Of Municipal Bondage

Of Municipal Bondage

Author: Dan Gillcrist

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2001-03-01

Total Pages: 210

ISBN-13: 1462832229

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This story is about the zany, profane and politically incorrect people who gravitated toward the municipal bond business in Texas in the 70s and 80s. It is fictional but many of the colorful events throughout the book actually happened. None of the characters represent actual people however, but the author infused all of the quirks, habits, character flaws, physical attributes and senses of humor he could recall from actual municipal bond people into his characters. The two main characters are Leon Walla, a very bright muni trader who is a bit short, drank a little too much, used the f-word along with an array of others, and never did all that well with the ladies. His friend Jack Armstrong is in many ways the anthesis of his pal Leon. Jack has a nice family, he is big and handsome, he is a muni institutional salesman and former Marine helicopter pilot. The two have a symbiotic relationship where they need each other. They sit at the trading desk of a fictional firm in Houston, relaying stories, selling, trading, taking calls from customers, laughing and generally living their lives irreverently. All this is told through, profane and realistic dialogue. Their Irish friend and fellow trader at a competing firm is Johnny Cannon. He mostly drinks and provides the other characters with someone to take care of. If you caught him between the third and ninth drink, he was lots of fun. Anytime after that he was too much baggage. Danny McKay, also a trader, is afflicted with a huge ass and, like Leon Walla did only moderately well with the ladies. His nickname is Wide Load. Marc Rapoport is a Jewish broker’s broker who is very bright and a close friend of Leon’s. He is nosy and is disappointed if he doesn’t know every little rumor and piece of news “on the street”. Sammy David Stein, who is not Jewish, was raised on the Grand Concourse in the Bronx and can do a perfect Yiddish dialect, which he uses throughout the book to entertain Rapoport and the others with hilarious Jewish jokes. He is older than the others and a leader in the Houston bond community. There are many other minor characters such as Lung, the Chinese bartender at their favorite bar where they all meet after work; Antonio the back office Cuban expatriate whose dialogue sounds like an excited Desi Arnez, who Jack describes as “one enchilada short of a Mexican plate lunch”; Archie the shoeshine man who comes through the tall building doing his think at the desks of his clientele at $4 a pop, like a bumblebee; Hey Zeus, is the lucky Mexican bartender in the final chapter; Charlie Stonebreaker a muni syndicate guy with a firm he calls Preparation Bache in New York; Mortabella, the zaniest of the lot, is a hugely successful trader in New York. Because of his record of making his firm tons of money, he is permitted to come to work as head trader, in a Jones Beach t-shirt and jeans and attend the board meetings in an old, wide lapelled, black tuxedo jacket. The main characters go to bond outings in Brownsville, Texas and New York City, hunting in Pearsall, Texas, eat lunch out everyday, commute to work, faithfully ‘attend’ Happy Hour at their favorite bar, The Sewer and generally get into mischief.


101 Damnations

101 Damnations

Author: Michael J. Rosen

Publisher: Macmillan

Published: 2002-08-03

Total Pages: 358

ISBN-13: 1429979917

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Dear flappable reader: Do you bristle at a handshake that resembles a limp fish? Do oblivious pedestrians bring you to the brink? What about museum gift shops, superfluous courtesy (do we need a gas pump to show us gratitude?), behemoth SUVS, or inexplicable operating manuals? Have you had it with screeching leaf blowers, beseeching telemarketers, escalating movie-ticket prices, or proliferating celebrity magazines? Is it children's choirs or karaoke singers, waiters bearing pepper grinders or dinner guests blathering on about salt, that drives you to distraction? For anyone who has recognized that this peaceful kingdom of ours has more than a few potholes, 101 Damnations is the perfect companion. It's your ticket to the nine circles of personal hell. Armed with wit, bewilderment, and words to the wise ass, today's leading humorists conduct a brief tour of the trivial and often universal exasperations we all must endure. Among the damning, Henry Alford reveals our wanton desire to affect Britishisms. Sandra Tsing Loh has it in for people who forward "funny" e-mails. Once and for all, Merrill Markoe sets forth cell phone etiquette. And there are many, many others. Ninety-eight to be exact. Make yourself comfortable. Misery loves company.


