The groundbreaking guide to self-healing and getting the love you missed “Years ago, I was on vacation and read The Emotionally Absent Mother. That book was one of many that woke me up. . . . I began the process of reparenting and it’s changed my life.”—Dr. Nicole LePera, New York Times–bestselling author of How to Do the Work Was your mother preoccupied, distant, or even demeaning? Have you struggled with relationships—or with your own self-worth? Often, the grown children of emotionally absent mothers can’t quite put a finger on what’s missing from their lives. The children of abusive mothers, by contrast, may recognize the abuse—but overlook its lasting, harmful effects. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. In this second edition of her pioneering book, with compassion for mother and child alike, she explains: Possible reasons your mother was distracted or hurtful—and what she was unable to give The lasting impact of childhood emotional neglect and abuse How to find the child inside you and fill the “mother gap” through reflections and exercises How to secure a happier future for yourself (and perhaps for your children).
Missing, dead, disappeared, or otherwise absent mothers haunt us and the stories we tell ourselves. Our literature, from fairytales like Cinderella and The Little Mermaid to popular narratives like Cheryl Strayed's recent book Wild, is peopled with motherless children. The absent mother, whether in literature or life, may force us to forge an independent identity. But she can also leave a mother-shaped hole and a howling loneliness that dogs us through our adult lives. This anthology explores the theme of absent mothers from scholars and creative writers, who tell personal stories and provide the theoretical framework to recognize and begin to understand the impact of motherlessness that ripples through our cultures and our art.
Gustafson provides a comprehensive overview of Lessing's comments on the structure and purpose of the domestic tragedy within the context of his Laokoon essay, demonstrating that the fundamental psychic-deep structures informing his aesthetic and dramatic production are male narcissism and the abjection of the woman/the mother. As opposed to earlier studies of gender/generic questions in Lessing's dramas, this analysis explicates the theoretical basis for the rigid codification of gender which informs Lessing's fictional symbolic order.
This anthology explores the recurring trope of the dead or absent mother in Western cultural productions. Across historical periods and genres, this dialogue has been employed to articulate and debate questions of politics and religion, social and cultural change as well as issues of power and authority within the family. Åström seeks to investigate the many functions and meanings of the dialogue by covering extensive material from the 1200s to 2014 including hagiography, romances, folktales, plays, novels, children’s literature and graphic novels, as well as film and television. This is achieved by looking at the discourse both as products of the time and culture that produced the various narratives, and as part of an on-going cultural conversation that spans the centuries, resulting in an innovative text that will be of great interest to all scholars of gender, feminist and media studies.
Did your mother’s love always feel out of reach, conditional, or absent? Have the wounds of being emotionally neglected by the person who should have nurtured you left lasting scars? Are you searching for a way to understand, heal, and finally reclaim your sense of worth? Growing up with an emotionally absent mother is a profound and isolating experience, often leaving adult children feeling invisible, unlovable, or like they never measured up. You may find yourself grappling with self-doubt, anxiety, and strained relationships, all while struggling to give yourself the compassion your childhood lacked. Mothers can be emotionally distant for many reasons: unresolved trauma, cultural pressures, depression, perfectionism, or being overwhelmed by life’s demands. Perhaps your mother seemed preoccupied, cold, or incapable of meeting your emotional needs. She may have been physically present but disconnected, unable to express affection or interest, leaving you with an enduring sense of emptiness. If you recognize these signs in your mother, this book is for you: - Her affection felt conditional, based on your achievements or behavior. - She kept you at a distance, or her love felt transactional. - Your emotions were dismissed, minimized, or never acknowledged. - She rarely expressed pride in or delight about who you are. - Her mood was unpredictable, making you hyper-vigilant to avoid conflict. - She prioritized appearances over genuine connection, often more invested in her image than your well-being. - Conversations were one-sided, dominated by her struggles or needs. - You often walked on eggshells, trying to avoid her judgment or disapproval. - She had her own emotional struggles that overshadowed your needs. These behaviors, and more, shape how you perceive yourself and others. The damage can be subtle yet all-encompassing, affecting your ability to trust, express emotions, or feel deserving of love and acceptance. Perhaps you: - Feel burdened by guilt and unworthiness, questioning your own value. - Struggle with a pervasive sense of rejection, constantly fearing abandonment. - Battle perfectionism or people-pleasing as you yearn for validation. - Experience emotional numbness, having disconnected from your own feelings to cope. - Find yourself drawn to relationships that echo your childhood pain. But there is hope. This book offers compassionate guidance to help you recognize and heal these invisible wounds. Inside, you’ll discover practical strategies to break free from destructive patterns, cultivate self-worth, and transform the legacy of emotional absence into one of resilience and emotional presence. You deserve healing, love, and a future free from the shadows of your past. This book will walk with you as you reclaim your self-worth, build fulfilling relationships, and discover the peace and wholeness that have always been within reach.
