How to Take Control of a Controlling Relationship - a Therapist's Perspective

How to Take Control of a Controlling Relationship - a Therapist's Perspective

Author: Kamalyn Kaur

Publisher:

Published: 2019-10-06

Total Pages: 156

ISBN-13: 9781698132198

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IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP CARING OR CONTROLLING? Your partner: * Calls you all the time when you are not with them. * Wants you to spend all your time with them because they miss you too much when you are not with them. * Tells you what to wear because they want you to look your best. * Doesn't like your friends / family because they aren't good for you. * Asks you a million questions before you go out because they want to make sure you are safe. This book will help you gain clarity about your relationship and identify whether your relationship is caring or controlling? WHO IS THIS BOOK FOR?Anyone, who since being with their partner, is feeling lost; confused; questioning who they are; not able to recognise themselves anymore; feeling trapped within their relationship; AND feeling they aren't good enough.It will also be useful and helpful for anyone who has just walked out of a controlling or abusive relationship. WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM THIS BOOK? You can expect to breathe a sigh of relief, feel reassured, and empowered with the insight, awareness and confidence required to take the necessary steps to ensure your relationships are happy, healthy and stress-free. Some readers may also feel self confident and self assured enough to bring up the subject issue with a family / friend that they suspect might be stuck in an unhealthy relationship. WHY YOU SHOULD BUY THIS BOOK? (1) Tried and tested advice: The book is a practical guide and framework, put together by a therapist through observations and experience of working with individuals facing unhealthy, controlling or abusive relationships. The advice is a tried and tested approach which has helped clients release themselves from the "hold" of a controlling / emotionally abusive relationship, enabling them to move forward in life with self belief, self acceptance and self love. (2) Important issue which requires ongoing awareness raising: Many individuals will struggle to or find it difficult to speak up about an unhealthy, toxic or abusive relationship due to reasons of fear, insecurity, confusion, uncertainty or doubt within themselves. Some of the tips in this article could empower individuals with the confidence, clarity and certainty required to acknowledge and accept that they are in an unhealthy situation that requires action.


Intimacy and Desire

Intimacy and Desire

Author: Dr David Schnarch

Publisher: Scribe Publications

Published: 2010

Total Pages: 449

ISBN-13: 1921640324

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In this groundbreaking book, Dr. David Schnarch, one of the foremost experts on sexuality and relationships, explains why normal healthy couples in long-term relationships have sexual desire problems, regardless of how much they love each other or how well they communicate. In-depth examples of couples he has counselled reveal his unique understanding of common-but-difficult sexual desire problems that affect couples of all ages. Combining compassion and clinical wisdom, Dr. Schnarch explains how to use his revolutionary Four Points of Balance approach to resolve low desire, mismatched desire, sexual boredom, and the emotional gridlock that accompanies these problems. Intimacy and Desire provides a roadmap for how couples can transform common sexual desire problems into self-exploration and personal development that leads to psychological and spiritual growth, stronger relationships, and more powerful and meaningful desire for each other. It provides time-proven comprehensive solutions that help couples reconnect with each other sexually, and take their intimacy and passion to new, previously unexplored heights.


From Charm to Harm:

From Charm to Harm:

Author: Amy Lewis Bear

Publisher: Balboa Press

Published: 2014-02-18

Total Pages: 236

ISBN-13: 1452591601

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The lack of language to identify emotional abuse and its aftermath among couples is a major barrier to recognition and treatment. From Charm to Harm breaks down this barrier by providing simple words and definitions that name and explain harmful interactions between intimate partners. Many of these interactions, although emotionally toxic, are hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. From Charm to Harm will empower you to recognize and describe the psychological destruction wrought by an intimate partner who claims to love you. It will provide you with ways to protect yourself and your loved ones in current and future relationships. Determine if your mate is emotionally abusive, the effects on you, and how you may be enabling the abuse. Find out how and why charm turns to harm when one partner has a deep-seated need to control the other partner. Discover why people abuse their lovers, why their lovers allow it, how it happens, and its aftermath. Learn how easy it is to get caught up in the oppressive cycle of emotional abuse and how you might be contributing to your own suffering. Learn how to stand up to an abusive partner, get treatment for both partners, and make the choice to leave or stay in the relationship. From Charm to Harm will help you stop the cycle of emotional abuse and claim your right to be loved and respected by your mate.


The Controlling Husband

The Controlling Husband

Author: Dr. Ron Welch

Publisher: Revell

Published: 2014-06-10

Total Pages: 251

ISBN-13: 1441245049

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"I can't live this way anymore." "I've given up trying to change him." "I can't ever be good enough." "He won't listen to me anyway." As a clinical psychologist, Dr. Ron Welch has heard many women in controlling marriages pour out their hearts. They feel trapped, helpless, stuck in a situation with no solution and no way out. In this candid book, Welch offers real hope. He shows women how controlling husbands develop, why wives allow themselves to be controlled, and strategies to help both husband and wife change. Welch struggled as a controlling husband for years but found help and healing in his relationship with his wife. He uses that experience, as well as examples from the lives of the couples he's worked with, to show women that just because "he's always been this way" doesn't mean their marriage must be that way forever. He teaches women valuable practical skills for coping with the challenges they face and transforming the power and control issues in their marriages. For wives of controlling husbands, along with the friends and family members who love and are concerned about them, this is an essential resource. Counselors will also find it helpful as they work with hurting couples.


