Author: Paul M F Smith

Publisher: Chipmunkapublishing ltd

Published: 2011-06-01

Total Pages: 62

ISBN-13: 1849913471

DescriptionThis is a mainly autobiographical story of one 'Lewis Fergus', and how mental illness began affecting him from his early years, and principally when he began comprehensive school. He finds the adjustment from 'small school' to 'big school' all a bit too much and retreats into himself, turning from a once quiet but confident young lad and into a virtually mute and cripplingly shy boy. Various incidents occur along the way to re-enforce this way of thinking in Lewis, leaving him a 'wallflower' throughout his school years, rarely mixing and making as few waves in life's ocean as he possibly could. The shy and anxious Lewis Fergus story continues through college, through work, through several bouts of depression and just the simple things of everyday life, and suffering because of how he is, as he feels himself as little more than a observer of life, of others living and getting on and having fun, while he remains on the sidelines - a fun kind and gregarious person trapped in the body of a shy and anxious guy, unable to interact with others in the way he would like to. His fragile confidence and mental state has to contend with the loss of loved ones, anxieties and phobias developing and changing, and the frustrations at his own inability to communicate like he sees others do every day. It was a long winding and punishing road for Lewis to walk and to make the small breakthrough's that would help him to grow and get on as a person. It also includes his genuine thoughts and feelings on events and everyday anxieties and sadness from 2006 onwards, written at the time by Lewis and unaltered beyond spelling and grammar. About the AuthorPaul Smith was born and raised in South Yorkshire, now living in south-west Scotland, and he has suffered with cronic depression on and off for the past ten years, along with a mild form of ocd, and a couple of phobias for good measure. These have affected his life in many ways, from socialising and making friends, to struggling to do a job and even using a telephone. It has also affected his sleep to varing degrees and impeded his self esteem for many years. Paul feels this is a genetic affliction, as both his Mother and her Father, along with Paul's sister have suffered with depression. He has also had varied experiences and problems with medication, and three separate occasions of counselling sessions.