"The Emotionally Absent Mother"" is a practical guide to understanding and working out the pain of being emotionally abandoned as a child. Insightful explanations offer new perspectives on old problems. The exercises in the book can direct you through your emotional numbness or distress and into a brighter future. The book describes how the trauma of emotional abuse can get started. It lists and describes the symptoms of emotional abandonment. In later chapters, the book tells you what to do about it now that you are an adult and offers not only hope, but a method to reach the goals of becoming emotionally connected with others in a healthier way and becoming freer and more independent. It belongs on the "to-be-read" list of adults who still suffers the pain of being an emotionally abandoned child, as well as those who care about them. Here Is A Preview Of What You'll learn: What exactly is an Emotionally Absent Mother? Describes the symptoms of emotional abandonment. Recognize Why Your Mother Was Emotionally Absent. How to Forgive Your Mother and Forgive Yourself How to Face Feelings of Anger, Resentment and Hurt How to Separate Past Emotions from Your Current Situation Much, much more.
Missing, dead, disappeared, or otherwise absent mothers haunt us and the stories we tell ourselves. Our literature, from fairytales like Cinderella and The Little Mermaid to popular narratives like Cheryl Strayed's recent book Wild, is peopled with motherless children. The absent mother, whether in literature or life, may force us to forge an independent identity. But she can also leave a mother-shaped hole and a howling loneliness that dogs us through our adult lives. This anthology explores the theme of absent mothers from scholars and creative writers, who tell personal stories and provide the theoretical framework to recognize and begin to understand the impact of motherlessness that ripples through our cultures and our art.
A self-help book based in science, the result of more than a decade of research, Daughter Detox offers the daughters of unloving mothers vital information, guidance, and real strategies for healing from childhood experiences, and building genuine self-esteem. Writer Peg Streep lays out seven distinct but interconnected stages on the path to reclaim your life from the effects of a toxic childhood: DISCOVERY, DISCERNMENT, DISTNGUISH, DISARM, RECLAIM, REDIRECT, and RECOVER. Each step is clearly explained, and richly detailed with the stories of other women, approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines, and unique exercises. The book will help the reader tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior, even today. The message of the book is direct: What you experienced in childhood need not continue to hold you back in life. What was learned can be unlearned with effort. The book begins with DISCOVERY, opening up the reader's understanding of how she has been wounded and influenced by her mother's treatment. Recognizing the eight toxic maternal behaviors-dismissive, controlling, emotionally unavailable, unreliable, self-involved or narcissistic, combative, enmeshed, or role-reversed-lays the foundation for the daughter's awareness of how her way of looking at the world, connecting to others, and ability to manage stress were affected. DISCERNMENT delves into the patterns of relationship in her family of origin and how they played a part in her development, and then shifts to looking closely at how the daughter adapted to her treatment, either silencing or losing her true self in the process. Next up is DISTINGUISH, seeing how the behavioral patterns we learned in childhood animate all of our relationships in the present with lovers and spouses, relatives, friends, neighbors, and colleagues. The act of distinguishing allows us to see why so many of us end up in unsatisfying relationships, chose the wrong partners, or are unable to develop close friendships. Active recovery begins with DISARM as the daughter learns how to disconnect unconscious patterns of reaction and behavior and substitute actions that will foster the growth of self-esteem. Understanding the triggers that set us off, the cues that put us on the defensive, and the default positions of blaming ourselves and making excuses for other people's toxic behavior are addressed, as are unhealthy behaviors such as rumination, rejection sensitivity, and more. RECLAIM is the stage at which the reader begins to actively make new choices, preparing herself so that she can live the life she desires by seeing herself as having agency and being empowered. Making new choices and figuring out how to manage her relationship to her unloving or toxic mother is the focus of REDIRECT. There are stories to inspire and challenge your thinking, exercises that show you how to swap out self-criticism for self-compassion, guidance on how to use journaling as a tool of self-discovery and growth, and advice on goal setting.Finally, RECOVER challenges the reader to come up with a new definition of what it means to heal, suggests tools to overcome the obstacles she places in her own way, and strategies to become the best, most authentic version of herself.
A powerful look at the importance of a mother’s presence in the first years of life **Featured in The Wall Street Journal, and seen on Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, and CBS New York** In this important and empowering book, veteran psychoanalyst Erica Komisar explains why a mother's emotional and physical presence in her child's life--especially during the first three years--gives the child a greater chance of growing up emotionally healthy, happy, secure, and resilient. In other words, when it comes to connecting with your baby or toddler, more is more. Compassionate and balanced, and focusing on the emotional health of children and moms alike, this book shows parents how to give their little ones the best chance for developing into healthy and loving adults. Based on more than two decades of clinical work, established psychoanalytic theory, and the most cutting-edge neurobiological research on caregiving, attachment, and brain development, Being There explains: • How to establish emotional connection with a newborn or young child--regardless of whether you're able to work part-time or stay home • How to ease transitions to minimize stress for your baby or toddler • How to select and train quality childcare • What's true and false about widely held beliefs like "I'm not good with babies" and “I’ll make up for it when he’s older” • How to recognize and combat feelings of postpartum depression or boredom • Why three months of maternity leave is not long enough--and how parents can take control of their choices to provide for their family's emotional needs in the first three years Being a new mom isn’t easy. But with support, emotional awareness, and coping skills, it can be the most magical—and essential—work we’ll ever do.
