Build a High-Nurturance Stepfamily
Build a High-Nurturance Stepfamily

Author: Peter K. Gerlach

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2002-11

Total Pages: 517

ISBN-13: 1401038816

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Note: hyperlinks below will take you to the Break the Cycle! Website (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation") that this book and series are based on. Use your browser ́s "back" button to return to Xlibris. This is the fourth volume in a series of six dedicated to breaking the epidemic [wounds + unawareness] cycle that promotes America ́s tragic divorce divorce epidemic. The prior volume, Stepfamily Courtship (Xlibris.com, 2002), outlines seven Projects to help courting couples make wise commitment decisions. This book for stepfamily coparents and supporters adds five more projects based on the prior seven ones. If couples didn't do the prior projects (which is common), they can start the first six any time. A sobering reality: if either partner made any unwise courtship choices, it's unlikely that doing these other 11 Projects will guard them and their dependents from the five hazards that promote psychological or legal re/divorce. Nonetheless, working at the the projects will give minor kids their best chance at avoiding inherited psychological wounds, and passing them on to their descendents like their unaware ancestors did. The five post-re/wedding co-parenting projects are: 8) Nourish your re/marriage and steadily keep it your second priority, after personal integrity and wholistic health - except in emrgencies. In complex multi-home stepfamilies this is hard for many couples to do; as they 9) Merge three or more multi-generational biofamilies, and evolve strategies to resolve inevitable values and loyalty conflicts and Persecutor-Victim-Rescuer relationship triangles; while you 10) (a) Build a co-parenting team with your kids' "other parents," (b) stay current on your kids' progress with their many developmental and adjustment needs, and (c) continually adjust and refine your co-parenting "job descriptions" based on your stepfamily mission statement. Because all nine of these ongoing co-parent projects are complex, confusing, and conflictual 11) Intentionally build a support network for you and your kids, and use it regularly. Finally 12) Help each other (a) stay balanced personally, re/maritally, and co-parentally each day, and (b) enjoy this whole challenging, en

Stepfamily Courtship
Stepfamily Courtship

Author: Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2003-03-25

Total Pages: 571

ISBN-13: 1450059961

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What ́s Different about This Book? This modular reference book and series for co-parents and human-service professionals is unique in the genre of stepfamily media for seven reasons. It is the only current resource that... Is based on (a) 30 years ́ clinical research, including over 17,000 hours ́ consultation with over 1,000 typical divorced and stepfamily adults and some of their kids; (b) five widespread re/marital hazards, and (c) 12 Projects to neutralize the hazards. This volume... Integrates six core concepts: # proven family-systems principles; and... # an inner-family concept of human personalities, linked to... # a definition of high-nurturance families; # a framework of seven effective-thinking and communication skills, # healthy three-level grieving and healing blocked grief; and... # a framework of stepfamily realities, meanings, and merger-adjustment tasks. A fifth uniqueness is that the book... Provides Internet addresses to over 150 experience-based stepfamily articles, worksheets, and other resources to augment its contents. This is one of several guidebooks for a free, 8-module self-study course for people interested in healing and self-growth. Lesson 7 focuses on evolving high-nurturance stepfamilies. And this book is different because of... My personality, writing style, training (BSME and MSW), and 72 years ́ life experience (engineering, business, teaching, and 30 years ́ practice of psychotherapy with hundreds of stepfamily clients). My learnings from personal "ACoA" recovery (from a low-nurturance childhood) since 1986 greatly influence this site and series of stress-prevention guidebooks. And... I have many years of personal experience as a stepgrandson, adult stepson, stepfather of two girls, and stepbrother of four - and an admirer of two haughty stepcats.

