author addresses issues regarding revealing the affair, management of the consequences, rebuilding, and treating an unmarried third party, as well as the host of complex issues regarding children and custody arrangements. New material for the second edition includes cybersex and the effects of new technology on fidelity in marriage; the effects of managed care on treatment; marriage to the third party; and a new chapter on affairs and violence.
When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other, it takes a lot of work by both parties involved to salvage the relationship. In today’s therapy-friendly climate, marriage/couples counseling is often a part of that rebuilding process. Many couples seek out professional therapy after an affair is out in the open, but often the act of infidelity is revealed while uncovering and discussing unrelated issues for which the couple is in counseling. And yet, amazingly, as common as this complex and difficult topic arises in therapy, there is relatively little professional literature devoted to understanding and "treating" infidelity. In this volume, Paul Peluso has assembled a truly impressive list of contributors from a range of disciplines and backgrounds, including marital therapy, family therapy, evolutionary psychology, marriage research, and cyberstudies, with the aim of filling this void.
A Wonderfully Supportive Guide from an Internationally Recognized Authority on Affairs "Emily Brown has written a must-read book for anyone going through the searing pain of infidelity. First she deciphers the five types of affairs, then she gives clear step-by-step procedures to help both partners deal with it and even grow from it. It's a real achievement." —Marguerite Kelly, syndicated columnist, The Family Almanac and author, Marguerite Kelly's Family Almanac "Finally, a book on affairs that pulls no punches!. . . . It's the book I'll put at the top of my list to recommend to both professionals and to husbands, wives, and lovers. Highly recommended." —Isolina Ricci, author, Mom's House, Dad's House: The Complete Guide for Parents Who Are Separated, Divorced, or Remarried
Help your clients’ relationships survive infidelity! In the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, a panel of seasoned experts reflects on issues central to affairs, and on how to help couples heal and learn from them. First, editors Fred P. Piercy, Katherine M. Hertlein, and Joseph L. Wetchler provide an essential overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. They discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelity—emotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. They review the relatively new role of the Internet in infidelity and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, they discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment. Also in the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity: Susan M. Johnson, the co-developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), discusses affairs through the lens of attachment theory, and shows how EFT provides a way to acknowledge and express pain, remorse, and regret, and to repair this attachment bond. David Moultrup takes a Bowenian approach to infidelity, focusing attention on the underlying dynamics of the emotional system Frank Pittman and Tina Pittman Wagers outline cultural myths about affairs and do their share of debunking Adrian Blow discusses how to help couples directly address their pain—and the challenges of the healing process Brian Case highlights the role of apology and forgiveness in the healing process Frank Stalfa and Catherine Hastings focus on the treatment of “accusatory suffering”—a spouse’s obsessive holding onto and retaliating for an affair long after it has ended, and despite the offending partner’s repeated apologies and attempts at restitution Don-David Lusterman discusses individuals who have suppressed or denied traumatic stress reactions to their partner’s affair, and how to help them Scott Johnson discusses myths about affairs, from who is cheating on whom, to whether men really have more affairs than women, to the blame-filled language of “affairs,” “betrayal,” and “infidelity,” asking us to think more systematically about affairs and to see the dynamics of extra dyadic relationships as more complex and nuanced than they are typically portrayed in the literature Joan Atwood provides an overview of Internet infidelity—the factors influencing one’s involvement in this type of infidelity, and some considerations for therapists Tim Nelson, Fred Piercy, and Doug Sprenkle report on the results of a multi-phase Delphi study that explored what infidelity experts say are the critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity Monica Whitty and Adrian Carr draw upon Klein’s object relations theory and discuss how this might influence the way people rationalize their Internet infidelity Emily Brown outlines the concept of the Split Self Affair—discussing its origins, characteristics, and implications for individuals and couples, and providing detailed information on how to work with these couples in therapy Michael Bettinger presents extra dyadic relationship as a fact, rather than a problem, within many gay male relationships—a discussion that shows how gay male polyamory can work as an alternative to the heterosexual model of emotional and sexual exclusivity in romantic dyadic relationships Katherine Hertlein and Gary Skaggs report on the results of a study that assessed the level of differentiation and one’s engagement in extra dyadic relationships The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity is essential reading for today’s (and tomorrow’s) clinicians who work with couples. Make it a p
A deeply traumatic experience for both spouses, an affair can create a terrible loss of trust and can often lead to the end of a relationship. There are consequences not only for the married couple, but also for their children, family, and friends, not to mention for the third party in the triangle. This non-judgmental guide offers the knowledge and information that couples need in order to adequately confront marital infidelity and to get on with their lives.
