#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • From the author of Small Great Things and A Spark of Light comes a “powerful” (The Washington Post) novel about the choices that alter the course of our lives. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY MARIE CLAIRE Everything changes in a single moment for Dawn Edelstein. She’s on a plane when the flight attendant makes an announcement: Prepare for a crash landing. She braces herself as thoughts flash through her mind. The shocking thing is, the thoughts are not of her husband but of a man she last saw fifteen years ago: Wyatt Armstrong. Dawn, miraculously, survives the crash, but so do all the doubts that have suddenly been raised. She has led a good life. Back in Boston, there is her husband, Brian, their beloved daughter, and her work as a death doula, in which she helps ease the transition between life and death for her clients. But somewhere in Egypt is Wyatt Armstrong, who works as an archaeologist unearthing ancient burial sites, a career Dawn once studied for but was forced to abandon when life suddenly intervened. And now, when it seems that fate is offering her second chances, she is not as sure of the choice she once made. After the crash landing, the airline ensures that the survivors are seen by a doctor, then offers transportation to wherever they want to go. The obvious destination is to fly home, but she could take another path: return to the archaeological site she left years before, reconnect with Wyatt and their unresolved history, and maybe even complete her research on The Book of Two Ways—the first known map of the afterlife. As the story unfolds, Dawn’s two possible futures unspool side by side, as do the secrets and doubts long buried with them. Dawn must confront the questions she’s never truly asked: What does a life well lived look like? When we leave this earth, what do we leave behind? Do we make choices . . . or do our choices make us? And who would you be if you hadn’t turned out to be the person you are right now?
For over fifty years we have studied destructive and self-destructive sadomasochistic behavior in individuals, from failure-to-thrive infants to uncontrolled violence in children, to murder and suicide in adolescents and adults. In ordinary clinical work, all the patients we see present with some degree of sadomasochistic functioning, no matter what the diagnosis. Repetitive, resistant, self-defeating functioning, stalling or impasse in the clinical relationship - these form the arena for most analytic endeavors. In our writings on these topics, we have particularly highlighted traumatic origins, helplessness, overwhelming rage, the impact of preoedipal, oedipal, and post-oedipal pathology, terror of affects and excitement, tyrannical superego, and the constant danger of self-destruction. In this book we hope to present in summary form the basic ideas that have emerged from this work. Rather than detail the arguments, rationales, and underpinnings here, we will direct the reader to those in various other, more extensive discussions. Here we will bring into one place statements and descriptions of how our model of two systems of self-regulation has worked for us to generate a fruitful perspective on development and clinical technique. Part I of the book will take us through developmental phases from pregnancy to old age. In Part II we will turn to descriptions of how our two-systems model can inform and enhance clinical technique in therapies of various kinds.
Whether we're buying a pair of jeans, ordering a cup of coffee, selecting a long-distance carrier, applying to college, choosing a doctor, or setting up a 401(k), everyday decisions—both big and small—have become increasingly complex due to the overwhelming abundance of choice with which we are presented. As Americans, we assume that more choice means better options and greater satisfaction. But beware of excessive choice: choice overload can make you question the decisions you make before you even make them, it can set you up for unrealistically high expectations, and it can make you blame yourself for any and all failures. In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis, anxiety, and perpetual stress. And, in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression. In The Paradox of Choice, Barry Schwartz explains at what point choice—the hallmark of individual freedom and self-determination that we so cherish—becomes detrimental to our psychological and emotional well-being. In accessible, engaging, and anecdotal prose, Schwartz shows how the dramatic explosion in choice—from the mundane to the profound challenges of balancing career, family, and individual needs—has paradoxically become a problem instead of a solution. Schwartz also shows how our obsession with choice encourages us to seek that which makes us feel worse. By synthesizing current research in the social sciences, Schwartz makes the counter intuitive case that eliminating choices can greatly reduce the stress, anxiety, and busyness of our lives. He offers eleven practical steps on how to limit choices to a manageable number, have the discipline to focus on those that are important and ignore the rest, and ultimately derive greater satisfaction from the choices you have to make.
