Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.
Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness-more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.
The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla’s homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn’t keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It’s a hell of a way to travel. But something isn’t right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn’t actually know where she’s going. It’s obvious she’s hiding something from him. And then one fateful night—just as they’re about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree—their lives are forever changed... Because that’s when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can’t he have both? Why is it either Starla’s way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What’s going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead’s new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.
Now in paperback after six hardback printings, the damn funny...wild collection of bracingly intelligent essays about topics that aren't quite as intelligent as Chuck Klosterman'(Esquire). Following the success of Fargo Rock City, Klosterman, a senior writer at Spin magazine, is back with a hilarious and savvy manifesto for a youth gone wild on pop culture and media, taking on everything from Guns'n'Roses tribute bands to Christian fundamentalism to internet porn. 'Maddeningly smart and funny' - Washington Post'
Leigh has a serious problem. And it’s the sick, twisted pervert who’s kidnapped her for his own pleasure! Chad! When Leigh spurns his advances at a party he throws in her honor, Chad goes haywire and kidnaps her, stealing her away to his personal New England Patriots Shangri-La, a secret Man Cave hundreds of feet below sea level he affectionately calls his “Chadmiral’s Quarters.” Leigh awakens to a strange NFL-and-BDSM-infused nightmare. Chad is obviously off the deep end with lust for her, and while naked, Leigh is tantalized to see he is a very built and attractive man. But now that Chad has her in his grasp he has some very “unique” ideas about how they should spend their time together. He’s going to teach Leigh, this “Touchdown Queen,” about a side of Gronk she’s never experienced before... whether she want to learn it or not! It is a lesson that will make Leigh squirm with pain and with pleasure. Leigh cries out! But is it with ecstasy she cries out? Is she starting to like what Chad has to offer? Complicating things? With Dan? With Gronk? With her etsy store? With her very soul? Really, how many times in life has the sequel been better than the original? Well, let me tell you: THIS is one of those times. “A Gronking to Remember 2: Chad Goes Deep in the Neutral Zone” is so dark and twisted, so devious, so hot and thought-provoking, so full of plot twists and surprises, it makes the first book in the series, the best-selling “A Gronking to Remember,” look like A PIECE OF SHIT. So read what everyone is talking about. The saga continues! And have no reservations: “Chad Goes Deep in the Neutral Zone” is no sophomore slump… It is a verified sophomore SLAM. Warning: Contains some sexually graphic scenes as well as the misuse of American footballs that will leave you wet, hard and everything in between. Sports (Part Deux)!
INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER • A bestselling dystopian novel that tackles surveillance, privacy and the frightening intrusions of technology in our lives—a “compulsively readable parable for the 21st century” (Vanity Fair). When Mae Holland is hired to work for the Circle, the world’s most powerful internet company, she feels she’s been given the opportunity of a lifetime. The Circle, run out of a sprawling California campus, links users’ personal emails, social media, banking, and purchasing with their universal operating system, resulting in one online identity and a new age of civility and transparency. As Mae tours the open-plan office spaces, the towering glass dining facilities, the cozy dorms for those who spend nights at work, she is thrilled with the company’s modernity and activity. There are parties that last through the night, there are famous musicians playing on the lawn, there are athletic activities and clubs and brunches, and even an aquarium of rare fish retrieved from the Marianas Trench by the CEO. Mae can’t believe her luck, her great fortune to work for the most influential company in the world—even as life beyond the campus grows distant, even as a strange encounter with a colleague leaves her shaken, even as her role at the Circle becomes increasingly public. What begins as the captivating story of one woman’s ambition and idealism soon becomes a heart-racing novel of suspense, raising questions about memory, history, privacy, democracy, and the limits of human knowledge.
New York Times bestseller The pie-making genius behind the popular Instagram account @lokokitchen reveals the secrets of her mind-blowing creations in this gorgeous full-color cookbook featuring 50 incredible sweet and savory pie and tart designs In a few short years, Lauren Ko made all hell bake loose, going from novice pie baker to internet star and creator of today’s most surprising and delightful pie and tart designs. Her unique geometric style uses fruit and dough cut and woven into stunning shapes to highlight color and texture. With an elegant symmetry that matches their knockout flavor, her dazzlingly intricate and inventive designs look difficult to produce, but can be achieved with little more than a knife, ruler, and some patience. In Pieometry, Lauren reveals her secrets, sharing stories about her designs and the inspiration behind them. Warm and funny, she recounts the spectacular piesasters that led to some of her best creations, and breaks down her most beautiful designs, describing how to make naturally-colored dough, intricate weaves, and striking cut-out patterns. Pieometry provides clear, step-by-step instructions, accompanied by helpful photographs, which any patient baker can follow to build these pies from bottom crust to top in their own kitchens. Lauren makes it easy to mix and match doughs, fruits, fillings, and designs, and each recipe includes suggestions for alternative ingredients. Best of all, the beautiful finished pie and tart photos are just as much of a treat to look at as the pies are to eat. But even if you make a mistake here and there, her flavors save the day! When it comes to flavor, Pieometry offers a balance of sweet and savory pies that are a feast for the senses, including: Of a Shingle Mind: Honey ricotta tart with an herbed pastry shell and beets Berried Treasure: Lavender blackberry cream with a shortbread crust and berries Wave of Wonders: Cardamom coffee cream with a shortbread crust and pear Once in a Tile: Pumpkin black sesame pie with a black sesame crust C and Easy: Butternut bacon macaroni and cheese pie with a whole wheat cheddar chive crust Squiggle Room: Grilled cinnamon pineapple pie with a basic butter crust Whether you want to impress at the holidays or just spruce up a family meal, Pieometry is your guide to transforming a rustic traditional dessert into a modern masterpiece.
The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.”—O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments—the ones we want to pretend never happened—are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside
Explosive, revealing, and intelligent, The Red Circle provides a uniquely personal glimpse into one of the most challenging and secretive military training courses in the world. Now including an excerpt from The Killing School: Inside the World's Deadliest Sniper Program BEFORE HE COULD FORGE A BAND OF ELITE WARRIORS... HE HAD TO BECOME ONE HIMSELF. Brandon Webb's experiences in the world's most elite sniper corps are the stuff of legend. From his grueling years of training in Naval Special Operations to his combat tours in the Persian Gulf and Afghanistan, The Red Circle provides a rare and riveting look at the inner workings of the U.S. military through the eyes of a covert operations specialist. Yet it is Webb's distinguished second career as a lead instructor for the shadowy "sniper cell" and Course Manager of the Navy SEAL Sniper Program that trained some of America's finest and deadliest warriors-including Marcus Luttrell and Chris Kyle-that makes his story so compelling. Luttrell credits Webb's training with his own survival during the ill-fated 2005 Operation Redwing in Afghanistan. Kyle went on to become the U.S. military's top marksman, with more than 150 confirmed kills. From a candid chronicle of his student days, going through the sniper course himself, to his hair-raising close calls with Taliban and al Qaeda forces in the northern Afghanistan wilderness, to his vivid account of designing new sniper standards and training some of the most accomplished snipers of the twenty-first century, Webb provides a rare look at the making of the Special Operations warriors who are at the forefront of today's military.