Build a Co-parenting Team
Build a Co-parenting Team

Author: Peter K. Gerlach

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2003-03-23

Total Pages: 578

ISBN-13: 146910332X

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Note: links below connect to the non-profit educational Break the Cycle! Web site (Formerly "Stepfamily inFormation"). Close the pages or use your browsers "back" button to return here. Typical multi-home stepfamilies are riddled with conflicts between three or more co-parents and their relatives over child discipline, nutrition, visitations, custody, hygiene, religion, schooling, hoidays, loyalties, expenses, names, responsibilities, and other topics. The scope, complexity, and persistence of these disputes among ex mates, stepparents, and relatives can significantly contribute to eventual re/divorce. (The "/" notes it may be a stepparents first union). Thisguidebook is part of a series intended to help co-parents and supporters overcome five common hazards that combine to (1) promote epidemic U.S. re/divorce, and (2) pass on significant psychological wounds to vulnerable children. The hazards are: co-parents shared unawarenesses and ignorance of key information; plus... unseen psychological wounds from low-nurturance childhoods; plus... incomplete or blocked grief in kids and/or adults, which inhibits new bonds and adult intimacy; plus... courtship neediness and romantic illusions; plus... little informed stepfamily help in the media and local community. Typical nuclear stepfamilies include three or more co-parents (bioparents and stepparents) and several minor kids shuttling between two or more homes: Parenting effectively in this environment is far more complex than in "traditional" intact biological families - which catches typical co-parents and relatives by surprise. Why this book (and series)? Families exist to nurture - i.e. to fill key needs of their kids and adults. Most U.S. stepfamilies follow the divorce of one or both new mates, most of whom are parents. Divorce suggests that their kids werent well nurtured in their first family, and have many concurrent developmental + special needs to fill in their complex stepfamily.

Secrets to Stepfamily Success
Secrets to Stepfamily Success

Author: Gloria Lintermans

Publisher: Gloria Lintermans

Published: 2010-06

Total Pages: 314

ISBN-13: 1605944181

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THE SECRETS TO STEPFAMILY SUCCESS offers tools that can significantly lower the alarming 70% rate of step and blended family divorce, helping families evolve into highly nurturing, reliable refuges of warmth, safety, encouragement, strength, caring, and joy. Step and blended families have a unique dynamic with which couples must cope, along with all the other normal challenges of life and marriage. See how these families differ in up to sixty structural and dynamic ways from typical intact biological families--including consisting of two co-parenting homes and ex-spouses--and learn how to successfully recognize and manage these challenges. For most couples, trying to build a successful remarriage can mysteriously bring out their deepest personal fears, longings, shames, and hopes. The key to not only survival, but living this journey well, begins with discovering opportunities to heal and to succeed; it is not about blame or badness. With the right preparation and resources, a multi-home step or blended family can be a stable and solid foundation for co-parents and children. Gloria Lintermans is the author of THE HEALING POWER OF GRIEF: The Journey Through Loss to Life and Laughter, THE HEALING POWER OF LOVE: Transcending the Loss of a Spouse to New Love, THE NEWLY DIVORCED BOOK OF PROTOCOL: How to Be Civil When You Hate Their Guts, and RETCO CHIC: A Guide to Fabulous Vintage and Designer Resale Shopping in North America & Online. Her articles have appeared in local and national magazines, and she is a retired newspaper columnist whose column has been syndicated in English and Spanish language newspapers worldwide.

The Remarriage Book
The Remarriage Book

Author: Peter K. Gerlach, MSW

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

Published: 2003-04-14

Total Pages: 540

ISBN-13: 140104574X

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Note - links below will take you articles and resources in the nonprofit Break the Cycle! Web site (formerly "Stepfamily inFormation"). Use your browser´s "back" button to return to Xlibris.com. Love is not enough... Typical new stepparents and bioparents (co-parents) usually find that building a multi-home stepfamily is unexpectedly confusing and conflictual. Most recent stepfamily literature estimates that over half of American co-parents who attempt re/marriage after divorce or mate death ultimately re/divorce psychologically or legally - despite their love, maturity, commitment, and experience. The "/" notes that it may be a stepparent´s first union. This unique guidebook results from 27 years´ research into why so many U.S. couples re/divorce. It appears that there are five factors that combine to often defeat love´s brightest dreams: unseen psychological wounds from childhood in stepfamily adults and kids, and... blocked grief from two or three major sets of losses in some co-parents and/or stepkids; and... co-parent unawareness of (a) their inner family of subselves and related psychological wounds; (b) healthy grieving basics; (c) vital parenting and relationship skills and (d) stepfamily realities; and... These factors and high neediness causing one or both partners to commit to wounded, unaware people (mate + ex mate + stepkids), for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and... Little informed co-parent support available in the media and their community. My work as a stepfamily therapist since 1981 suggests that courting and re/married partners can work patiently at 12 Projects together to overcome these five re/marital hazards and forge a strong, nourishing re/marriage

Families in America
Families in America

Author: Jeffrey S. Turner

Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA

Published: 2002-06-22

Total Pages: 368

ISBN-13: 1576076296

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An in-depth and multifaceted examination of the contemporary American family, this introductory handbook is the only one of its kind and presents a solid, authoritative overview. There is little doubt that the American family has changed from colonial times to the present. But what have those changes been? How have family dynamics shifted to deal with the countless new looks of the American Family? In Families in America, author Jeffrey Scott Turner has written a current and complete work that will be of great interest to general audiences as well as students of psychology and sociology. This work sheds light on everything from multicultural family variations and reproductive technologies to families of divorce and blended families. The book is bolstered by chapters that cite recent and important books on family life, as well as a listing of educational videotapes on family life in America.