In Quest of the Mythical Mate

In Quest of the Mythical Mate

Author: Ellyn Bader

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2013-05-13

Total Pages: 287

ISBN-13: 1134848269

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In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples.


Invisible Chains

Invisible Chains

Author: Lisa Aronson Fontes

Publisher: Guilford Publications

Published: 2015-03-10

Total Pages: 240

ISBN-13: 1462520359

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When you are showered with attention, it can feel incredibly romantic and can blind you to hints of problems ahead. But what happens when attentiveness becomes domination? In some relationships, the desire to control leads to jealousy, threats, micromanaging--even physical violence. If you or someone you care about are trapped in a web of coercive control, this book provides answers, hope, and a way out. Lisa Aronson Fontes draws on both professional expertise and personal experience to help you: *Recognize controlling behaviors of all kinds. *Understand why this destructive pattern occurs. *Determine whether you are in danger and if your partner can change. *Protect yourself and your kids. *Find the support and resources you need. *Take action to improve or end your relationship. *Regain your freedom and independence.


Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess

Author: Dr. Caroline Leaf

Publisher: Baker Books

Published: 2021-03-02

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1493424017

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Toxic thoughts, depression, anxiety--our mental mess is frequently aggravated by a chaotic world and sustained by an inability to manage our runaway thoughts. But we shouldn't settle into this mental mess as if it's just our new normal. There's hope and help available to us--and the road to healthier thoughts and peak happiness may actually be shorter than you think. Backed by clinical research and illustrated with compelling case studies, Dr. Caroline Leaf provides a scientifically proven five-step plan to find and eliminate the root of anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts in your life so you can experience dramatically improved mental and physical health. In just 21 days, you can start to clean up your mental mess and be on the road to wholeness, peace, and happiness.


The Jealousy Cure

The Jealousy Cure

Author: Robert L. Leahy

Publisher: New Harbinger Publications

Published: 2018-03-01

Total Pages: 185

ISBN-13: 1626259771

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"The Jealousy Cure unlocks the positive power of jealousy for happy relationships." —Foreword Reviews "Solid counsel for those whose relationships are plagued by jealousy and the individuals it targets." —Library Journal starred review​ Could jealousy be a positive thing? In this groundbreaking book, Robert L. Leahy—author of the hugely popular self-help guide, The Worry Cure—invites you to gain a greater understanding of your jealous feelings, keep jealousy from hijacking your life, and create healthier relationships. We’ve all heard tales of the overly jealous spouse or significant other. Maybe we’ve even been that jealous person, though we may not want to admit it. It’s hard to imagine anyone sailing through life without either having feelings of jealousy or being the target of someone’s jealousy. But what if jealousy isn’t just a neurotic weakness? What if it signals that your relationship matters to you? In short—what if jealousy serves a purpose? In The Jealousy Cure, renowned psychologist Robert L. Leahy takes a more nuanced approach to tackling feelings of jealousy. In this compelling book, you’ll uncover the evolutionary origins of jealousy, and how and why it’s served to help us as a species. You’ll also learn practices based in emotional schema theory, cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), and mindfulness to help you overcome the shame jealousy can bring, improve communication with your partner, and ultimately make room for jealousy while also making your relationship more meaningful. You will learn that confronting jealousy in your relationship does not have to be a catastrophe, but can redirect you and your partner to build more trust, acceptance, and connection. We often feel jealous because we fear losing the things or people that matter to us the most. With this insightful guide, you’ll discover how jealousy can both help and hurt your relationship, and learn proven-effective skills to keep jealousy in its place. This book has been selected as an Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies Self-Help Book Recommendation— an honor bestowed on outstanding self-help books that are consistent with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) principles and that incorporate scientifically tested strategies for overcoming mental health difficulties. Used alone or in conjunction with therapy, our books offer powerful tools readers can use to jump-start changes in their lives.


Coercive Control

Coercive Control

Author: Evan Stark

Publisher: Oxford University Press

Published: 2009

Total Pages: 465

ISBN-13: 0195384040

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Drawing on cases, Stark identifies the problems with our current approach to domestic violence, outlines the components of coercive control, and then uses this alternate framework to analyse the cases of battered women charged with criminal offenses directed at their abusers.


How to Be an Adult in Relationships

How to Be an Adult in Relationships

Author: David Richo

Publisher: Shambhala Publications

Published: 2021-11-02

Total Pages: 313

ISBN-13: 1611809541

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This beloved book has touched hundreds of thousands of lives with its profound and actionable advice. Retaining the core message of becoming more mindful in our relationships, this edition includes new and revised material that addresses how we live and love today. A new preface touches on David Richo’s experience with the book over time and outlines the key updates, including attention to online dating and modern communication styles as well as new perspectives on anger and ending relationships. “Most people think of love as a feeling,” says Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships. Adult love is based on a mutual commitment to what Richo calls the “five A’s”: attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. Brimming with practical exercises for couples and singles, How to Be an Adult in Relationships offers heartening insights into a lifelong journey of love. Topics include: • Becoming conscious of our relationship patterns and how they relate to childhood • Recognizing and attracting someone who can show adult love • Understanding the phases relationships go through • Creating and maintaining healthy boundaries • Overcoming fears of abandonment and engulfment • Expressing anger and other emotions in adult and loving ways • Surviving break-ups with our self-esteem intact • Understanding love as a spiritual journey