It's back. And it's more awkward than ever. Ever been screwed over by predictive text on your smart phone? You are not alone. Damn You, Autocorrect! 2 brings together more of the laugh-out-loud funny and painfully embarrassing posts from the hit website, which highlight the hilarity that often ensues when text messaging goes wrong. This second volume of epic autocorrect fails is packed with never-before-seen content, as well as the most cringe-worthy posts from Damnyouautocorrect.com. READ THIS BOOK BEFORE YOU HIT SEND.
Sh#@ Your Phone Says "Damn You, Autocorrect!" If you own an iPhone, BlackBerry, Droid, or any smartphone, there's a good chance you've screamed that phrase out at least once. In Damn You, Autocorrect!, pop-culture blogger Jillian Madison shows you are not alone. Filled with submissions from readers of her popular website, this laugh-out-loud funny book features cringe-worthy exchanges with parents, friends, significant others, and co-workers that contain some of the most unintentionally hilarious--and mortifying--mistakes ever caused by Autocorrect. Inside, you'll find a husband who tells his wife that he just "laid" (paid) the babysitter, a dad who tells his daughter that he and her mom are going to "divorce" (Disney), and many more epic texting fails too raunchy to list here. Whether you love technology, texting humor, or taking just a little bit of pleasure in the misfortune of others, Damn You, Autocorrect! will leave you laughing until you cry, and thankful that nothing this embarrassing has happened to you. Yet.
Chances are, whether you're a seasoned author or an aspiring scribe, you've grappled with your share of rejection, setbacks, and heartbreak. However, literary agents say the number one key to writing success is perseverance in the face of disappointment. Daily Writing Resilience provides advice, inspiration, and techniques to help you turn roadblocks into steppingstones. You'll find tips and support through exercises such as meditation, breath work, yoga, stress management, gratitude, de-cluttering, sleep, exercise, mindful eating, and more. These 365 meditations will help you navigate the ups-and-downs of your writing practice, creating positive habits that will guide you toward the success and fulfillment that you've been seeking. Praise: "This must-have collection of inspirational nuggets will nudge you free of writer's block. Even if you're not blocked, a morning commune with some of writing's great minds will put you in the right creative space."—Sara Gruen, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Water for Elephants "Every person with that little voice in their head—the one that tells them to write everyday—must own this book. Every page is full of hope and reality, just what we all need to keep us going."—Steve Berry, New York Times and # 1 Internationally bestselling author of The Patriot Threat "For every type of writer—new, old, fresh, tired, impassioned, cynical, hopeful . . . this gem is flat out inspiring."—M.J. Rose, New York Times bestselling author of The Secret Language of Stones "Bryan Robinson's Daily Writing Resilience is not only wise but also marvelously practical. The daily mantras he offers, taken from the experiences of those who've kept to the path, will provide much needed encouragement along the way. Take this book to heart, and then take it with you wherever you go."—William Kent Krueger, New York Times bestselling author of the multi-award winning Ordinary Grace and the Cork O'Connor series "You don't have to be a writer to treasure Daily Writing Resilience, a unique and uplifting meditation book. It's chock-full of insights so profound you'll be tempted to gobble it up in one bite!"—Cassandra King, author of The Sunday Wife and Moonrise "I urge both fledgling and experienced writers to get their hands on Daily Writing Resilience and keep it nearby for handy reference. Bryan Robinson knows his way around the head and heart of the working writer, and this book is a wonderful companion and a balm to the writer's soul."—John Lescroart, New York Times bestselling author "At last! A real tool for real writers, a reference book that should be on every writer's desk next to their Thesaurus and Strunk & White Elements of Style. A practical guide that can be used as a daily devotional or motivational tool to hold your hand, to guide you, to encourage you, and to pull you back from the ledge."—Karen White, New York Times bestselling author of Flight Patterns A 2018 Killer Nashville Silver Falchion Award Finalist A 2018 Top Shelf Magazine Indie Book Award Finalist
This proven bestseller is fully updated and better than ever! Now in its fourth edition, Blogging For Dummies is fully updated and more practical than ever for today's bloggers. Whether you're just beginning or are already a full-tilt blogging maven, you'll find the up-to-date information you need in these friendly pages. Want to integrate your blog with social media? Jump into the fast-moving world of microblogging on Twitter or Tumblr? Choose which blogging software to use? Optimize your current blog for search? This detailed book guide covers it all, and then some. Buy the book, build a better blog, and blog about it! Provides up-to-date information on blogging software choices and utilities Explains how to identify your unique niche and attract readers Walks you through setting up an account and writing your first post Shows you how to optimize your blog for search, so new readers find you Helps you integrate your blog with social media Reveals what you need to know to start microblogging on Twitter or Tumblr Explores the ways you can make money with your blog Start a conversation with the very latest blog-building tips and techniques in Blogging For Dummies.
