During his thirty-five-year law enforcement career, the author discovered that everyday police work, while sometimes stressful and even dangerous, has its moments of levity. Some of the stories he recalls herein are so hilarious they'll have you alternately laughing out loud and swearing they could never have happened. But they did. One thing is for sure: you will never regard law enforcement the same way again.
One of the most popular questions cops get asked is "What's the funniest thing that's ever happened to you on the job?" Well, we set out to gather a few funny stories from across North America and compiled them into this eBook with some stories you will want to read again and again to laugh at and share with your friends. So many times in the career of law enforcement officers, you end up saying "You just can't make this stuff up!" So, here are some insights as to the sorts of things that we have laid eyes on or experienced that we hope you'll enjoy! Please be aware that the stories in this book are REAL and some involve recounting nudity or other PG-16+ situations that you may want to consider if you find such real situations (that cops see and have to learn to laugh at) offensive.
An urgent, compact manifesto that will teach you how to protect your rights, your freedom, and your future when talking to police. Law professor James J. Duane became a viral sensation thanks to a 2008 lecture outlining the reasons why you should never agree to answer questions from the police--especially if you are innocent and wish to stay out of trouble with the law. In this timely, relevant, and pragmatic new book, he expands on that presentation, offering a vigorous defense of every citizen's constitutionally protected right to avoid self-incrimination. Getting a lawyer is not only the best policy, Professor Duane argues, it's also the advice law-enforcement professionals give their own kids. Using actual case histories of innocent men and women exonerated after decades in prison because of information they voluntarily gave to police, Professor Duane demonstrates the critical importance of a constitutional right not well or widely understood by the average American. Reflecting the most recent attitudes of the Supreme Court, Professor Duane argues that it is now even easier for police to use your own words against you. This lively and informative guide explains what everyone needs to know to protect themselves and those they love.
The most important speeches of America's "Great Communicator": Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency.
What goes on behind the closed doors of a police station? This is the eye-opening and hilarious memoirs of a Scottish cop. Funny situations, strange goings on, quirky characters, and the comical tales will have you in tears of laughter. "I laughed so hard the tears ran down my leg." Irish reader. "FIVE STAR RATING FOR THIS ONE. This is one of the best police books,it is very well written,very funny,and all believable. One book I did not want to come to the end of." - Amazon Customer. "Just the sort of book to curl up with in winter nights, just don't have a cup of tea in your hand, as your likely to spill it. Great to see the funny human side of the police. All politicians should read this book. Scottish banter at its very best!" - Kindle Customer. "I read this book on holiday and laughed out loud on my wee lounger all day. A must read, even more so if you have worked in any of the Emergency Services. Witty and funny and a great read to make you smile." - Fiona. Malky McEwan should be in every bookstore and at the top of every bestseller list.
Just in case anybody thought the 47 earlier novels in the 87th precinct were a fluke, McBain's gone and revitalized the routine with Nocturne"". -- The New York Times Book Review In Isola, the hours between midnight and dawn are usually a quiet time. But for 87th Precinct detectives Carella and Hawes, the murder of an old woman makes the wee hours anything but peaceful -- especially when they learn she was one of the greatest concert pianists of the century long vanished. Meanwhile 88th Precinct cop Fat Ollie Weeks has his own early morning nightmare: he's on the trail of three prep school boys and a crack dealer who spent the evening carving up a hooker.
After September 11, 2001 Las Vegas Police Sergeant Randy Sutton began soliciting writing from law enforcement officers-his goal being to bridge the gap between the police and those they serve, with a book that offers a broad and thoughtful look at the many facets of police life. Hundreds of active and former officers responded from all over the United States: men and women from big cities and small towns, some who had written professionally, but most for the first time. Sutton culled the selections into five categories: The Beat, Line of Duty, War Stories, Officer Down, and Ground Zero. The result is True Blue, a collection of funny, charming, exciting, haunting stories about murder investigations, missing children, bungling burglars, car chases, lonely and desperate shut-ins, routine traffic stops, officers killed in the line of duty, and the life-changing events of September 11. Here, officers reveal their emotions-fear and pride, joy and disgust, shame and love-as they recount the defining moments of their careers. In these stories, the heart and soul behind the badge shines through in unexpected ways. True Blue will change the way we think about the deeply human realm of police service.
