Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Bottling Farts (EPUB)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2013-08-24

Total Pages: 30

ISBN-13: 1624544827

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Could the greatest power… The path to riches beyond our wildest imagination… The key to reaching the highest level of spiritual awareness and happiness… …be obtained by bottling farts??? "Shh…it's our secret…" Vlad told the little boy. "Use the power wisely…" Approximately 2,200 words.


20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)

20 Common Questions About Farts (EPUB)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2013-12-13

Total Pages: 60

ISBN-13: 1624544983

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Think you know everything there is to know about mankind's favorite green gas? Well, Donald Rump has something in store for you! Inside, you'll finally get to the bottom of many age-old questions, including: - Where do farts come from? - Are farts people? - Do farts die? - Do all farts go to heaven? - What should I do if a zombie farts on me? - Does inhaling farts cause brain damage? - What if someone steals my farts? - Can farts be used to power my car? - I've run out of farts. Should I dial 911? - Should I join Fartaholics Anonymous? And many, many more! So what are you waiting for? Become a fart expert today! Approximately 11,500 words in all. Intended for readers 15 and up.


Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Keeping Wind Laten and the Fate of the World at Bay (ePub)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2016-07-02

Total Pages: 25

ISBN-13: 1533731373

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Great heavens, the armored kingdoms are under attack! And King Krakken, the domain’s irritable ruler, has an impossible decision. Should he scramble the air ships and meet the encroaching enemy head on or listen to his counsel and hold firm? Either way, the green death is upon him and it’s only a matter of time before he comes face-to-face with the infamous Wind Laten. Approximately 1,600 words. DIAGNOSIS: Less filling. Doesn’t contain many actual farts.


Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)

Gastrointestinal Blues (EPUB)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2013-11-24

Total Pages: 32

ISBN-13: 1624544975

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Since leaving his posh position at the Department of Motor Vehicles, Mackelroy Puggsley thought he\'d smelled the last psychotic fart that nearly killed him. But in his new role as a psychologist, he quickly realizes that the problem is more widespread than he thought. Will a crazed client and his two gassy brides prevent the old man from getting one last piece of nookie before he dies? Or will Mackelroy talk his way out of another hazardous situation and live to see another hair pie? For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 3,400 words in all.


The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2013-08-24

Total Pages: 26

ISBN-13: 1624544835

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Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.


The Ugly Truth

The Ugly Truth

Author: Jeff Kinney

Publisher: Penguin Books Limited

Published: 2012

Total Pages: 217

ISBN-13: 9780141340821

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Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Ugly Truth is the massively funny fifth title in the highly-illustrated, bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series by Jeff Kinney. Perfect for both boys and girls of 8+, reluctant readers and all the millions of devoted Wimpy Kid fans out there. You can also discover Greg on the big screen in any one of the three Wimpy Kid Movie box office smashes.The massively funny fifth book in the bestselling and award-winning Diary of a Wimpy Kid series.Greg Heffley has always been in a hurry to grow up. But is getting older really all it's cracked up to be?Suddenly Greg is dealing with the pressures of boy-girl parties, increased responsibilities, and even the awkward changes that come with getting older. And after a fight with his best friend Rowley, it looks like Greg is going to have to face the "ugly truth" all by himself . . .Praise for Jeff Kinney and the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series:'The world has gone crazy for Jeff Kinney's Diary of a Wimpy Kid series' - Sun'Kinney is right up there with J K Rowling as one of the bestselling children's authors on the planet' - Independent'Hilarious!' - Sunday Telegraph'The most hotly anticipated children's book of the year is here - Diary of a Wimpy Kid' - The Big IssueAs well as being an international bestselling author, Jeff Kinney is also an online developer and designer. He is the creator of the children's virtual world, poptropica where you can also find the Wimpy Kid boardwalk. He was named one of Time magazine's 100 Most Influential People in 2009. He lives with his family in Massachusetts, USA. www.wimpykidclub.co.uk


This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen

This Way for the Gas, Ladies and Gentlemen

Author: Tadeusz Borowski

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 1992-08-01

Total Pages: 196

ISBN-13: 9780140186246

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Tadeusz Borowski’s concentration camp stories were based on his own experiences surviving Auschwitz and Dachau. In spare, brutal prose he describes a world where where the will to survive overrides compassion and prisoners eat, work and sleep a few yards from where others are murdered; where the difference between human beings is reduced to a second bowl of soup, an extra blanket or the luxury of a pair of shoes with thick soles; and where the line between normality and abnormality vanishes. Published in Poland after the Second World War, these stories constitute a masterwork of world literature. For more than seventy years, Penguin has been the leading publisher of classic literature in the English-speaking world. With more than 1,700 titles, Penguin Classics represents a global bookshelf of the best works throughout history and across genres and disciplines. Readers trust the series to provide authoritative texts enhanced by introductions and notes by distinguished scholars and contemporary authors, as well as up-to-date translations by award-winning translators.


Flipped

Flipped

Author: Wendelin Van Draanen

Publisher: Ember

Published: 2003-05-13

Total Pages: 259

ISBN-13: 0375825444

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A classic he-said-she-said romantic comedy! This updated anniversary edition offers story-behind-the-story revelations from author Wendelin Van Draanen. The first time she saw him, she flipped. The first time he saw her, he ran. That was the second grade, but not much has changed by the seventh. Juli says: “My Bryce. Still walking around with my first kiss.” He says: “It’s been six years of strategic avoidance and social discomfort.” But in the eighth grade everything gets turned upside down: just as Bryce is thinking that there’s maybe more to Juli than meets the eye, she’s thinking that he’s not quite all he seemed. This is a classic romantic comedy of errors told in alternating chapters by two fresh, funny voices. The updated anniversary edition contains 32 pages of extra backmatter: essays from Wendelin Van Draanen on her sources of inspiration, on the making of the movie of Flipped, on why she’ll never write a sequel, and a selection of the amazing fan mail she’s received. Awards and accolades for Flipped: SLJ Top 100 Children’s Novels of all time IRA-CBC Children’s Choice IRA Teacher’s Choice Honor winner, Judy Lopez Memorial Award/WNBA Winner of the California Young Reader Medal “We flipped over this fantastic book, its gutsy girl Juli and its wise, wonderful ending.” — The Chicago Tribune “Van Draanen has another winner in this eighth-grade ‘he-said, she-said’ romance. A fast, funny, egg-cellent winner.” — SLJ, Starred review “With a charismatic leading lady kids will flip over, a compelling dynamic between the two narrators and a resonant ending, this novel is a great deal larger than the sum of its parts.” —Publishers Weekly, Starred review


Pregnancy Day By Day

Pregnancy Day By Day

Author: Maggie Blott

Publisher: Penguin

Published: 2009-08-17

Total Pages: 498

ISBN-13: 0756663601

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The complete guide to pregnancy, day-by-day No other pregnancy book provides this level of detail, allied with such extraordinary photographs, 3D scans and illustrations which reveal in unprecedented clarity exactly what is happening to you and your baby every single day. From early fetal development to how your hormones prepare you for birth, learn from world-class experts. Plus, obstetricians, midwives and parents advise on your baby's development, medical matters, your changing body, diet, fitness and much more. A special hour-by-hour rundown of what to expect during and immediately after birth, plus further reassurance for the first two weeks of your baby's life, will give a helping hand through the culmination of your pregnancy, from pain relief to those first intimate and unique moments between you and your child.