Strengthening Your Stepfamily
Strengthening Your Stepfamily

Author: Elizabeth Einstein

Publisher: Impact Pub

Published: 2005-11

Total Pages: 261

ISBN-13: 9781886230620

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One of three Americans is now a stepparent, a stepchild, a stepsibling, or some other member of a stepfamily. Stepfamilies are different. The "old rules" that govern traditional families don't necessarily apply, and each stepfamily must define its own "new rules" that will work for a unique blended family. Einstein and Albert bring to this manual decades of experience as stepfamily counselors and consultants, acclaimed writers, and stepparents themselves. The result is clear, down-to-earth, expert help for couple relationships and parenting in what some call "the jigsaw puzzle family." Among the many challenges dealt with in this comprehensive guidebook: overcoming unrealistic expectations, debunking myths, decision making, building effective communication, establishing sound discipline, handling stepsibling rivalry, working with non-custodial parents... and more.

Becoming A Stepfamily
Becoming A Stepfamily

Author: Patricia L. Papernow

Publisher: CRC Press

Published: 2015-07-17

Total Pages: 449

ISBN-13: 1317758153

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What determines whether stepfamilies remain together? What helps stepfamilies overcomes the difficulties of remarriage and become mutually supportive family units? How can mental health professionals better support this development? This book brings both clarity and depth to the unique and complex dynamics of remarried families. Patricia Papernow draws on interviews with over 100 stepfamily members, up-to-date research, a solid theoretical framework, and an empathic clinical sensibility to present an insightful model of stepfamily development, the Stepfamily Cycle. This details account of the sages of forming a lasting, cohesive group is richly illustrated by stepfamily members' own stories. Becoming a Stepfamily describes the developmental challenges involved in building nourishing, reliable relationships between stepparents and stepchildren, in the newly married couple, and between different family groups who must learn to live together in a remarried family. Papernow discusses the factors that influence the pace and ease of development, and she provides four full length case studies illustrating the varied paths through the stepfamily cycle to the successful remarried life. The author offers therapists, clergy, school personnel, and others involved with stepfamilies a range of effective interventions, including preventive, educational, and clinical approaches. She provides practical guidance for helping family members deal constructively with the differing attachments of children to their biological parents and stepparents, assisting stepparents as they cope with feeling excluded from the powerful biological parent-child bond, and guiding biological parents torn between their spouse's need for intimacy and privacy and their children's needs for support and attention.

Therapy with Stepfamilies
Therapy with Stepfamilies

Author: Emily B. Visher

Publisher: Routledge

Published: 2013-04-15

Total Pages: 214

ISBN-13: 1135063281

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The author proceed to regard stepfamilies as different-not better or worse-than the nuclear family for successful therapy. While it is designed to be concise, the book offers a comprehensive look at this topic. The Vishers have crafted a text that will be equally useful to therapists working with stepfamilies, those unfamiliar with the field, and as a text for therapy training programs

Blending Families
Blending Families

Author: Elaine Fantle Shimberg

Publisher: Berkley

Published: 1999-04-01

Total Pages: 244

ISBN-13: 9780425166772

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Today more Americans are part of a second-marriage family than a first. Inevitably, these newly blended "stepfamilies" will be confronted by their own special problems and needs.This insightful problem-solving guide offers solid solutions--and includes real-life stories from families who've been through the adjustment process. Written by an award-winning author who specializes in health and family care, the book covers a wide range of issues--emotional, financial, disciplinary, and interpersonal. Naturally, there is no "one-size-fits-all" solution for second-marriage families. Each is unique, with its own composition, personalities, and problems. But with patience and understanding, this new family can work, live, and eventually love--together.Includes special sections on: * Family communication * Former spouses * Grandparents and step-grandparents * Juggling households * Commuting children * Discipline * School issues * Family customs and rituals * Religious differences * Reducing stress * Adult time * Money issues * Holiday planning * Vacations * Curfews and other rules