Money Changes Everything

Money Changes Everything

Author: Jenny Offill

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2008-01-15

Total Pages: 322

ISBN-13: 0767922832

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The editors of The Friend Who Got Away are back with a new anthology that will do for money what they did for women’s friendships. Ours is a culture of confession, yet money remains a distinctly taboo subject for most Americans. In this riveting anthology, a host of celebrated writers explore the complicated role money has played in their lives, whether they’re hiding from creditors or hiding a trust fund. This collection will touch a nerve with anyone who’s ever been afraid to reveal their bank balance. In these wide-ranging personal essays, Daniel Handler, Walter Kirn, Jill McCorkle, Meera Nair, Henry Alford, Susan Choi, and other acclaimed authors write with startling candor about how money has strengthened or undermined their closest relationships. Isabel Rose talks about the trials and tribulations of dating as an heiress. Tony Serra explains what led him to take a forty-year vow of poverty. September 11 widow Marian Fontana illuminates the heartbreak and moral complexities of victim compensation. Jonathan Dee reveals the debt that nearly did him in. And in paired essays, Fred Leebron and his wife Katherine Rhett discuss the way fights over money have shaken their marriage to the core again and again. We talk openly about our romantic disasters and family dramas, our problems at work and our battles with addiction. But when it comes to what is or is not in our wallets, we remain determinedly mum. Until now, that is. Money Changes Everything is the first anthology of its kind—an unflinching and on-the-record collection of essays filled with entertaining and enlightening insights into why we spend, save, and steal. The pieces in Money Changes Everything range from the comic to the harrowing, yet they all reveal the complex, emotionally charged role money plays in our lives by shattering the wall of silence that has long surrounded this topic.


And Then We Danced

And Then We Danced

Author: Henry Alford

Publisher: Simon & Schuster

Published: 2019-06-18

Total Pages: 256

ISBN-13: 1501122266

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“Captivating…equal parts memoir and cultural history, Henry Alford seamlessly interweaves heartwarming and hilarious anecdotes about his deep dive into all things dance” (Misty Copeland, The New York Times Book Review). When Henry Alford wrote about his experience with a Zumba class for The New York Times, little did he realize that it was the start of something much bigger. Dance would grow and take on many roles for Henry: exercise, stress reliever, confidence builder, an excuse to travel, a source of ongoing wonder, and—when he dances with Alzheimer’s patients—even a kind of community service. Tackling a wide range of forms (including ballet, hip-hop, jazz, ballroom, tap, contact improvisation, Zumba, swing), Alford’s grand tour takes us through the works and careers of luminaries ranging from Bob Fosse to George Balanchine, Twyla Tharp to Arthur Murray. Rich in insight and humor, Alford mines both personal experience and fascinating cultural history to offer a witty and ultimately moving portrait of how dance can express all things human. And Then We Danced “is in one sense a celebration of hoofer in all its wonder and variety, from abandon to refinement. But it is also history, investigation, memoir, and even, in its smart, sly way, self-help…very funny, but more, it is joyful—a dance all its own” (Vanity Fair).


Gift Giving

Gift Giving

Author: Cele Otnes

Publisher: Popular Press

Published: 1996

Total Pages: 260

ISBN-13: 9780879727055

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Gift Giving brings together 21 scholars from a variety of disciplines - including consumer behavior, communications, and sociology - who are dedicated to the understanding of what motivates gift selection, presentation, and incorporation of a gift into a person's life. The text explores the role of values in gift exchange; the influence of ethnic, generational, and subcultural differences in gift exchange; how gifts to the self are manifested; and new directions and topics in gift giving. In these essays, gift giving occasions are probed for the meanings that can be illuminated with respect to this pervasive, yet not always positive, phenomenon. For anyone interested in gift giving behavior, this volume should prove both enlightening and provocative.


Disquiet, Please!

Disquiet, Please!

Author: David Remnick

Publisher: Random House

Published: 2008-11-18

Total Pages: 546

ISBN-13: 1588368033

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The New Yorker is, of course, a bastion of superb essays, influential investigative journalism, and insightful arts criticism. But for eighty years, it’s also been a hoot. In fact, when Harold Ross founded the legendary magazine in 1925, he called it “a comic weekly,” and while it has grown into much more, it has also remained true to its original mission. Now an uproarious sampling of its funny writings can be found in a hilarious new collection, one as satirical and witty, misanthropic and menacing, as the first, Fierce Pajamas. From the 1920s onward–but with a special focus on the latest generation–here are the humorists who set the pace and stirred the pot, pulled the leg and pinched the behind of America. S. J. Perelman unearths the furious letters of a foreign correspondent in India to the laundry he insists on using in Paris (“Who charges six francs to wash a cummerbund?!”). Woody Allen recalls the “Whore of Mensa,” who excites her customers by reading Proust (or, if you want, two girls will explain Noam Chomsky). Steve Martin’s pill bottle warns us of side effects ranging from hair that smells of burning tires to teeth receiving radio broadcasts. Andy Borowitz provides his version of theater-lobby notices (“In Act III, there is full frontal nudity, but not involving the actor you would like to see naked”). David Owen’s rules for dating his ex-wife start out magnanimous and swiftly disintegrate into sarcasm, self-loathing, and rage, and Noah Baumbach unfolds a history of his last relationship in the form of Zagat reviews. Meanwhile, off in a remote “willage” in Normandy, David Sedaris is drowning a mouse (“This was for the best, whether the mouse realized it or not”). Plus asides, fancies, rebukes, and musings from Patty Marx, Calvin Trillin, Bruce McCall, Garrison Keillor, Veronica Geng, Ian Frazier, Roy Blount, Jr., and many others. If laughter is the best medicine, Disquiet, Please is truly a wonder drug.