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Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
Published: 2014-02-04
Total Pages: 385
ISBN-13: 0802735223
DOWNLOAD EBOOKNow acclimated to life as a thirteen-year-old Earthling, Dirk Lloyd has contacted his home in the Darklands but so has his friend Sooz, who is forming her own alliances.
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
Published: 2014-01-07
Total Pages: 321
ISBN-13: 080273541X
DOWNLOAD EBOOKEvil Dark Lord tries to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands when an arch-foe transports him to a small town, into the body of a thirteen-year-old boy.
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Orchard Books
Published: 2011-10-06
Total Pages: 191
ISBN-13: 1408316552
DOWNLOAD EBOOKWinner of the 2012 Roald Dahl Funny Prize! Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands... Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to. Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan... But that's for book 2 Roald Dahl Prize winner, 2012.
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Hachette UK
Published: 2012-03-01
Total Pages: 251
ISBN-13: 1408316560
DOWNLOAD EBOOKDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Sooz, a 13 yr old girl from Surrey has become the Dark Mistress of Dirk's other worldly kingdom, the Darklands. Thanks to the Ring of Power given to her by Dirk, his minions recognise her as their ruler. Sooz immediately sets about redecorating Dirk's Dark Tower to the taste of a young girl. But Sooz has to face her toughest challenge when an army of fanatical paladins and orcs gather to march against her. Despite their centuries of hostility to each other, they prefer to form an alliance rather than accept Sooz's new regime. And what of Dirk? He continues on slaving away at school, plotting ways to rescue Sooz. Eventually he is able to advise her on life in the Darklands and Sooz is able to hold back the fanatical paladins.
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Orchard Books
Published: 2017-02-09
Total Pages: 132
ISBN-13: 1408341433
DOWNLOAD EBOOKDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the boy of a weedy schoolboy, returns in a darkly hilarious adventure set in the most ghoulish school you'll encounter this side of the Darklands ... Fourth in the brilliant series that began with the Roald Dahl Funny Prize-winning DARK LORD: THE TEENAGE YEARS, also chosen as one of the Sunday Times's 100 Modern Children Classics. Perfect for fans of Philip Reeve and David Walliams.
Author: Sarah Jean Horwitz
Publisher: Algonquin Young Readers
Published: 2019-10-01
Total Pages: 337
ISBN-13: 1616208945
DOWNLOAD EBOOKThe new face of big evil is a little . . . small. Dastardly deeds aren’t exactly the first things that come to mind when one hears the name “Clementine,” but as the sole heir of the infamous Dark Lord Elithor, twelve-year-old Clementine Morcerous has been groomed since birth to be the best (worst?) Evil Overlord she can be. But everything changes the day her father is cursed by a mysterious rival. Now, Clementine must not only search for a way to break the curse, but also take on the full responsibilities of the Dark Lord. But when it’s time for her to perform dastardly deeds against the townspeople—including her brand-new friends—she begins to question her father’s code of good and evil. What if the Dark Lord Clementine doesn’t want to be a dark lord after all?
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Orchard Books
Published: 2014-04-03
Total Pages: 173
ISBN-13: 1408330288
DOWNLOAD EBOOKDirk Lloyd, the Dark Lord trapped in the body of a weedy schoolboy, returns in another darkly hilarious adventure... Brilliantly funny and subversive, this is the Funny Prize-winning Jamie Thomson at his best. Fear me, o miserable worm! I, the Great Dirk, take up my pen once more to record the utter misery that is SCHOOL. My sworn enemy, Hasdruban the White, has infiltrated Whiteshields School and seeks vengeance on me. Naturally, I will triumph. But it is the Dirkest Hour indeed... BUY THIS BOOK OR SUFFER ONE OF THE FOLLOWING: -Being struck with a Blast of Ravening Flame -Banishment to the Slave Pits of Never Ending Toil -Torment by the Hewer of Limbs THE CHOICE IS YOURS. MWA HA HA!
Author: Diana Wynne Jones
Publisher: Harper Collins
Published: 2012-09-25
Total Pages: 532
ISBN-13: 0062244566
DOWNLOAD EBOOKMr. Chesney operates Pilgrim Parties, a tour group that takes paying participants into an outer realm where the inhabitants play frightening and foreboding roles. The time has come to end the staged madness . . . but can it really be stopped? Master storyteller Diana Wynne Jones serves up twists and turns, introduces Querida, Derk, Blade, and Shona and a remarkable cast of wizards, soldiers, kings, dragons, and griffins, and mixes in a lively dash of humor. With all the ingredients of high fantasy, this unforgettable novel will delight fans old and new.
Author: Jamie Thomson
Publisher: Orchard Books
Published: 2011
Total Pages: 0
ISBN-13: 9781408315118
DOWNLOAD EBOOK13-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation.
Author: Mike Johnston
Publisher: Penguin
Published: 2020-01-28
Total Pages: 354
ISBN-13: 1524740810
DOWNLOAD EBOOKDespicable Me meets Diary of a Wimpy Kid in this hilarious illustrated middle grade adventure that follows a hapless warlock-in-training as he struggles to live up to his great and terrible destiny. Meet Wick. He's the son of the Dark Lord, heir to the throne of black and broken glass, and next in line to be the leader of the Grim World. Too bad he's stuck in Remedial Spell Casting (he can barely even cast the fart-revealer spell), he's allergic to fire and brimstone, and the bullies at school insist on calling him Dork Lord. Full of humor, hijinks, and lively illustrations, Confessions of a Dork Lord follows Wick through the pages of his journal as he comes up with a genius plan to defeat his foes, achieve greatness . . . and survive Middle Ages School. "I loved every page, and your kid will too!" --Melissa de la Cruz, bestselling author of the Descendants series "It's not easy being bad. But this book will give you a head start." --Pseudonymous Bosch, bestselling author of the Secret series "Hilarious! Not to be missed!" --Eoin Colfer, bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series
