A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable. Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.
"Beyond Betrayal: Understanding and Healing from Infidelity" delves deep into the intricate world of infidelity, offering a comprehensive exploration of its causes, consequences, and the path to healing. Through eighteen thought-provoking chapters, this book navigates the complexities of infidelity, examining its various types, societal and cultural influences, psychological motivations, and the dynamics of communication and relationships that contribute to its occurrence. From the impact of the internet and gender perspectives to the discovery of affairs and the potential for repairing relationships, this book offers insights, coping strategies, and a roadmap for rebuilding trust, growth, and ultimately redefining relationships beyond infidelity. It is a guidebook for those seeking understanding, healing, and the possibility of a brighter future.
Infidelity is the most common major crisis of marriage. In this wise book, a psychiatrist and family therapist discusses four kinds of infidelity, why they happen, and what they mean.
Recovering from betrayal can be hard, but it can be done with grace, love, and dignity, using the tips and tools in this warm and engaging book on learning to trust again. You couldn’t brace yourself because you never saw it coming. Your sense of safety and security is shattered in an instant, and the shock is imprinted on your body and mind. Your heart breaks, you feel like you got sucker punched, and the pain is so raw, consuming, and overwhelming you can barely breathe. Someone close to you, possibly a family member, partner, or friend, just pulled the rug out from underneath you—lies you so easily believed and actions you dismissed because it never crossed your mind that the one you trusted the most could ever hurt you. You thought this person had your back. You thought the two of you were honoring the same rules, sharing the same moral code, and respecting the same beliefs. This was a person you loved, trusted, and believed. This is what it feels like to be blindsided by betrayal. During times of betrayal, when we most need support, sometimes the ones we would turn to first are the betrayers. Other times, we’re saddled with shame and fear. But it’s during these times when we need to turn for help and learn to trust again. This work offers support, comfort, and community to those struggling with feelings associated with betrayal and guides them to healing from a painful experience with betrayal. Readers will learn about, and move through the proven five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, and will be lovingly guided with tools and strategies along the way. They’ll also learn how predictable healing can be as they read not only Debi’s journey through betrayal, but the stories of others who have learned to copy, heal, and move on from betrayal to a place of trust and well-being. Readers will identify with at least a few of the many people in the book who share their unique experiences. In addition, they’ll learn about the three groups who didn’t heal and be inspired to take a different course of action so that they can have a more positive outcome.
One of the world’s leading experts on infidelity provides a step-by-step guide through the process of infidelity—from suspicion and revelation to healing, and provides profound, practical guidance to prevent infidelity and, if it happens, recover and heal from it. You’re right to be cautious when you hear these words: “I’m telling you, we’re just friends.” Good people in good marriages are having affairs. The workplace and the Internet have become fertile breeding grounds for “friendships” that can slowly and insidiously turn into love affairs. Yet you can protect your relationship from emotional or sexual betrayal by recognizing the red flags that mark the stages of slipping into an improper, dangerous intimacy that can threaten your marriage.
Statistics show that one in every four marriages is impacted by infidelity. So the odds are pretty good that you or someone you know has experienced the searing pain of marital infidelity. But adultery is not an automatic death sentence for your marriage. You can trust again. You can restore intimacy. You can have a relationship that you will both cherish for a lifetime. Ten years ago, Gary and Mona Shriver experienced the devastation caused by adultery, and in the course of trying to save themselves, they wrote this book. Raw, transparently honest, the Shrivers’ story alone is an inspiration, offering hope and practical strategies for healing. Now this updated and revised edition adds other real-life stories of betrayal and forgiveness, and new information defining adultery, including the destruction of emotional affairs. Some doubt if a marriage can truly heal after the ravages of infidelity. Unfaithful proves you can. It’s not easy . . . but it can be done. Is it worth it? Yes. And you hold the first step—and hope—in your hand.
Have you been traumatized by infidelity? The phrase "broken heart" belies the real trauma behind the all-too-common occurrence of infidelity. Psychologist Dennis Ortman likens the psychological aftermath of sexual betrayal to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in its origin and symptoms, including anxiety, irritability, rage, emotional numbing, and flashbacks. Using PTSD treatment as a model, Dr. Ortman will show you, step by step, how to: • work through conflicting emotions • Understand yourself and your partner • Make important life decisions Dr. Ortman sees recovery as a spiritual journey and draws on the wisdom of diverse faiths, from Christianity to Buddhism. He also offers exercises to deepen recovery, such as guided meditations and journaling, and explores heart-wrenchingly familiar case studies of couples struggling with monogamy. By the end of this book, you will have completed the six stages of healing and emerged with a whole heart, a full spirit, and the freedom to love again.
Meg is a lantern guiding women through the twists and turns along this pain-filled path. --Lynn Marie Cherry, speaker and author of Keep Walking: 40 Days to Hope and Freedom After Betrayal Meg Wilson watched her world fall apart when her husband confessed to years of sexual addiction. She has intimate knowledge of the devastation that follows--and she has come through the other side. In her groundbreaking Hope After Betrayal, Meg provides reassuring counsel, compassionate insight, and wise direction. By sharing her story, talking to other women who've been in a similar situation, and turning to Scripture, Wilson has helped countless readers through the steps to recovery--and shows how you can follow that same path out of the darkness. This newly revised and expanded edition includes new lessons Meg has learned over the last decade. A compelling final chapter by Meg's husband sheds further light on the difficult road to healing from sexual addiction, and a thoughtful new appendix addresses the effect sexual addiction has on children in the home. Hope After Betrayal is a strong and sure lifeline that thousands of women will reach for in a drowning moment. Meg offers careful, clear direction and encouragement in each chapter while unveiling the truth about sexual addiction...This valuable tool should be required reading for every wife and every mother of sons." --Robin Jones Gunn, best-selling author of the Sisterchicks Series
"A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.”
