Is it possible to be independent... together? This provocative work follows partners who have struggled to find alternatives to the traditional idea that they must live together to be considered a couple. These individuals have created happiness in their relationships by maintaining their own autonomy. Whether you're a professional searching for ways to balance career and home life, an empty nester who wants to rekindle the fire, or a single parent searching for an alternative to a blended family, Living Apart Together will help you revitalize your relationship. By striving for independence, you can achieve stability with your partner - and keep your romance alive.
Argues for legal reforms to protect couples who live apart but perform many of the functions of a family Living Apart Together is an in-depth look at a new way of being a couple and “doing family”—living apart together (LAT)—in which committed couples maintain separate residences and finances. In Bowman’s own 2016 national survey, 9% of respondents reported maintaining committed relationships while living apart, typically spending the weekend together, socializing together, taking vacations together, and looking after one another in illness, but maintaining financial independence. The term LAT stems from Europe, where this manner of coupledom has been extensively studied; however, it has gone virtually unnoticed in the United States. Living Apart Together aims to remedy this oversight by presenting original research derived from both randomized surveys and qualitative interviews. Beginning with the large body of social science literature from outside the US, Cynthia Bowman examines the prevalence of this lifestyle, the demographics of people who live apart, their reasons for doing so, and how these individuals manage finances, care during illness, and many other aspects of family life. She focuses in particular detail on three key demographics—women, gay men, and the elderly—and how individuals from these groups engage in LAT behavior. She finds that while these living arrangements are more common than previously believed, there are virtually no legal protections for the people involved. Bowman concludes by proposing a number of legal reforms to support the caregiving functions LAT partners perform for each other. Living Apart Together makes an important case for formal recognition of this growing but largely overlooked family structure.
"Wise, timely, and truthful . . . There are as many ways of living together as there are people, and it's great that there's at last a book reflecting that with such humour and insight." -- Deborah Moggach, author, "The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel" SPECIAL NOTE! -- ANNE WILL PERSONALLY ANSWER ANY QUESTION OF YOURS AFTER READING THIS BOOK. ASK ON HER WEB SITE, AND YOU'LL NORMALLY HEAR BACK WITHIN HOURS! You hear many reasons why marriages and long-term relationships break up, but there's one that's seldom acknowledged: Many committed couples would get along better if only they weren't roommates. But what can they do? They have to share a home, don't they? What if they chose to defy expectations -- their own and everyone else's? What if they decided to live in separate apartments or houses, nearby or even side-by-side? Wouldn't they avoid many tensions that typically drag couples down? Wouldn't they gain richer and happier times together? Anne L. Watson and her partner have lived this kind of life successfully for nearly two decades. In this groundbreaking book, she draws on personal experience to reveal the benefits of such an arrangement and tell how you might make it work for yourself. In the end, Anne helps you understand that not all couples need a common residence to live happily ever after. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// Anne L. Watson is the author of a variety of works, including housekeeping manuals, cookbooks, craft books, literary novels, and children's books. She is also retired from a long and honored career as a historic preservation architecture consultant. Anne "lives apart together" with her husband, fellow author, and publisher, Aaron Shepard, in Bellingham, Washington. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// CONTENTS The Vow How We Got Here Living Room -- Decorating and Entertaining Kitchen and Dining Room -- Cooking and Eating Bedroom -- Sleeping and Sex Bathroom Housekeeping Money Kids Pets Expectations Compromise and Cooperation Dominance and Deference Time Alone Time Together The Choice Frequently Asked Questions
This book challenges the standard conception of the Middle Ages as a time of persecution for Jews. Jonathan Elukin traces the experience of Jews in Europe from late antiquity through the Renaissance and Reformation, revealing how the pluralism of medieval society allowed Jews to feel part of their local communities despite recurrent expressions of hatred against them. Elukin shows that Jews and Christians coexisted more or less peacefully for much of the Middle Ages, and that the violence directed at Jews was largely isolated and did not undermine their participation in the daily rhythms of European society. The extraordinary picture that emerges is one of Jews living comfortably among their Christian neighbors, working with Christians, and occasionally cultivating lasting friendships even as Christian culture often demonized Jews. As Elukin makes clear, the expulsions of Jews from England, France, Spain, and elsewhere were not the inevitable culmination of persecution, but arose from the religious and political expediencies of particular rulers. He demonstrates that the history of successful Jewish-Christian interaction in the Middle Ages in fact laid the social foundations that gave rise to the Jewish communities of modern Europe. Elukin compels us to rethink our assumptions about this fascinating period in history, offering us a new lens through which to appreciate the rich complexities of the Jewish experience in medieval Christendom.
