The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

The Chapped-Ass Critic (EPUB)

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2013-08-24

Total Pages: 26

ISBN-13: 1624544835

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Zack Pimpton's ass never felt worse, and it doesn't help that his doctor is a part time comedian. Unfortunately, Zack is quite the bastard himself and accidentally says the wrong thing that causes the good, old doctor to snap. Intended for mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,300 words. EXCERPT FROM THE CHAPPED-ASS CRITIC “Doc, you’ve got to help me,” a thin, wiry man named Zack Pimpton bent over the padded table and rubbed his behind. “My ass hurts really, really bad. I think I might have broken it.” A bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. “How did this happen?” Dr. Marsh asked. “I don't know. I was typing up a review when suddenly my butt began to hurt. At first it stung just a little. I tried ignoring it, but it got worse and worse until I eventually found myself here. It's terrible! I can’t believe I was able to drive over here.” He tried sitting and recoiled immediately. “Well, you're in luck! It's nothing life-threatening, that’s for sure, but I'm afraid you won’t have use of your buttocks again,” the portly doctor cracked a smile.


Aliens in Wonderland

Aliens in Wonderland

Author: Alpha

Publisher:

Published: 2010-02

Total Pages: 0

ISBN-13: 9781426923173

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An informative in-depth look at the lives of several extraterrestrials (E.T.'s), Extraterrestrial Biological Entities (E.B.E.'s ), and aliens, what their lives are like on their planets in their galaxies, what their spaceships are like, and how they are connected to us here on Earth. In addition, the book delves into how they are important to our religion and military strength. This novel also looks at some historical revelations, future predictions, and current happenings including an interesting collection of anecdotes regarding an ex-CIA agent who gets his wishes granted. It's the author's intention to, at the very least, bridge the gaps that exist between the religions of our generation. One gap is between our present long standing accepted knowledge of our concept of God, and our comprehensible real God. As well, a gap exists between how we are told we should interpret and demonstrate the meaning of God and how we show our faith and prove our belief in the living Creator. These are some things that the author thinks everyone needs to know about God, Satan, and UFOs. This book has been a long time in the making, twenty years, but somehow it still manages to remain ahead of its time, in most cases.


The Hairiest Butt

The Hairiest Butt

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2019-05-06

Total Pages: 26

ISBN-13: 138643891X

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The search for the hairiest butt on Venus leads to explosive results. Approximately 1,600 words. WARNING: Butts, with lots of hair on them.


Hollywood Highbrow

Hollywood Highbrow

Author: Shyon Baumann

Publisher: Princeton University Press

Published: 2018-06-05

Total Pages: 242

ISBN-13: 0691187282

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Today's moviegoers and critics generally consider some Hollywood products--even some blockbusters--to be legitimate works of art. But during the first half century of motion pictures very few Americans would have thought to call an American movie "art." Up through the 1950s, American movies were regarded as a form of popular, even lower-class, entertainment. By the 1960s and 1970s, however, viewers were regularly judging Hollywood films by artistic criteria previously applied only to high art forms. In Hollywood Highbrow, Shyon Baumann for the first time tells how social and cultural forces radically changed the public's perceptions of American movies just as those forces were radically changing the movies themselves. The development in the United States of an appreciation of film as an art was, Baumann shows, the product of large changes in Hollywood and American society as a whole. With the postwar rise of television, American movie audiences shrank dramatically and Hollywood responded by appealing to richer and more educated viewers. Around the same time, European ideas about the director as artist, an easing of censorship, and the development of art-house cinemas, film festivals, and the academic field of film studies encouraged the idea that some American movies--and not just European ones--deserved to be considered art.


Till Death Do Us Fart

Till Death Do Us Fart

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2014-05-18

Total Pages: 30

ISBN-13: 1624545181

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Helen Hubbard's fears have finally been confirmed. During brunch one morning in her favorite restaurant, her husband Gary confesses to cheating on her, and is ready to leave at a moment's notice. When she pries deeper into the matter, she discovers more about his mysterious lover Muffy than she cares to know. “So you’re leaving me for a fart???” Helen exclaimed. For mature (and not so mature) audiences. Approximately 2,500 words.


Kumba Africa

Kumba Africa

Author: Sampson Ejike Odum

Publisher: iUniverse

Published: 2020-11-03

Total Pages: 123

ISBN-13: 1663205043

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‘KUMBA AFRICA’, is a compilation of African Short Stories written as fiction by Sampson Ejike Odum, nostalgically taking our memory back several thousands of years ago in Africa, reminding us about our past heritage. It digs deep into the traditional life style of the Africans of old, their beliefs, their leadership, their courage, their culture, their wars, their defeat and their victories long before the emergence of the white man on the soil of Africa. As a talented writer of rich resource and superior creativity, armed with in-depth knowledge of different cultures and traditions in Africa, the Author throws light on the rich cultural heritage of the people of Africa when civilization was yet unknown to the people. The book reminds the readers that the Africans of old kept their pride and still enjoyed their own lives. They celebrated victories when wars were won, enjoyed their New yam festivals and villages engaged themselves in seasonal wrestling contest etc; Early morning during harmattan season, they gathered firewood and made fire inside their small huts to hit up their bodies from the chilling cold of the harmattan. That was the Africa of old we will always remember. In Africa today, the story have changed. The people now enjoy civilized cultures made possible by the influence of the white man through his scientific and technological process. Yet there are some uncivilized places in Africa whose people haven’t tested or felt the impact of civilization. These people still maintain their ancient traditions and culture. In everything, we believe that days when people paraded barefooted in Africa to the swarmp to tap palm wine and fetch firewood from there farms are almost fading away. The huts are now gradually been replaced with houses built of blocks and beautiful roofs. Thanks to modern civilization. Donkeys and camels are no longer used for carrying heavy loads for merchants. They are now been replaced by heavy trucks and lorries. African traditional methods of healing are now been substituted by hospitals. In all these, I will always love and remember Africa, the home of my birth and must respect her cultures and traditions as an AFRICAN AUTHOR.


A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve - Episode 1: Maloofed

A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve - Episode 1: Maloofed

Author: Donald Rump

Publisher: Donald Rump

Published: 2016-04-24

Total Pages: 24

ISBN-13: 153375828X

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When Steve Skaggs realizes that his earthly body is gone and now he’s a crusty, old fart, the circumstances behind his mysterious death become clear, sending on an aloof adventure of betrayal and deceit. A Lonely, Wayward Fart Named Steve is an ongoing serial novel. This particular volume, including the subsequent author’s note, is approximately 3,150 words. WARNING This story is about a man who dies and comes back to life as a fart. There’s sex involved—not with farts, because you can’t have sex with a fart, you dolt! Anyways, there’s a Pakistani meat stick that’s mentioned, boobs that seem to defy the laws of the galaxy, and plenty of cruel and unusual things that happen to everyone’s favorite fart, Steve. Even if you are some perverted old fool, don’t read it to your kids. You don’t want to have to explain where our arch villainess’ mouth has been. And don’t say that I didn’t warn you!