Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old

Author: Steven Petrow

Publisher: Citadel

Published: 2021-06-29

Total Pages: 274

ISBN-13: 0806541008

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For fans of David Sedaris and Nora Ephron, a humorous, irreverent, and poignant look at the gifts, stereotypes, and inevitable challenges of aging, based on award-winning journalist Steven Petrow's wildly popular New York Times essay, "Things I'll Do Differently When I Get Old." Soon after his 50th birthday, Petrow began assembling a list of “things I won’t do when I get old”—mostly a catalog of all the things he thought his then 70-something year old parents were doing wrong. That list, which included “You won’t have to shout at me that I’m deaf,” and “I won’t blame the family dog for my incontinence,” became the basis of this rousing collection of do’s and don’ts, wills and won’ts that is equal parts hilarious, honest, and practical. The fact is, we don’t want to age the way previous generations did. “Old people” hoard. They bore relatives—and strangers alike—with tales of their aches and pains. They insist on driving long after they’ve become a danger to others (and themselves). They eat dinner at 4pm. They swear they don’t need a cane or walker (and guess what happens next). They never, ever apologize. But there is another way... In Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old, Petrow candidly addresses the fears, frustrations, and stereotypes that accompany aging. He offers a blueprint for the new old age, and an understanding that aging and illness are not the same. As he writes, “I meant the list to serve as a pointed reminder—to me—to make different choices when I eventually cross the threshold to ‘old.’” Getting older is a privilege. This essential guide reveals how to do it with grace, wisdom, humor, and hope. And without hoarding. Praise for Stupid Things I Won't Do When I Get Old: “Unbelievably witty and relatable, I alternated bursting into laughter and placing my hand over my face in horror thinking, Oh my God, is that me? I often say, at this age we have something young people can never have…wisdom. My dear friend, Steven Petrow, has wisdom to share in this honest, funny, wry guide to keep us young at heart, without desperately hanging onto our youth. I am buying this book for all of my friends!” —Suzanne Somers, New York Times bestselling author of A New Way to Age “Stupid Things I Won’t Do When I Get Old is an irreverent, funny, honest look at aging and all the things we take for granted as normal parts of aging. They don’t need to be. If you struggle with getting older and want to find a fresh perspective on lessons learned about what NOT to do as we age, and what TO do to stay young in heart, spirit, mind and body, read this book.” —Mark Hyman, MD, #1 New York Times bestseller author of The Blood Sugar Solution 10-Day Detox Diet, and Head of Strategy and Innovation at the Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine. “Steven Petrow resolved to do things differently than his parents had when he gets old because he wished they’d been able to enjoy life more. His solution? He created a list! In this book, he shares the secrets to living a full life regardless of our age. It's all about the decisions we make every day. My advice in a nutshell: Read this book and keep it handy.” —“Dear Abby” (Jeanne Phillips), nationally syndicated advice columnist “It’s never too early to imagine what your life will look like as you age. And as I once wrote, ‘We are not hostages to our fate.’ Petrow’s book will help you plan, think, and redefine what it means to get older—and even laugh while doing it.” —Andrew Weil, MD, New York Times bestselling author of Spontaneous Healing and Healthy Aging: A Lifelong Guide to Your Well-Being “Steven Petrow not only has a great attitude about life, he is wise about how to live it. Like me, he says we should embrace our one life 100% and not let a number—our age—get in the way of anything! Steven’s book will help you rethink the word “aging” and approach this next chapter with a positive and proactive attitude. Plus, this book is fun!” —Denise Austin, renowned fitness expert, author, and columnist “Steven’s writing feels like sitting with a friend—one who is unusually gracious, warm and frank.” —Carolyn Hax, author of the nationally syndicated advice column, Carolyn Hax Praise for Steven Petrow: "Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners helps gays and straights navigate the subtleties of the same-sex world." —People "Move over, Emily Post! When it comes to etiquette for members of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community—as well as their straight friends, family members and coworkers--author and journalist Steven Petrow is the authority." —TIME "What could've easily become a novelty book has emerged as an exhaustively researched, essential resource thanks to advice columnist and etiquette expert Steven Petrow." —The Advocate "From having kids to planning funerals, Steven Petrow's Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners has most facets of gay life covered. Ms. Post would approve." —Entertainment Weekly "An indispensable refresher course...on what's proper in modern...life." —Kirkus Reviews


The Help

The Help

Author: Kathryn Stockett

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2011

Total Pages: 546

ISBN-13: 0425245136

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Original publication and copyright date: 2009.


On the Plus Side

On the Plus Side

Author: Tabatha Vargo

Publisher: Tabatha Vargo

Published: 2013-01-26

Total Pages: 632

ISBN-13: 1481870912

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Big girls need love, too, but at what cost? Lilly Sheffield is loaded, not only with money but with weight. Both things she could do without. But even with her undesired millionaire status, she doesn’t hold on to false hopes of finding true love. So when a sexy stranger comes into her life dripping with seduction, she finds it hard to resist. The bigger they are the harder they fall and Lilly falls straight through the floor in love with Mr. Sexy. Too bad he’s there for all the wrong reasons. The chance of losing everything will make you do crazy things, and Devin Michaels is willing to do whatever it takes to keep his life together. All seems lost when out of nowhere he’s approached by a Millionaire Momma with an offer he can’t refuse. But even a womanizer like Devin has a heart and when the short, chunky girl with the carefree attitude breaks through his icy façade, he finds that losing everything takes on a whole new meaning.


