A man walks into a bar. It’s a low one, so he gets a promotion within his first six months on the job. Four comedy writers transform classic joke setups into sharp commentary about the everyday and structural sexism that pervades all facets of life. Jokes to Offend Men arms readers with humorous quips to shut down workplace underminers, condescending uncles, and dismissive doctors, or to share with their exhausted friends at the end of a long day. A cutting, cathartic spin on the old-fashioned joke book, Jokes to Offend Men is a refreshing reclamation of a tired form for anyone who's ever been told to "lighten up, it's just a joke!"
The ultimate collection of tasteless and sick jokes that just shouldn't be told. More than 3,000 off-colour jokes, covering every taboo from sex and death to race and disability, this book leaves no stone unturned in its search for the most dubious jokes known to humanity. Why exactly do we like to laugh at jokes that are cruel, heartless and downright wrong? And more to the point, who cares so long as they make us laugh? Twice as funny, twice as outrageous, twice as shocking. From Anne Frank's drum kit to the correct use of wheelchairs, this is a fantastic new collection of bad taste and political incorrectness. If you even think about reading it you're a monster; if you buy it you're going straight to hell. Includes gems such as these: My father is in a coma. He's just living the dream. Why don't cannibals eat divorced women? Because they're very bitter. What do you do if a pit bull mounts your leg? Fake an orgasm. How do you stop a politician from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water. The Beatles have reformed and have brought out a new album. It's mostly drum and bass. I went to see my friend's new baby. They asked me if I wanted to wind him. I thought that was a bit harsh so I just gave him a dead leg instead. Remember, a doggy is not just for Christmas. It's a great position all year round.
From New Yorker and Onion writer and comedian Blythe Roberson, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a comedy philosophy book aimed at interrogating what it means to date men within the trappings of modern society. Blythe Roberson’s sharp observational humor is met by her open-hearted willingness to revel in the ugliest warts and shimmering highs of choosing to live our lives amongst other humans. She collects her crushes like ill cared-for pets, skewers her own suspect decisions, and assures readers that any date you can mess up, she can top tenfold. And really, was that date even a date in the first place? With sections like Real Interviews With Men About Whether Or Not It Was A Date; Good Flirts That Work; Bad Flirts That Do Not Work; and Definitive Proof That Tom Hanks Is The Villain Of You’ve Got Mail, How to Date Men When You Hate Men is a one stop shop for dating advice when you love men but don't like them. "With biting wit, Roberson explores the dynamics of heterosexual dating in the age of #MeToo" — The New York Times
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son." The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II. It's a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
From the twisted mind of Gavin McInnes, the hilariously brilliant creator of Vice magazine and the ever-popular Vice Dos And Don'ts, comes the next stage in the evolution of street fashion critiques. Fifteen years after founding Vice, Gavin McInnes has poured his creative juices into a new endeavor: StreetCarnage.com. Growing in size and influence at an alarming rate, the site's main feature is the new and improved version of Gavin's "DOs and DON'Ts," now tantalizingly called Street Boners. These Boners have been polished and compounded into a book that takes the best of the site and adds hundreds more gems! With 1,312 photos, hilarious captions, and a harsh new rating system-from one to 10 kitten faces-Street Boners makes sure no glorious fashion statement goes unnoticed. Innocent citizens are either damned to hell or relentlessly exalted into heaven. Chloe Sevigny, Debbie Harry, Fred Armisen, and Tim & Eric also contribute their scathing wit to the book, and the end result is a New York fashion bible no bathroom should be without.
“Jesus saves. Moses invests.” “Why spoil a good meal with a big tip?” “What did the Jewish mother ask her daughter when the daughter told her she had had an affair?—‘Who catered it?’ ” “I’ve probably heard—and told—some of the jokes in this book a thousand times; more than a few are older than I am. Others were actually new to me. But I can’t think of a good Jewish joke that isn’t in this collection. Enjoy!” —Alan King The undisputed heavyweight champion of Jewish humor livens up the pages with a rich and comprehensive treasury of the all-time best Jewish jokes. From the Polish shtetls to vaudeville and the Catskills to modern Hollywood and comedy clubs across the country, Jewish humor hasn’t just survived, it has become universally loved and often recited—by Jews and non-Jews alike. And who better to compile the best of Jewish humor than Alan King, the consummate comedian who has torn up every venue from the Friar’s Club and Broadway to Comedy Central? In Alan King’s Great Jewish Joke Book, King gathers old standards and hilarious new material, great one-liners and drop-dead funny stories, and packs them into a laugh-(or sometimes a groan-) out-loud celebration of the Jewish funny bone. So why is this book like chicken soup? Because it doesn’t cure anything, but it sure can make you feel better! Or your money back, guaranteed. (Just kidding.)
Do you know the top seven things men do that drive women nuts? Or the real reason women cry more than men do? What are men really looking for in a woman—both at first sight and for the long-term? These are only the starting points for Barbara and Allan Pease as they discuss the very real—and often very funny—differences between the sexes. Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes takes a look at some of the issues that have confused men and women for centuries. Using new findings on the brain, studies of social changes, evolutionary biology, and psychology, the Peases teach you how to make the most of your relationships—or at least begin to understand where your partner is coming from. They help women understand why men avoid commitment, what drives them to lie, and how to decode male speech to find out what they are really saying. They explain to men why women nag, how they use emotional blackmail, and how to understand (and take advantage of!) the top-secret scoring system all women apply. They also dish about the top turn-ons--and turn-offs--for both sexes. Laced with their trademark humor, Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes addresses a host of nitty-gritty battlegrounds as well, from channel surfing and toilet seats to shopping and communication. Already a #1 bestseller in the United Kingdom, Germany, Japan, Holland, Spain, Brazil, Portugal, Belgium, Ireland, France, Czech Republic, India, Singapore, Malaysia, South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia, Why Men Don’t Have a Clue and Women Always Need More Shoes is the answer to understanding the opposite sex.
NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • “For all those who have lived with Vonnegut in their imaginations . . . this is what he is like in person.”–USA Today In a volume that is penetrating, introspective, incisive, and laugh-out-loud funny, one of the great men of letters of this age–or any age–holds forth on life, art, sex, politics, and the state of America’s soul. From his coming of age in America, to his formative war experiences, to his life as an artist, this is Vonnegut doing what he does best: Being himself. Whimsically illustrated by the author, A Man Without a Country is intimate, tender, and brimming with the scope of Kurt Vonnegut’s passions. Praise for A Man Without a Country “[This] may be as close as Vonnegut ever comes to a memoir.”–Los Angeles Times “Like [that of] his literary ancestor Mark Twain, [Kurt Vonnegut’s] crankiness is good-humored and sharp-witted. . . . [Reading A Man Without a Country is] like sitting down on the couch for a long chat with an old friend.”–The New York Times Book Review “Filled with [Vonnegut’s] usual contradictory mix of joy and sorrow, hope and despair, humor and gravity.”–Chicago Tribune “Fans will linger on every word . . . as once again [Vonnegut] captures the complexity of the human condition with stunning calligraphic simplicity.”–The Australian “Thank God, Kurt Vonnegut has broken his promise that he will never write another book. In this wondrous assemblage of mini-memoirs, we discover his family’s legacy and his obstinate, unfashionable humanism.”–Studs Terkel