Help your clients’ relationships survive infidelity! In the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity, a panel of seasoned experts reflects on issues central to affairs, and on how to help couples heal and learn from them. First, editors Fred P. Piercy, Katherine M. Hertlein, and Joseph L. Wetchler provide an essential overview of infidelity theory, research, and treatment. They discuss the effect of infidelity on couples and delineate three types of infidelity—emotional, physical, and infidelity including aspects of both. They review the relatively new role of the Internet in infidelity and explore infidelity within the context of comarital relationships. Finally, they discuss the overarching theories and common models used in infidelity treatment. Also in the Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity: Susan M. Johnson, the co-developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), discusses affairs through the lens of attachment theory, and shows how EFT provides a way to acknowledge and express pain, remorse, and regret, and to repair this attachment bond. David Moultrup takes a Bowenian approach to infidelity, focusing attention on the underlying dynamics of the emotional system Frank Pittman and Tina Pittman Wagers outline cultural myths about affairs and do their share of debunking Adrian Blow discusses how to help couples directly address their pain—and the challenges of the healing process Brian Case highlights the role of apology and forgiveness in the healing process Frank Stalfa and Catherine Hastings focus on the treatment of “accusatory suffering”—a spouse’s obsessive holding onto and retaliating for an affair long after it has ended, and despite the offending partner’s repeated apologies and attempts at restitution Don-David Lusterman discusses individuals who have suppressed or denied traumatic stress reactions to their partner’s affair, and how to help them Scott Johnson discusses myths about affairs, from who is cheating on whom, to whether men really have more affairs than women, to the blame-filled language of “affairs,” “betrayal,” and “infidelity,” asking us to think more systematically about affairs and to see the dynamics of extra dyadic relationships as more complex and nuanced than they are typically portrayed in the literature Joan Atwood provides an overview of Internet infidelity—the factors influencing one’s involvement in this type of infidelity, and some considerations for therapists Tim Nelson, Fred Piercy, and Doug Sprenkle report on the results of a multi-phase Delphi study that explored what infidelity experts say are the critical issues, interventions, and gender differences in the treatment of Internet infidelity Monica Whitty and Adrian Carr draw upon Klein’s object relations theory and discuss how this might influence the way people rationalize their Internet infidelity Emily Brown outlines the concept of the Split Self Affair—discussing its origins, characteristics, and implications for individuals and couples, and providing detailed information on how to work with these couples in therapy Michael Bettinger presents extra dyadic relationship as a fact, rather than a problem, within many gay male relationships—a discussion that shows how gay male polyamory can work as an alternative to the heterosexual model of emotional and sexual exclusivity in romantic dyadic relationships Katherine Hertlein and Gary Skaggs report on the results of a study that assessed the level of differentiation and one’s engagement in extra dyadic relationships The Handbook of the Clinical Treatment of Infidelity is essential reading for today’s (and tomorrow’s) clinicians who work with couples. Make it a p
Most clinicians seek guidelines and indicators as to the effectiveness of their interventions with clients. Some may even be implementing evidence-based interventions and seek an in-depth understanding of their results. This book helps clinicians who provide couple’s or marriage therapy and counseling go from the ambiguous realm of "thinking" or "knowing" their effectiveness to being able to demonstrate it. It identifies effective strategies for common treatment concerns that connect to the successful outcomes of therapy. Here, the process starts even before the couple enters therapy and goes beyond the final session. Dr. Losey discusses specific outcome measures and how they can be used in session so that the couple can assess their relationship and develop specific goals and interventions for treatment. The author also examines session notes, pre-treatment change, and developing quality post-treatment goals in his discussion of clinical effectiveness.
This book will help practitioners overcome one of the leading challenges in couples therapy: working effectively with the male partner. Men have unique needs and psychological issues that many clinicians may not recognize or know how to address. This volume presents chapters by the leading practitioners associated with current therapeutic models, including Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, Imago Relationship Therapy, Integrated Behavioral Couple Therapy, and more. Using in-depth case examples, they demonstrate how their approaches can be adapted to be "male-sensitive" and respond to the ambivalence so many men experience about couples work. Special topics are also addressed, including infidelity, cultural diversity, working with veterans, and fathering issues. This book will enrich therapists’ work with couples, making treatment a welcoming experience for both partners and the treatment process more gratifying for the therapist.
Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again.
