My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

My Life on the Line: How the NFL Damn Near Killed Me and Ended Up Saving My Life

Author: Ryan O'Callaghan

Publisher: Akashic Books

Published: 2019-09-03

Total Pages: 161

ISBN-13: 1617757705

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A riveting account of life as a closeted professional athlete from gay NFL player O’Callaghan, against the backdrop of depression, opioid addiction, and the threat of suicide. “[O’Callaghan’s] story is one of beautiful vulnerability, and it further shows the importance of knowing you aren’t alone.” —Oprah Daily, recommended by Gayle King Ryan O’Callaghan’s plan was always to play football and then, when his career was over, kill himself. Growing up in a politically conservative corner of California, the not-so-subtle messages he heard as a young man from his family and from TV and film routinely equated being gay with disease and death. Letting people in on the darkest secret he kept buried inside was not an option: better death with a secret than life as a gay man. As a kid , Ryan never envisioned just how far his football career would take him. He was recruited by the University of California, Berkeley, where he spent five seasons, playing alongside his friend Aaron Rodgers. Then it was on to the NFL for stints with the almost-undefeated New England Patriots and the often-defeated Kansas City Chiefs. Bubbling under the surface of Ryan’s entire NFL career was a collision course between his secret sexuality and his hidden drug use. When the league caught him smoking pot, he turned to NFL-sanctioned prescription painkillers that quickly sent his life into a tailspin. As injuries mounted and his daily intake of opioids reached a near-lethal level, he wrote his suicide note to his parents and plotted his death. Yet someone had been watching. A member of the Chiefs organization stepped in, recognizing the signs of drug addiction. Ryan reluctantly sought psychological help, and it was there that he revealed his lifelong secret for the very first time. Nearing the twilight of his career, Ryan faced the ultimate decision: end it all, or find out if his family and football friends could ever accept a gay man in their lives.


League of Denial

League of Denial

Author: Mark Fainaru-Wada

Publisher: Crown

Published: 2014-08-26

Total Pages: 457

ISBN-13: 0770437567

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NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The story of how the NFL, over a period of nearly two decades, denied and sought to cover up mounting evidence of the connection between football and brain damage “League of Denial may turn out to be the most influential sports-related book of our time.”—The Boston Globe “Professional football players do not sustain frequent repetitive blows to the brain on a regular basis.” So concluded the National Football League in a December 2005 scientific paper on concussions in America’s most popular sport. That judgment, implausible even to a casual fan, also contradicted the opinion of a growing cadre of neuroscientists who worked in vain to convince the NFL that it was facing a deadly new scourge: a chronic brain disease that was driving an alarming number of players—including some of the all-time greats—to madness. In League of Denial, award-winning ESPN investigative reporters Mark Fainaru-Wada and Steve Fainaru tell the story of a public health crisis that emerged from the playing fields of our twenty-first-century pastime. Everyone knows that football is violent and dangerous. But what the players who built the NFL into a $10 billion industry didn’t know—and what the league sought to shield from them—is that no amount of padding could protect the human brain from the force generated by modern football, that the very essence of the game could be exposing these players to brain damage. In a fast-paced narrative that moves between the NFL trenches, America’s research labs, and the boardrooms where the NFL went to war against science, League of Denial examines how the league used its power and resources to attack independent scientists and elevate its own flawed research—a campaign with echoes of Big Tobacco’s fight to deny the connection between smoking and lung cancer. It chronicles the tragic fates of players like Hall of Fame Pittsburgh Steelers center Mike Webster, who was so disturbed at the time of his death he fantasized about shooting NFL executives, and former San Diego Chargers great Junior Seau, whose diseased brain became the target of an unseemly scientific battle between researchers and the NFL. Based on exclusive interviews, previously undisclosed documents, and private emails, this is the story of what the NFL knew and when it knew it—questions at the heart of a crisis that threatens football, from the highest levels all the way down to Pop Warner.


Tampa Bay Magazine

Tampa Bay Magazine

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 1997-03

Total Pages: 138

ISBN-13:

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Tampa Bay Magazine is the area's lifestyle magazine. For over 25 years it has been featuring the places, people and pleasures of Tampa Bay Florida, that includes Tampa, Clearwater and St. Petersburg. You won't know Tampa Bay until you read Tampa Bay Magazine.


Skiing Heritage Journal

Skiing Heritage Journal

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 2009-09

Total Pages: 48

ISBN-13:

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Skiing Heritage is a quarterly Journal of original, entertaining, and informative feature articles on skiing history. Published by the International Skiing History Association, its contents support ISHA's mission "to preserve skiing history and to increase awareness of the sport's heritage."


New York Magazine

New York Magazine

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 1983-11-14

Total Pages: 170

ISBN-13:

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New York magazine was born in 1968 after a run as an insert of the New York Herald Tribune and quickly made a place for itself as the trusted resource for readers across the country. With award-winning writing and photography covering everything from politics and food to theater and fashion, the magazine's consistent mission has been to reflect back to its audience the energy and excitement of the city itself, while celebrating New York as both a place and an idea.


New York Magazine

New York Magazine

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 1984-11-26

Total Pages: 180

ISBN-13:

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New York magazine was born in 1968 after a run as an insert of the New York Herald Tribune and quickly made a place for itself as the trusted resource for readers across the country. With award-winning writing and photography covering everything from politics and food to theater and fashion, the magazine's consistent mission has been to reflect back to its audience the energy and excitement of the city itself, while celebrating New York as both a place and an idea.


Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!

Get Your Own Damn Beer, I'm Watching the Game!

Author: Holly Robinson Peete

Publisher: Rodale

Published: 2005-08-15

Total Pages: 246

ISBN-13: 9781594861635

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A guide for women football fans explains each component of the game of football, describes the role of each position player, outlines common plays, and provides descriptions of some of the most memorable moments in NFL history.


New York Magazine

New York Magazine

Author:

Publisher:

Published: 1983-11-21

Total Pages: 158

ISBN-13:

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New York magazine was born in 1968 after a run as an insert of the New York Herald Tribune and quickly made a place for itself as the trusted resource for readers across the country. With award-winning writing and photography covering everything from politics and food to theater and fashion, the magazine's consistent mission has been to reflect back to its audience the energy and excitement of the city itself, while celebrating New York as both a place and an idea.