A Mystery For the Ages! The Murder of Roger Ackroyd is the sixth novel by Agatha Christie and is considered her Magnum Opus; it was voted best crime novel of all time by the British Crime Writers’ Association. Agatha Christie has sold more books than any other author in history. The book opens shortly after the widow Mrs. Ferrars unexpectedly commits suicide. It is suspected that she committed suicide because she was being blackmailed over the manner in which her mean, abusive, alcoholic husband died. Her last action before killing herself was to send a letter to her fiancé Roger Ackroyd, a letter explaining why she could no longer live in her current situation and who is to blame for it. Shortly after receiving the letter Ackroyd is murdered, presumably by Mrs. Ferrars’ mysterious blackmailer. Enter Hercule Poirot, retired investigator and neighbor.
Dismissed by the police as mere adjuncts to or gofers for male gangs, girl gang members are in fact often as emotionally closed off and dangerous as their male counterparts. Carrying razor blades in their mouths and guns in their jackets for defense, they initiate drive-by shootings, carry out car jackings, stomp outsiders who stumble onto or dare to enter the neighborhood, viciously retaliate against other gangs and ferociously guard their home turf. But Sikes also captures the differences that distinguish girl gangs-abortion, teen pregnancy and teen motherhood, endless beatings and the humiliation of being forced to have sex with a lineup of male gangbangers during initiation, haphazardly raising kids in a household of drugs and guns with a part-time boyfriend off gangbanging himself. Veteran journalist Gini Sikes spends a year in the ghettos following the lives of several key gang members in South Central Los Angeles, San Antonio, and Milwaukee. In 8 Ball Chicks, we discover the fear and desperate desire for respect and status that drive girls into gangs in the first place--and the dreams and ambitions that occasionally help them to escape the catch-22 of their existence.
Jacobia “Jake” Tiptree traded her power-broker life for a run-down dream house in peaceful Eastport, Maine. But the do-it-yourself enthusiast is learning that no matter how carefully you build your home, murder has a way of slipping in through the cracks…. It’s a bright June afternoon and old-house-fixer-upper Jake Tiptree is driving through downeast Maine on an unusual errand. She’s getting ready to interview a large, angry man with a criminal history. Jim Diamond may or may not be harassing his ex-wife with life-threatening letters, but Jake promised her new housekeeper, Bella Diamond, she’d look into the matter. An ex-con and a deadbeat, Jim Diamond doesn’t have a history of violence…that is, not until Jake arrives at his apartment and discovers that a killer has been there first. Suddenly Jake and her best friend, Ellie White, find themselves at the center of a murder with too many suspects and too few clues. And as if that’s not enough, Jake is now saddled with the manic Bella, whose certainty that she’ll be the next victim is fueling a supercompulsive neatness–one that threatens to clean Jake and her long-suffering husband, Wade, out of house and home. Add to that a moose in her kitchen, a rebellious son with a habit of dumping Miss Right for Miss Wrong, and a troublesome ex of her own, and Jake is already at wit’s end. Then she gets word that a horde of her dad’s long-lost relatives mean to descend on Eastport, intending to be put up at her far-from-fixed-up fixer-upper. When the killer does strike again, it’s not where Jake expects…and the victim couldn’t be more of a surprise. For this is a case bigger than the usual angry—ex-spouse variety, and now that Jake and Ellie have gotten themselves involved, they’ve each won a special place in a ruthless murderer’s master plan of greed, deception, and death. And the prize? A pair of eternally private rooms–six feet under!