Straight to Hell

Straight to Hell

Author: John LeFevre

Publisher: Open Road + Grove/Atlantic

Published: 2015-07-14

Total Pages: 284

ISBN-13: 0802192084

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The hilarious New York Times bestseller “sharply observes the lives of globe-trotting, overindulging investment bankers” (Entertainment Weekly). “Some chick asked me what I would do with 10 million bucks. I told her I’d wonder where the rest of my money went.” —@GSElevator For three years, the notorious @GSElevator Twitter feed offered a hilarious, shamelessly voyeuristic look into the real world of international finance. Hundreds of thousands followed the account, Goldman Sachs launched an internal investigation, and when the true identity of the man behind it all was revealed, it created a national media sensation—but that’s only part of the story. Where @GSElevator captured the essence of the banking elite with curated jokes and submissions overheard by readers, Straight to Hell adds John LeFevre’s own story—an unapologetic and darkly funny account of a career as a globe-conquering investment banker spanning New York, London, and Hong Kong. Straight to Hell pulls back the curtain on a world that is both hated and envied, taking readers from the trading floors and roadshows to private planes and after-hours overindulgence. Full of shocking lawlessness, boyish antics, and win-at-all-costs schemes, this is the definitive take on the deviant, dysfunctional, and absolutely excessive world of finance. “Shocking and sordid—and so much fun.” —Daily News (New York) “LeFevre’s workplace anecdotes include tales of nastiness, sabotage, favoritism, sexism, racism, expense-account padding, and legally questionable collusion.” —The New Yorker


The Day the Crayons Came Home

The Day the Crayons Came Home

Author: Drew Daywalt

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2015-08-18

Total Pages: 48

ISBN-13: 0698182383

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The companion to the #1 blockbuster bestseller, The Day the Crayons Quit! “Highly anticipated (yes, even for adults)” —Entertainment Weekly I'm not sure what it is about this kid Duncan, but his crayons sure are a colorful bunch of characters! Having soothed the hurt feelings of one group who threatened to quit, Duncan now faces a whole new group of crayons asking to be rescued. From Maroon Crayon, who was lost beneath the sofa cushions and then broken in two after Dad sat on him; to poor Turquoise, whose head is now stuck to one of Duncan's stinky socks after they both ended up in the dryer together; to Pea Green, who knows darn well that no kid likes peas and who ran away—each and every crayon has a woeful tale to tell and a plea to be brought home to the crayon box. Praise for The Day the Crayons Came Home "Mr. Daywalt’s text blends with Mr. Jeffers’s illustrations to make a picture book that will have children clamoring for more crayon adventures."—The Wall Street Journal * "A masterwork of humor and design . . . Sure to be as popular as The Day the Crayons Quit."—Booklist, starred review * "A brilliant, colorful tale that begs to be read aloud and a must-have for all collections."—School Library Journal, starred review * "Once again, Daywalt and Jeffers create rich emotional lives and personalities for their colorful cast, and it’s hard to imagine a reader who won’t be delighted."—Publishers Weekly, starred review “Drew Daywalt and Oliver Jeffers once again offer perceptive and frequently hilarious insights…The Day the Crayons Came Home will have readers of all ages chuckling—and will inspire kids’ empathy and imagination in equal measure.”—BookPage Praise for The Day the Crayons Quit The #1 New York Times bestselling phenomenon—over two years on the bestseller list! Winner of the E.B. White Read-Aloud Award Amazon’s 2013 Best Picture Book of the Year A Barnes & Noble Best Book of 2013 Goodreads’ 2013 Best Picture Book of the Year * “Hilarious . . . Move over, Click, Clack, Moo; we’ve got a new contender for the most successful picture-book strike.” –BCCB, starred review “Jeffers . . . elevates crayon drawing to remarkable heights.” –Booklist “Fresh and funny.” –The Wall Street Journal "This book will have children asking to have it read again and again.” –Library Media Connection * “This colorful title should make for an uproarious storytime.” –School Library Journal, starred review * “These memorable personalities will leave readers glancing apprehensively at their own crayon boxes.” –Publishers Weekly, starred review “Utterly original.” –San Francisco Chronicle


Clover Blue

Clover Blue

Author: Eldonna Edwards

Publisher: A John Scognamiglio Book

Published: 2019-05-28

Total Pages: 354

ISBN-13: 1496712919

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Set against the backdrop of a 1970s commune in Northern California, Clover Blue is a compelling, beautifully written story of a young boy’s search for identity. There are many things twelve-year-old Clover Blue isn’t sure of: his exact date of birth, his name before he was adopted into the Saffron Freedom Community, or who his first parents were. What he does know with certainty is that among this close-knit, nature-loving group, he is happy. Here, everyone is family, regardless of their disparate backgrounds—surfer, midwife, Grateful Dead groupie, Vietnam deserter. But despite his loyalty to the commune and its guru-like founder Goji, Blue grapples with invisible ties toward another family—the one he doesn’t remember. With the urging of his fearless and funny best friend, Harmony, Clover Blue begins to ask questions. For the first time, Goji’s answers fail to satisfy. The passing months bring upheaval to their little clan and another member arrives, a beautiful runaway teen named Rain, sparking new tensions. As secrets slowly unfurl, Blue’s beliefs—about Goji, the guidelines that govern their seemingly idyllic lives, and the nature of family itself—begin to shift. With each revelation about a heartbreaking past he never imagined, Blue faces a choice between those he’s always trusted, and an uncertain future where he must risk everything in his quest for the truth.