The Book of Proverbs is a gold mine of divine wisdom. Author and speaker Donna Gaines applies that wisdom in very practical ways to the issues women face. Choose Wisely, Live Fully examines the blessings and curses associated with the choices made by the two women in Proverbs: Wisdom and Folly. Gaines harnesses her two passions—discipleship and literacy—to challenge women of all ages to become “biblically literate.” Biblical illiteracy makes us vulnerable to influences that do not represent biblical truth. This book is a wonderful discipleship tool that will help equip you to: discern the voice of God and follow His path (the path of Wisdom instead of the path of Folly); experience the joy of wholehearted obedience; and let God help you mentor the lives around you in remarkable ways. Exploring the timeless counsel of God’s Word, Choose Wisely, Live Fully is your invitation to embark on the transforming journey of faithfulness as you seek God and boldly choose the path that leads to life. I love the Book of Proverbs. It weaves deep theology with the kind of practical handles a guy like me needs every single day. That’s also why I love Choose Wisely, Live Fully. Donna Gaines does a great job balancing the unvarnished truth of Scripture with real-life application. That powerful combination can change your life—and the lives of those you love. —Dave Ramsey, best-selling author and nationally syndicated radio show host Donna Gaines writes in a way that allows the reader to absorb profound truth deep into the heart, mind, and soul. She is a modern-day Deborah, declaring the Scriptures as the ultimate source of wisdom for every woman who dares to choose a life of no regrets. You will come away from these pages with full confidence in the love and sovereignty of God. —Diane Strack, speaker, teacher, co-founder of Student Leadership University, and author of New Start for Single Moms, Quiet Influence, and co-author of Good Kids Who Do Bad Things Choose Wisely, Live Fully creates a beautiful launching pad from which women can not only learn but also share biblical truths that have the capacity to change their lives and the lives of generations to come. Donna and her daughters share personal stories and godly wisdom that bring the book of Proverbs alive. A teacher at heart, Donna, skillfully equips women with practical tools to help those we love choose the path that leads to the abundant life Jesus promises. The path that will fill them with godly confidence, self-worth, purpose, and direction. —Wendy Blight, Author and writer for the Proverbs 31 Ministries First 5 app The Book of Proverbs is a book of wisdom that I have studied my entire life. Author Donna Gaines takes the lessons of Proverbs and gives anointed, spirit-filled insight on discipleship. Choose Wisely, Live Fully is a book that helps us to understand the wisdom of Proverbs and how to apply it to our everyday lives. This discipleship tool will challenge you personally and will strengthen you to mentor others to walk in wisdom. —Ellen Olford, Director of Women, Central Church Every choice we make has a correlating eternal consequence. In her powerful book, Choose Wisely, Live Fully, Donna Gaines challenges us in a fresh way to make wise decisions, choices that glorify God and yield blessings. Using the two women in Proverbs, Wisdom and Folly, she stirs within us a robust desire to walk in absolute obedience to the Word of God. This book is a must read for women who are ready to be stirred and changed; when you reach the last page, you will not be the same. —Dayna Street, Women’s Ministry Director, Bellevue Baptist Church Donna Gaines is a woman of the Word! In Choose Wisely, Live Fully, we are shown how to walk in obedience to the Lord and His Word in a world that is trying to pull us in the opposite direction. Donna offers practical ways on how to pursue a life of holiness and guides us in how to make wise choices in our everyday life. I look forward to using this book as a resource with discipleship groups in the future. —Kandi Gallaty, Co-Author of Foundations Choose Wisely, Live Fully by Donna Gaines is an eye-opening window to Proverbs for today’s generation. Donna’s teaching, inspired through the Holy Spirit, is simply stated yet life changing. I personally have read through the Book of Proverbs more times than I can count, however, Donna’s insights have given me a brand-new perspective with applications I had never considered. She has a gift of bringing truths to a new light, and that light points straight to our Creator. —Shari Falwell