This book provides a comprehensive linguistic exploration of textism use by bilingual young adults, illustrating the function of alternative and creative linguistic features and their role in conveying tone through text. Drawing on a corpus of nearly 45,000 text messages donated by bilingual young adults in New York City, this volume explores the ways in which the use of texting features such as ‘lol,’ emojis, abbreviations, and acronyms is systematic and essential. In part, toward the aim of exposing the tensions bilinguals face navigating a platform that preferences monolingual language practices, the book highlights creativity as a means of both constructing meaning and performing identity for bilingual youths. These findings are extended to explore the role texting plays in communication and identity construction in contemporary society more generally. This volume extends the boundaries of emerging research on language and digital communication, and will be of particular interest to graduate students and scholars in computer-mediated communication, pragmatics, and new media.
WARNING: This book contains laugh-out-loud jokes about fake tans, vajazzles and all fings Essex Forget the Rolex or the flash car, what you really need in your life to make your friends well jel is The Essex Joke Book. It’s packed full of bling-tastic banter, racy rib-ticklers and gob-smackingly good gags all about Essex Girls and Boys, their tans and tribulations, conquests and cock-ups, and more. How can you tell an Essex Girl has been using her iPad? There’s Tipp-Ex on the screen. What do you call the skeleton of an Essex Boy in a wardrobe? Last year’s hide-and-seek champion. What goes blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette? An Essex Girl doing naked cartwheels. An Essex Girl gets a job as a teacher. She notices a boy in the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. ‘You can go and play with the other kids, you know,’ she says. ‘It’s best I stay here,’ he says. ‘Why?’ asks the Essex Girl. The boy says: ‘Because I’m the f**king goalkeeper.’
This book constitutes the thoroughly refereed post-workshop proceedings of the 24 th International Workshop on Securit Protocols, held in Brno, Czech Republic, in April 2016. The 13 thoroughly revised papers presented together with the respective transcripts of discussions have been carefully reviewed. The theme of the workshop was Evolving Security - considering that security protocols evolve with their changing requirements, their changing mechanisms and attackers' changing agendas and capabilities.
“There has never been a guide as comprehensive as this to writing in all its forms. . . . Useful, clear and encyclopedic, this book is an essential guide for every household.”—Examiner Need to know how to format your résumé for that job application? How do you write a cover letter that will stand out? Wondering how to request a letter of recommendation for graduate school? Trying to craft a get-well note that will really help? How informal is too informal when instant messaging in the office? What do you write on the website for your small business? What should you say in a wedding invitation? Or a divorce announcement? With over 200 how-to entries and easy-to-use models organized into three comprehensive sections on work, school, and personal life, How to Write Anything covers a wide range of topics that make it an essential guide for the whole family.
WordPress can hold everything from a simple blog to a full-blown, dynamic website, but the program's rich feature set can be difficult to master. This jargon-free book walks through the process of creating a WordPress site, from beginners to experienced WordPress users.
Jeremy Monteiro is a thinker and observer. He likes to think about music, life, people and human existence, and he loves to observe human behaviour. He loves people, loves to tell stories and share experiences. From his formidable virtuosity on the piano where he communicates non-verbally, to the stories he tells on stage at his many packed concerts and jazz club shows, he keeps his audiences in rapt attention. His Facebook and blog posts attract thousands of “Likes” and comments, often becoming their own lively discussion forums. In this book, Jeremy revisits, rewrites and updates many of his postings along with many new thoughts and stories. Sometimes thoughtful and sometimes silly, sometimes serious and sometimes irreverent, Jeremy writes with the confidence of one who has seen his fair share of ups and downs in life and is not afraid to speak his mind, while always observing his personal guiding light of fair comment. Going from fond reminiscences that tug at the heartstrings, to funny stories that will evoke a huge guffaw, the insightful essays in this volume takes you on a journey into the mind of one of Singapore’s most respected – and most loved – musicians.