The Promise

The Promise

Author: Beth Wiseman

Publisher: Thomas Nelson

Published: 2014-10-07

Total Pages: 320

ISBN-13: 1401685994

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Mallory’s search for happiness leads her to a faraway place. There she finds heartache, betrayal—and danger. Mallory Hammond is determined that no one will stand in the way of her goal—to save a life. She had that chance years ago, and she failed to take it, leaving her adrift and in search of the real meaning of her life. Finally, she meets a man online from a volatile corner of the world who offers her the chance to find that purpose. But she will have to leave everyone she loves behind in order to take it. Tate Webber has loved Mallory for many years. He understands that Mallory will never be happy with him until her deepest heart’s desire is satisfied. When Mallory decides to travel across the world to fulfi ll her dreams, Tate begs her not to go but tries to give her the space she needs. Mallory embarks on her dangerous journey only to discover how swiftly and easily promises can be broken. And Mallory can only pray that she will make it out alive. Inspired by actual events, The Promise is a riveting love story that asks the question: how far will we go for love? “Takes readers to a place where promises mean something very different than expected, and where her protagonist realizes that the life that needs saving is her own. . . . Wiseman draws readers into a world of deception, danger, and defiance. Readers will feel the anguish of Mallory’s loved ones as they pray for her to make it home.” —Booklist


The First Affair

The First Affair

Author: Emma McLaughlin

Publisher: Simon and Schuster

Published: 2013-08-27

Total Pages: 257

ISBN-13: 145164342X

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A woman recounts her summer internship at the White House during which she engaged in an affair with the president of the United States that, when exposed, destroyed her and the presidency, and tries to make sense of her actions.


The Reluctant Duchess (Ladies of the Manor Book #2)

The Reluctant Duchess (Ladies of the Manor Book #2)

Author: Roseanna M. White

Publisher: Baker Books

Published: 2016-04-05

Total Pages: 400

ISBN-13: 1441229450

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A Riveting Edwardian Series Set among Britain's High Society Lady Rowena Kinnaird may be the heiress to a Highland earldom, but she has never felt good enough--not for her father, not for the man she thought she'd marry, not for God. But after a shocking attack, she's willing to be forever an outcast if it means escaping Loch Morar. Brice Myerston, the Duke of Nottingham, has found himself in possession of a rare treasure his enemies are prepared to kill for. While Brice has never been one to shy away from manor-born ladies, the last thing he needs is the distraction of Lady Rowena, who finds herself in a desperate situation. But when Rowena's father tries to trap Brice into marrying his daughter, Brice makes a surprising decision. Rowena wanted to escape the Highlands, but she's reluctant to marry a notorious flirt. And when she learns that Brice is mixed up in questionable business with a stolen treasure, she fears she's about to end up directly in the path of everything she was trying to avoid.


The 10 Laws of Career Reinvention

The 10 Laws of Career Reinvention

Author: Pamela Mitchell

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2009-12-31

Total Pages: 315

ISBN-13: 1101171170

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Reinvention is the key to success in these volatile times—and Pamela Mitchell holds the key to reinvention! In The 10 Laws of Career Reinvention, America's Reinvention Coach® Pamela Mitchell offers every tool readers need to navigate the full arc of career change. Part I introduces the Reinvention Mindset, with what you need to know to be prepared mentally to get started. In Part II, you read the real-life stories of ten individuals who successfully made the leap to new and unexpected careers, using the 10 laws: The 1st Law: It Starts With a Vision for Your Life The 2nd Law: Your Body Is Your Best Guide The 3rd Law: Progress Begins When You Stop Making Excuses The 4th Law: What You Seek is on the Road Less Traveled The 5th Law: You’ve Got the Tools in Your Toolbox The 6th Law: Your Reinvention Board is Your Lifeline The 7th Law: Only a Native Can Give You the Inside Scoop The 8th Law: They Won't "Get" You Until You Speak Their Language The 9th Law: It Takes the Time That it Takes The 10th Law: The World Buys Into an Aura of Success Each story is followed by an in-depth lesson that explains how to adapt these laws to your own career goals, and what actions and precautions to take. The lessons answer all your tactical concerns about navigating the roadblocks, getting traction and managing your fears. The final section provides workbook exercises for fine-tuning your reinvention strategies for maximum results. Clear-headed, calming, practical, and thorough, this is the ideal action plan for getting through any career crisis and ending up securely in the lifestyle you've always dreamed of having.