A close-up examination and exploration, How We Live Now challenges our old concepts of what it means to be a family and have a home, opening the door to the many diverse and thriving experiments of living in twenty-first century America. Across America and around the world, in cities and suburbs and small towns, people from all walks of life are redefining our “lifespaces”—the way we live and who we live with. The traditional nuclear family in their single-family home on a suburban lot has lost its place of prominence in contemporary life. Today, Americans have more choices than ever before in creating new ways to live and meet their personal needs and desires. Social scientist, researcher, and writer Bella DePaulo has traveled across America to interview people experimenting with the paradigm of how we live. In How We Live Now, she explores everything from multi-generational homes to cohousing communities where one’s “family” is made up of friends and neighbors to couples “living apart together” to single-living, and ultimately uncovers a pioneering landscape for living that throws the old blueprint out the window. Through personal interviews and stories, media accounts, and in-depth research, How We Live Now explores thriving lifespaces, and offers the reader choices that are freer, more diverse, and more attuned to our modern needs for the twenty-first century and beyond.
Guess which couple got more of what they wanted: Charles and Charlotte, who worked out a negotiated settlement together? Or John and Joyce, who let the court settle their differences? Couples who want to negotiate their own divorce settlements now have a comprehensive self-help guide, complete with ground rules, agendas for discussion, sample forms, and options for divorce mediation without "bloodshed." Not quite a "do-it-yourself" manual - you'll still need an attorney - but packed with real-couple examples of successful agreements on Co-Parenting, Custody, Financial Support, College Planning, Property, Insurance, Taxes.... An organized, thorough guide to the important issues for every separating couple, and an effective aid for those who seek professional mediation. "Your chances of getting the outcome you want are best when you take control of the decision-making process," says Martin Kranitz, Director of the National Center for Mediation Education in Annapolis, Maryland. "Couples can work out their own decisions, if they know what to talk about."
Helps women break through the tired and hurtful stereotypes of aging to better reflect who they are, how they live, and what they want as they age. Who hasn’t heard the stereotypes about women of a "certain age?” That’s the age when women become invisible, irrelevant, undesirable, asexual, unhinged, dried-up, hormonal messes. It’s when women quickly slide into fragility and become forgetful, passive, weak, feeble, debilitated, disabled, dependent, and depressed. Or so the story goes. Not only are those outdated narratives sexist and ageist, they are also damaging to women’s physical, emotional, financial, romantic, and sexual health. It’s time to change them. In Not Too Old for That, Vicki Larson helps change the narrative about being a woman at midlife and older. She questions what we’ve been told aging would be like and encourages us to instead ask ourselves, what do we want it to be like, and how can we get there? The key is to be curious, open-minded, and intentional about the ways we are becoming our future selves.We have an opportunity to create new narratives of aging as a woman, ones that value women at all stages of life, not just youth, and it starts with us. Once the stereotypes that have held women back are broken down, women can move past them and rather than feel helpless as the years add up, they can discover and tap into just how much agency they have. Not only will this book help to create a less-ageist, less-sexist, more-inclusive future, it will release our daughters and all young women from a similar future.
Will living together bring you closer or drive you apart? You are about to make a decision that will take your life in a totally new direction, one that will have a lasting impact on you and someone you love. If you are wrestling with that decision, now is the time to stop and set your emotions gently aside and take time to sort through your own feelings, as well as other people's opinions about what is best for you. Candid, caring, and thoughtful, Before You Live Together is uses true stories to illustrate different living-together situations and their outcomes. It also addresses the basic questions and issues you may have asked yourself, including: Is this the best way to find out if we are compatible? Why do we need a piece of paper to tell us we are committed to each other? Is it so much cheaper than paying two rents? While this book presents biblical values in a compelling and loving way, it never lectures, but instead seeks to help you decide what is best for both of you. Read it for yourself. Read it with the one you love. Read it to make the right decision at the time when it matters most.
If half of all cars bought in America each year broke down, there would be a national uproar. But when people suggest that maybe every single marriage doesn't look like the next and isn't meant to last until death, there's nothing but a rash of proposed laws trying to force it to do just that. In The New I Do, therapist Susan Pease Gadoua and journalist Vicki Larson take a groundbreaking look at the modern shape of marriage to help readers open their minds to marrying more consciously and creatively. Offering actual models of less-traditional marriages, including everything from a parenting marriage (intended for the sake of raising and nurturing children) to a comfort or safety marriage (where people marry for financial security or companionship), the book covers unique options for couples interested in forging their own paths. With advice to help listeners decide what works for them, The New I Doacts as a guide to thinking outside the marital box and the framework for a new debate on marriage in the 21st century.
